Pajama Party with the Cardinals

Pajama Party with the Cardinals. 

Such a beautiful morning. Sipping a Nespresso Latté and looking out the french doors. My eyes gazing as the white flakes hit the flowing creek. Oh mercy was it ever a beautiful snow. The camera is practically trembling in it’s case with anxiety to photograph the red and white scenery. Cardinals. Snow. Magic. Angels.

The snow fell in heaps. It thumped on the roof tops it was so heavy and meant to be. 

Some much needed time with God’s snow covered Christmas trees this morning to reflect on everything to take ahead to 2021 and leave behind from 2020. 

Sure, it’s been a mess. ( mess being too little of a word ) BUT~  I’ve seen more love and connection then years past. I’ve seen how the weak mount up and ride together knowing that together they are stronger. 

I’ve witnessed prayer work and other’s give up on praying. Which I’ve learned only means an army is praying for you until you come back. 

I’ve seen so many good things happen this year even though we’ve all had days we treaded through toxic mud. 

Unfortunately loss was catastrophic this year. Nothing but time will change that. 

We as a society witnessed history in the making like we’ve never seen before. Hate came in full body armor trying to take us down. Some still sadly lingering amongst the bigger cities. 

Paying attention to how quickly things actually do change and mainstream topics flip flop only show me that what we feed ourselves is truly what and who we become. 

For example: In a room full of Covid19 conversation we are consumed with Covid. In a room full of thanks, cheer and celebration we are focused on good and happy and our brains are consumed and appreciate that common good ground we all share. Then we walk out of that happy moment back into an empty room. That empty room can make you or break you. It may not be realistic to always try to see a bright-side but there are worse things you could do. I choose to look for Angels. Is that even a thing? It is now. It is for 2021. It is for me. 

Home alone in deep thought ruminating on loss and tragedy then ofcourse a mind and body are only going to respond in such a way that which it is being fed. I watched that more this year with myself than in any year prior. I believe being aware of that will help me going forward.

I read a poetry/prose book this year that really inspired me to think deeper and more critically about the thoughts that I chew on. ( ruminate/dwell ) No matter how old a memory, it will show up again. What I choose to do with it will determine what happens next. 

I followed a coach this year that helped me get out of my comfort zone a bit more with blogging and writing. I had to dig deep into some ugly stuff. It felt awful more times than not but it also showed me what I needed to see and do. 

Pay attention to how an idea or a thought makes you feel. I always tell my youngest son, “ If it doesn’t sound good or feel right then it probably isn’t something you should do or act on.” 

I now tell myself to practice what I preach. 

We have so little real discussions of or about mental health anymore; Almost as if it is a sin to suffer from depression or anxiety. How quickly we throw a tag on a brain and call it crazy without even knowing where it’s been or what it’s been through. 

Cardinals are story tellers. Carriers of messages. Reminders that we still have work to do. Love to keep loving. Life to keep living and gifts to keep giving. 

I see you, I hear you and I love you. 

People have written about the Cardinal for centuries. I’m attaching a link here for anyone interested in learning more about this beautiful bird. 

Cardinal Signs & Symbols, Message from Dean Brooks – Vicki Monroe

I hope you feel the blessing and can be grateful for these beautiful red cheerleaders when they show up. 

What no longer serves me and holds me back from living everyday like I’m dying is what I want to take to 2021. I see so many live like that and I admire you. 

I recently heard Elon Musk say that you have to take risks. It wasn’t that I was hearing that for the first time. What I got hearing it this time was security in taking chances. You can always go back to what you did before you stepped out of your comfort zone if the step you took forward didn’t go as planned. Knowing that, makes me feel comfort. Why? That I can’t explain. I guess I’m just someone who prefers to feel secure. You don’t get on a roller coaster without a buckle right? Okay. There ya go. Security. That’s the answer to the why. 

What a beautiful day for welcoming a brand new year. What a beautiful day to remind us that none of us are leaving here with the beating heart we have now. What a beautiful day to tell the people you love that you love them and appreciate them. What a beautiful day to look outside your window and make a wish on the falling snow. 

No matter how big or small a problem may be, the solution surrounds you if you choose to look for it. 

It all boils down to choices. 

We will never have a heart beat and get to escape that reality. 

I read that if I am supposed to cry 45 tears and I only cried 17 of them then I’m likely still not done grieving or processing a loss: I thought about that one for days. All these boxes full of emotions wrapped in shiny bows. Oops. Today we opened tears. Nope. Back in the box you go. I’ll revisit you later. Maybe. Pretty sure we’re all good at doing that. I’ve certainly learned this year that eventually the only box left has tears in it. 

I’m glad that’s okay today. I’m glad I get to feel everything so deeply. It allows me to love you so very much. 

Angel’s have chased me from as early as I can remember. I think my first funeral was when I was like 6. I never slowed down long enough to let them catch me and tell me anything. This past year though, they tagged me hard. It was as if they finally caught me and sat on my chest. Short of breath and pecking at me. Chirping. Sit down, shut up, and listen. You want to feel better? Then you be better. You want to smile bigger then you put smiles on other peoples faces. You want to love life more then you give love more. You want to write more then you listen more. You want to laugh more then you surround yourself with those you can laugh with. You want to be sad? Do you? Do you really just want to sit and be sad? Okay then. Just sit and be sad. But damn it, don’t you dare think for one second that you get to stay there. Get rid of all that heavy junk you’ve toted around and rise up. Take a deep breath because being sad is easy. Being happy, positive and hopeful is what takes work and effort on your part. 

See the solution. Be the solution. Share the solution. 

An Angel whispers, “It’s in the songs you hear. The music you play, pictures you paint, books you haven’t written yet. The drawings you draw, photos you capture on camera, and in an unexpected gift you give a small child that stamps his heart forever. The just because phone calls you make to a parent, grandparent or child. The friend you reach out to check on because you know they may be feeling down. The smile to a stranger at a stop light, and the running to open a door for someone just for the sake of kindness. The beautiful bracelets you gift a friend because their smile lights up the entire universe. The moon out the bedroom window that dances with the star of David every night. The secret sister note of encouragement you leave to brighten up someones day. The surprise party you get to attend to celebrate someone’s huge accomplishment. The laughter you share at a picnic table amongst your friends at break time. The laughter you hear on the other side of the door in a room full of children. The hug you get because you matter to them. The hug you give because they matter so much to you.” 

I chose to write solutions above. 

I could have wrote about problems, anger, depression, anxiety and thoughts that are scary and easy to write about. But instead I chose to look on the bright side and write about the bright side. 

I choose that. 

Choice and Choose.

Power words to take into 2021. 

Two of my children were born on the 21st day of their birth month. 

So this is a big year for them. 

21 21 and in 21 ~ that’s 222 and 111. 

You can’t get much better then that. 

To end the snow flustering morning, I stepped out onto the deck and found the ice below the snow. Oops. Be careful now. Somewhat slippery. The frozen snow reminding me to be aware of all the magic the world lays at our feet. 

Author: Lynn Rilean Smith