We - The Humans

A large city like London has its fair share of alleys; it's inevitable. Rats exist all around and it is in these dark and poorly sanitized alleys that they find each other and fraternize. And in all human history there were those who erected powerful lights without caring for how many shadows would come out; and how many would live there, the so called delinquents, criminals, murderers and the poor.

As such, a small bar would shine on the dirty world of those who lived in the shadows. It was called “Sons of God”, although the letter “o” was missing due to the force of time. And, as in every night, the tavern found itself full of varied figures: Barney, a bankrupt North American investor, Almeida, a romantic Portuguese poet, Thomas, an English worker, and some more. Everyone knew the owner and bartender of the place. He was clearly English but no one knew anything of the man. His name, his past, his will… nothing. As such, they gave him a name; he was signified as “Joe”.

Certainly, Joe was the only one of these men who cared to wear elegant clothes. Even amidst the hopelessness, sadness and poverty his clients would exhale, Joe would try his best to make the place be as comfortable as possible. After all, his tavern was the refuge of these deluded men, and his service was to help them find at least one place where they can laugh and cry without shame in their faces, without judgement.

A common tradition of nights like these was to organize themselves in a comfortable way on the balcony so each person could tell its story. Barney was the first:

- “Very well gentlemen, we’re all reunited here to make fun of our misfortunes!” – and laughed as he kept holding a glass of beer. Then proceeded: - “and is there a bigger misfortune then to fail for counting on your luck? Oh, if anyone told me two years before that the world would crack, I’d laugh as if I was face to face with a lunatic! But it is true, gentlemen. I have invested all my luck on the stock market and now here I am: without a coin on my pocket and owing to God and everyone. Speaking of God, He knows what I had to suffer and do to survive on the streets after my downfall! Moneylenders of all around would pay me visits, I had to run from my own home! Home… as if it was mine at this point. I was threatened to be killed, fellas, lots of times, even. But I barely escaped… only to be left on this gutter. Ah, but my decline doesn’t stop there. Incapable of finding any work that could feed me, I had to resort to crime. I’m an avid catholic, gentlemen, but not even my faith could stop me from doing this shameful act: I believe you all know the small church established around these sordid neighborhoods. Well, I thought to myself it’d be an easy target to get some money or, at least, food enough to alleviate the hunger. Of course, I hesitated for a while; I believed, however, that I’d be forgiven and justified through the eyes of God in face of this minimal infraction. Oh, but I would never be forgiven for what was to come: after entering the chapel, I climbed up the stairs in a cautious way. Then I got in father Onório’s room and searched for anything that could be of value. It was foolishness! I started to get nervous and impatient which caused one of the nuns to hear me. Soon as she approached, it was instinctive: I withdrew my knife and butchered it straight up into her chest. Hearing the commotion, the father approached to investigate. Paralyzed while I held the nun’s body on my arms, I wasn’t able to run in time for not to be seen. The father, then, threw himself over me in attempts to protect her; and once again my instincts spoke louder: the knife penetrated the man’s jugular as if it was made of paper. I became aware of what I just had done and ran like never before, even left my bag full of items behind. I had to get through the rest of the night under a pile of trash so I would not be seen by the police, assuming the police even cared… An impetuous, improvised, quick act can end a man’s life. The destiny of humanity was never at our palms”.

Everyone kept their mouths shut while drinking their respective drinks for some time, until an old man with a deep voice interrupted the silence:

- “Who’ll be the next to share their story?”.

Placing the glass over the balcony and taking off his flat hat, Thomas started:

- “Gentlemen, even though, in this soil, we forget all our differences, it must be said that I have always been on the poor and unfortunate side that Barney now finds himself in. Just like my father, I’m of proletarian origin, and just like most people from my social class, I have been present in protests against the elite. And I have contributed in a lot of ways: been a participant of most reunions, spread flyers, fought in the streets… I believed I could bring a more just society. However, as if the Devil himself could hear my thoughts, it didn’t take long for the dream of a better future to become pure unstoppable hate for those who mistreated us. As such, in one of those clashes against the powerful, we broke through a factory which practiced horrendous acts in the name of the eternal production. We broke the doors with our improvised weapons, inflated the workers that were there and started breaking the machines. Mates, it pains me to tell you what happened next… but I’ll do it anyway: with my shank in hands, I stroke a fatal hit on the establishment’s owner. I felt, as you can imagine, great, like a hero. Well, I did until I saw his wife and daughter completely terrorized while hiding under the table. I felt guilty but told the rest the hiding spot of the girls. Blinded they were by hate, they killed both before any of them could react. If only I had kept my mouth shut! But what am I saying? Even if they were still breathing, they’d have to live without a husband and a father! My crime was already sealed: I was a murderer!”.

Barney approached Thomas, placed his right hand over his shoulder and paid him a drink. Before Thomas could thank him, however, Almeida spoke:

- “I think it’s my turn now, gentlemen” – did a serious expression and kept going: - “I’m a poet, and as such, I had my fair share of infatuations. In fact, I had been a libertine man for a long time” – At this point, a man entered the bar but didn’t say anything – “I would let myself get carried by lust; the breasts of gorgeous ladies were my paradise. As such, I wasted most of my currency on orgies and prostitutes. That was the way I lived my life, constantly drunk, smelling like piss and with a hole in my heart. I would write about women in my poems, I was sure I understood their complex world and I was sure I loved them as goddesses. Oh, but my love was superfluous! Narcissistic, even. That was the conclusion I came after, inevitably, my heart got caught by a beautiful young lady with orange hair… I won’t reveal her name but be aware that the woman was from a wealthy and respected family, and even had a body like the goddess Aphrodite. Body like Aphrodite but soul of Pandora; so pure she was! When I saw her for the first time, my dark and dirty spirit immediately wanted her and, in a certain day, in a certain theater, I made my move: I convinced her to go out with me for a walk under the moon’s light. We wandered until our feet were sore. Quickly, I took her to a hotel that was close and we spent the night there, making love as if it was our first and final time. Ah, my friends, I’ll tell you the truth: you only make true love if there’s no wish of transcendence! As to what this means, I’ll leave it up to you. Anyway, after our nuptial night, she told me about her parents and how they would not allow us to be together. I didn’t take her words seriously at first but eventually I became aware of the seriousness of it. I couldn’t meet her at any moment, even if it was in a secret way since she was locked in her room due to my drink’s scent impregnated on her neck. I was separated from my beloved! I tried to be patient; we were exchanging letters after all. One day, however, I wasn’t able to resist: be it libido or love, I had to run with her. I told her beforehand through a letter that I’d help her escape from her prison so we could run to the city of lovers (Paris, of course!) where we could be happy like never before! I would have to spend my last resources but it’d be worth it. She agreed and the following happened: I got in through the window (it was hot so a maid had probably left it open). After coming in, I went upstairs really quickly, although very quietly, to the room of my beloved. As I opened the door, there she was; so beautiful with her purple dress! Oh, but the purple would soon become red… Like what happened to Barney, her father walked upstairs to check her in. I didn’t think twice: I drew my pocket knife from my coat and tried to strike his torso. I would kill even God if that’s what it took to be with her! But she didn’t think like that. In the blink of an eye, she placed herself between me and her dad in a way that my blade got through her chest!... While seeing her father cry holding the lifeless body of my beloved girl, I ran as soon as I came back to myself. My only shot at happiness, gentlemen, and I killed it! I killed it – because of love!”.

Another moment of silence happened. The man who had just entered sat down besides Almeida, asked for a glass of beer and said:

- “The most essential tragedy in human life is to kill those we love”.

Everybody looked at him and Thomas questioned:

 - “And who are you, stranger?”.

He soon got the answer:

- “My name is Meursault, gentlemen. I’m French” – took a sip of beer and proceeded: - “and just like all of you, I have a story to share. I’m not a thief, killer or any other type of criminal. In fact, I’m a lawyer. Hear me, however: the criminal exists so the innocent doesn’t get caught in his own judgement; and how much there is to blame in every man and woman! Anyway, just like our poet here, I was a being of the seas. An existence for free and absurd spirits, certainly, but also for cowards. I wanted to escape my own emptiness; my own incapacity for love. And that’s the key word, love. I could never find it because I was never capable of giving names to faces. As objects I would see them; existing purely for my fantasies and pleasures. I thought I had the seas at the palm of my hand. ‘The world is mine’ was the conclusion. And if this life is for the free, it is also, simultaneously, for jailer agents! I didn’t give the others the right to be lovers; atopics; humans! And it was because of this that I drowned the only woman who ever loved me. So blind I was in regards to her affection! I didn’t kill her, some would say. She chose to die, others would say. But the truth is that my endless lies, my disgusting affairs and my eternal blindness in face of other humans doomed her. I never gave her the liberty to love another one besides me; took from her the capacity she had of being a rose! I corrupted her. I murdered her in a subtle and invisible way. I poisoned her as a citizen, as an innocent! We’re all in the mud, my friends; the rule of the game is to see who can throw the most dirt before they get completely mudded”.

Out of nowhere, Joe, who always used to be quiet and almost immovable (moving only to serve drinks if such was requested), took a bunch of glasses, one for each individual present there (he himself included), filled them with beer, lifted his glass and said:

- “A toast, gentlemen – to human nature!”.

Everybody got confused and surprised, and quickly Joe started to talk:

- “A toast to all of our sufferings, martyrdoms, sacrifices, evil doings and crimes! A toast to what’s most human in our sins! To everyone we murdered for love, saved for hate and conquered for pride!” – took a quick pause but soon continued: - “we are the sons of God; delinquent sons, I tell you! The products of his unceasing goodness! Of his blinding light! Because it’s not part of us to be good, even less bad; only humans, that’s what we are. And there’s innocence in that; a primitive and Dionysian innocence! With the heart of a woman, we accept and embrace every ugliness, every imperfection! Our souls are corrupted, marked by darkness. But it is through this that we recognize ourselves: as low, vile, impure, in summary, human, all too human! We’re capable of the most horrible and, simultaneously, elevated acts! Let the blinding tyranny of God be expelled from our spirits! The tyranny of good and righteousness! We shall embrace our sins, my friends! We shall embrace our condition! Everything is justified under the eyes of Dionysus; the eyes of Life itself! Every and all evil shall be tolerated, even appreciated! After all, Life and Death regulate each other. There’s no shame in our sins, gentlemen! And if there’s repent in our actions, let it be just another affirmation of Life! Let us be capable of enduring the burns of the sun that blesses us all!” – drank a bit of beer – “Now feast, men! Drink in celebration to our sacred fraternizing moment! And tomorrow wake up with clean and smiling faces; totally conscious of your own innocence! And what you are today will die in sacrifice. Sacrifice in the name of who you’ll be in the next day! We are sinners, that’s true; however, it’s because of that we are capable of being washed away from any sin! To us, God is unachievable; perfection is only a dream. Oh, but how much love can be found in our deepest abyss! We, the only ones who can recognize and offer our hands to darkness! We, the only ones capable of forgiving and even accepting evilness! We – the humans…!”.

At this instant, all those delinquent and criminal men sang, hugged each other and celebrated, forgetting, at least for one night, the past.

Thiago Mendes

Editor(s): David Gómez Lorca; Leandro Fernandez.