Tethered in the Shattering

A burst of Crimson was how Steven would have described the sky.

And standing with his feet ankle deep in the cool waters of the Andaman sea, a few miles to the north of Karon beach, Phuket, he gazed out at the most perfect Sunrise he’d ever seen.

The sea was calm, and seagulls called. Fishermen dragged their boats, returning back to the shore after their early morning catch. 

It was boxing day, the day after Christmas, and he was there for a family lunch. With family who weren’t really his. But they his in every sense that made sense to him.

The Sun was yet to rise, but the sky had exploded in the most stunning shades of orange he’d ever witnessed, and there was a flurry of activity happening behind him, at the beautiful cottage where he usually spent his time this time round the year.

Somchai, the seventy-five year old Thai man, whom he now called dad, barked orders at everyone, while limping around on his walking stick.

Kai, his twenty-three year old son, hauled one of the large table outside, swearing under his breath at how he was left to do all the hard work, while Karen his wife arranged the flowers for the centre piece, opening her arms to kiss Kai on his cheek every time he grumbled.

Steven gazed at Kai in pride, at how tall and strong he’d become now. His Kyle would have looked like him, he thought. Only that Kai’s hair was black, unlike Kyle’s blonde locks. And Kai was half Japanese, with the most beautiful eyes ever. Kyle’s were beautiful too. They were a bright green.

But Kyle was gone, and he was thankful at least Kai was here.

“Steven, are you going to keep standing there?” Malee, Somachai’s wife, called to him, pointing to the basket full of fresh fish she wanted him to carry into the kitchen. 

“Mai.” Chuckling, Steven ran to help her. He called her mum at her insistence, and it warmed him at how her eyes glistened every time he called her that.

“I love it when you call me Mai. You sound exactly like my….” Swallowing her tears, she patted his cheek, and Steven knew what she was thinking, for he was thinking the same.

The grief of having lost a child. He was living that grief to this day.

“It’s just like that morning,” Malee choked, but turned to gather a bunch of herbs from her kitchen garden.

Steven couldn’t agree less. Everything was exactly like how it had been that morning, fifteen years ago, when his life had changed at the snap of a finger.

“Saarah, come back here.” He remembered running after his five-year-old. She had the prettiest smile and the bluest eyes, just like her mother. 

Kyle, their eight-year-old son had stayed back at the hotel for his early morning diving class.

While Karen, his darling wife was beside him, twining her fingers with his as they took a stroll down the beach. Gazing at her, he’d wondered then, when and how he’d got so lucky to have this beautiful woman as his wife.

“Such a beautiful morning!” Karen had whispered. “Can’t believe Christmas’s been and gone.”

They usually celebrated Christmas at home in Seattle. But that year was a special year. It was their tenth wedding anniversary, and they’d been celebrating it in sunny Phuket. 

The plan was simple. They’d take a stroll, watch the sunrise, and then once Kyle would return from his class they’d sit down for breakfast, and spend the rest of the day under the Sun.

That was when it had all happened.

The Tsunami that had wrecked his life.

And it had happened so fast, Steven hadn’t even had time to catch his breath. 

“What is that, Steve?” he remembered the horror in Karen’s voice, and the way he’d snapped his head towards the sea.

His body had frozen in horror, in awe too, at the wave that rose up like a wall, taller than a five storey building. 

Fear like he’d never known in his life had rendered him paralysed.

“Ruunnn…” he’d heard fishermen yell, and his instincts had kicked in. 

Reaching for his daughter, he’d flung her over his shoulder. And holding her tight against his heart with one hand, while grabbing Karan’s hand with the other, he had run. His legs had caved every time he’d glanced over his shoulder and had watched the wave grow higher and angrier. 

But he knew they had to run.

Their resort was just a little further up the beach. 

They’d make it. They had to make it.

But that was when the wave had crash upon him, like a tonne of bricks. He had been thrown face forward, and had been swept even before he could flap his hands.

As the memories flooded back, stopping just behind the kitchen counter, Steven caught the edge, shuddering, as that precise moment came back to him when his Sarah had been torn from his arms.

“Dadeeee.” Her voice echoed in his head to this day. 

His darling child.

He’d fought and struggled, but the waves had swirled, swept, sucked, and tossed him.

And in all the gushing noise that surrounded him, of metal bending, of people screaming, of wood breaking, his own heartbeat had pounded like a death knell. 

He’d lost his wife. His precious child too. 

And Kyle?

But the waves had swept him away, and soon he’d lost his will to fight. His arms had turned to jelly, his thoughts had scattered, and he’d prepared himself, thinking this was it, when a hand had reached for him.

And before he knew it, he was being dragged up on top of a house, by Somchai and Malee. Both strangers. Both searching for their sons who’d been swept away by the currents.

“They were painting the fence,” Suddenly, Malee choked beside him, grinding her spice paste in her traditional pestle and mortar, while gazing out to the fence that surrounded the house. 

“My Chakrii would have been the same age as you,” she choked.

The sea was a few feet from where they stood. 

The view now was breath-taking.

That morning it had been devastating.

Fifteen years, yet it felt like yesterday.

Steven nodded, lost to his thoughts again. 

As he’d sat upon the roof and searched around, he’d spotted Karen in the water. Throwing a rope at her, they’d managed to pull her to safety.

But her eyes had been bleeding, and a nasty cut across her face had knocked her unconcious.

He’d held her to his heart, trying his best to stop the bleeding, yet he’d searched around in panic. 

Where was his Sarah?

And the moment he’d found a bright yellow dress glittering in amongst the debris, he'd jumped into the sea again, not bothering if he’d die in the process. 

He had to save his precious child. 

Grabbing her dress before she got swept away, he’d dragged her to the edge of the roof, and got her to safety with Somchai’s help.

Relief had swept through him that his child was safe.

But the moment he’d turned the child in his arms, all his blood had left his body.

She wasn’t his Sarah, but with her skin glowing like caramel, and her curly braided hair flicking over her forehead, she too was the prettiest girl he’d ever seen.

The kitchen suddenly burst in the flavours of ginger and lemon grass and Steven blew a sigh, jolted back to the now. 

He didn’t have it in him to re-live the memories of that awful day. 

For the next few hours he helped Malee prep the fish, prepare the rice and vegetables. He then threw the chicken in the oven, and began prepping for the rich chocolate cake his wife would bake later.

“You are just like my Chakrii.” Malee patted his cheek, welling at the mention of her lost son. “He too always spent all his time with me.”

Steven rested his head on her shoulder. He’d lost his mother in an accident as a teenager. But with Malee, he felt like he’d found his mother again, just like she had found her son with him.

“Go, help them.” She pushed him out, once he had washed all dishes. 

Yet, the moment he stepped outside, the images of that day flashed before him.

For hours they’d sat on top of that roof, helping anyone they could. But once the waves had somewhat subsided, a rescue boat had helped him take Karen and the others to a nearby hospital.

The scene that had met him at the hospital had left him cold under his skin. The sheer number of dead and injured still left him panting sometimes.

And as he’d stood waiting for a doctor, a woman had been brought in. Her body was so badly injured, Steven remembered looking away, wanting to throw up. 

The doctors had immediately declared her dead.

But from the corner of his eyes, he’d caught the innocent gaze of a little-eight-year old clutching tight to the dead woman’s bludgeoned hand, and despite not wanting to his eyes had blurred with tears.

He’d stretched his hand to the child, and the boy had taken his. 

Kai, the child had told his name was. And that was his mother who was now gone.

Steven had held him to his heart, not knowing how to comfort him. 

But taking Kai with him, he’d fled into the ICU, watching the doctors getting down to work immediately on Karen and the little girl.

He smiled, thinking of how he’d sat all night beside the sweet little girl, twining his fingers into her tiny hands, just like he’d always done with his Sarah.

Although his heart had wept for his Sarah, he’d prayed for this child to wake up and smile at him.

But he’d hadn’t shed a tear. For he was sure, his Sarah, the sunshine of his life, was safe and healthy. That she would return with the first rays of the Sun. 

He’d then thought of Kyle, wondering where he must be. He had been within the safety of the resort. Perhaps he was safe. He had to be safe.

Oh God! His heart had wept, never wishing for a fate like his upon anyone.

Kai, the little eight-year-old who’d been clinging to him all day had finally dozed off on his lap. He had never once wept, for food, or water, or for his mother.

Late that night, Steven had finally taken Kai down to the canteen. The child had eaten in silence, never throwing a fuss, or demanding for more, and Steven had chuckled at how different Kai was to his Kyle.

Yet, in that moment, despite having lost both his children, and despite his wife battling for her life, he hadn’t felt empty. His hands were full. Not with his children.

But they had felt like his own.

And when the morning had come, bright and sunny, taunting him at the never-ending nightmare his life had turned into, the sweet little girl had eventually fluttered her eyes open. 

“Hey!” he’d stroked her cheeks, in awe of her beautiful hazel eyes glowing in the rays of the early morning Sun.

And she had given him the sweetest smile ever.

“What’s your name?” he’d asked.

“Sara,” she’d whispered. 

And Steven had broken down into a sob at last.

Looking out at the sea, tears burned his eyes, when “Dad!” Sara suddenly called to him. 

Jolted out of his memories, Steven glanced at over his shoulder. A twenty years of age, she was now a confident woman. Almost five ten, with her skin glowing in a beautiful chestnut, and her curly hair blowing in the cool morning breeze, Steven sighed at what a beautiful woman she was. But she would always remain his sweet little child, who had always brightened his day with her smiles.

“Its a beautiful morning.” She flashed her usual sunniest smile. 

“Its beautiful because you are here,” stretching his hand out to her, he whispered, and kissed her hazel eyes. Sara’s father, a chef from Ethiopia, had been swept away that morning. Like his Sarah and Kyle, her father too had never been found.

And they hoped they had all survived, and were living somewhere.

That awful morning, he had lost his Sarah, but he had found his Sara too.

As he gazed down at her, she lifted her big hazel eyes to him and flashed her sunniest smile at him. 

“Thanks dad,” she whispered, “for everything.”

“Thanks to you, Sara,” he pressed his lips to her forehead.

_

“Lunch is ready.” Malee yelled, waiting for the others to help her set the table. 

The air was full of happy sounds. Sara and Kai squabbled as always. And Malee and Somchai brought out all the presents and put them on top of the table. They didn’t exchange presents on Christmas day, instead exchanged them on Boxing day. 

As Steven’s gaze met with Karen’s, he smiled. Her eyes weren’t blue anymore, they were a pitch black now. But he loved them. 

And she had a deep scar right across her cheek, that went down all the way down her throat. He loved that too. 

Reaching out to take her hand, he leaned in to kiss her neck, taking in a lungful of her perfume that smelt like a meadow of lavenders.

“Look beautiful.” He kissed her temples. And kissed her hand, her fingers mainly. She had lost three fingers too that day. But she was here, still with him. Still fresh and beautiful. Her eyes still beaming with light, just like they had that morning.

His Karen. His beloved wife.

_

A car suddenly came to a halt just a little further away from the house, and Malee stood with her hand on her hip. 

“You’re always late, Sunder,” she grumbled at the man who strode across the lawn with his arms wide open. 

“Mae.” He gave her a kiss. 

He then gave Steven a pat, and a nod. 

“Now both my sons are here.” Malee sighed in relief, waiting for her husband to start pouring the wine.

Steven held Sundar’s gaze for longer than usual. Indian by birth, and younger to him by a couple of years, Sundar owned a cafe further up the road. He too had been one of the may men they’d rescued that morning. Him and his sister, Kamya. While Sundar hadn’t been hurt, his sister had succumbed to her injuries before they’d reached the hospital.

She had been his only family.

But Sundar and Karen shared a special bond.

Karen’s injuries hadn’t been too severe, but she had lost both eyes. 

And it had taken Sundar a split second to offer his sister’s eyes to Karen. He had donated all of her organs too, wanting to help as many people as he could, while also keeping a part of his beloved sister alive. 

“Brother.” Karen called out to Sundar, and he opened his arms for her.

Gazing into her eyes, he smiled. He then leaned to kiss her eyes one after the other. 

“My Kamya,” he whispered, welling with tears, as he gazed into Karen’s deep, dark eyes for as long as he could.

“Its time.” Malee nodded. 

And just before they sat for lunch, each one held on to the rock they had brought with them, along with a bunch of purple Aubrieta. Laying the rock at the bottom of the altar they had erected in memory of all those whom they had lost, they said a silent prayer, wishing them peace.

_

Once they wiped their tears, “Mom, I’m starving,” Kai whined at Karen, making everyone chuckle.

“He’s always hungry,” Sara complained.

“Lets go,” Karen choked, but reached out to her beautiful boy. Her Kyle was lost. But she had Kai now.

“I’m glad we found you.” She patted Kai’s cheek.

“I’m grateful I have you, Mom.” He wrapped her into his arms, leaning to kiss her cheek.

“Why does Mom love him more?” Sara asked with a frown, sitting down at the table.

“Because Dad loves you more.” Kai stuck his tongue at her.

“And I love all of you.” Somchai finally stood at the top of the table, and gazed at his family.

Everyone gazed at the old man with love. For each one of them owed their life to him. That afternoon, despite having lost both his sons, he had been standing up the roof, waiting to rescue them all. 

He had also later offered them a place to stay while they had searched for their children. And when it had been time to leave, he had clutched tight to Steven and wept, begging him to return and fill the hole his sons had left behind.

And Steven had done just that, for he too was suffering with a similar hole in his heart. 

A hole that Kai and Sara had somewhat filled.

Raising his glass, “Fifteen years to this day,” Somchai choked, “we lost those who were dearest to us. But…” He turned his eyes, nodding at each one. “I’m proud to say, fifteen years ago, we also found each other. Malee and I lost our sons, but we found Steven and Sundar, and today we are proud grandparents to Kai and Sara.”

The old man choked, but he held his chin high. “But our families who live on in the heaven, we raise this toast to them, thanking them for choosing this family for us, for giving us each other during our darkest hour.”

Everyone sniffled, and nodded. How was anyone meant to come back from a tragedy like that? But they had, for they had each other.

“To our family.” Steven raised his glass. “The ones gathered here, and the ones watching us from wherever there are.”

“To family.” They raised a toast. “To love.”