Inside Joke

They always tell you, “Love is patient and doesn’t hurt”, so how long will I have to wait for this pain to go away? I turned around after staring out the window for who-knows-how-long the moment I heard a clanking of pots in the kitchen.

“What are you doing in there?!” I yell out from the living room. He’s always up to something, in fact, that’s what I used to love about him. He had a drive to wake up each and every day and just do something. He was a man of numbers, always calculating new discoveries as he continued to feed his insatiable desire to conquer the world.

 At first, I could never understand what went through his head when he would plan out these crazy organizations and projects with his other business partners, but I was willing to stand with him every step of the way, even if I didn’t want to go. I don’t know how to explain it, but something about the way his booming voice filled up the room, and how everyone always seemed to listen to him, just attracted me in a way I can’t comprehend. He was powerful and fearless, and at first, I loved that.

But then, something shifted. There were times where I’d catch him working in the middle of the night, or he would be downstairs on the phone talking with people I had never met before. In fact, he became more protective of his phone, always taking with him no matter where he was going, and rarely left it on the table unattended. But, like any normal woman with common sense, I did consider that there’s no way numbers and names can be that serious to guard.

Flashback

           I can’t believe I really have to do this… I mean, I’m sure we’ve all seen those movies where the wife suspects her husband of cheating and goes crazy trying to catch him in the act, but I never thought I would be doing the same.

           Like, look at what I am doing right now! Leaning my ear against the bathroom door trying to listen to my husband’s phone call conversation! Oh, how low can this possibly get for me?!

           “Alright, cool I’ll meet you tomorrow.” I heard his muffled voice through the door. Tomorrow? Tomorrow’s Saturday… crap, he’s coming back! I swiftly race back to our bed across the room and launch myself onto the fluffy mattress. Just milliseconds after I manage to sit up, he opens the bathroom door with a small grin on his face as he smiled to himself.

           “Who was that?” I asked with a stoic facing, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.

“Oh, uh, just a business friend of mine.” he answered rather hurriedly as his smile dropped almost as if I had caught him off guard.

‘I didn’t realize “business friends” could keep you on the phone for an hour and a half, but then again I don’t have a lot of friends…or a business for that matter’

I didn’t ask any more questions, but instead waited for him to come to bed and fall asleep. It was an odd thing, y’know, staring at his relaxed face in the dark and listening to his breathing regulate into a relaxed pattern. I mean, I’ve done this before, watching him sleep out of admiration and love, but this time was different. This time, I was looking at him as if he was a stranger in my bed. I almost couldn’t identify his soft expression and warm hands that were currently holding me close… I couldn’t recognize my husband.

I finally scanned my eyes to that offending piece of technology sitting on the lampstand on the other side of the bed. It was almost as if it were mocking me, knowing that it held the answers to my current dilemma. Moving as quietly as possible, I stretched my arm over him to grab the phone. It felt cold and heavy in my hands, as if I weren’t supposed to be touching it in the first place.

Tip-toeing quickly to the bathroom, such an ironic place to be doing this, I shut the door and took a deep breath. It’s now or never, all I have to do just check whose been calling him for the past few days, and then this will all be over.

Turning on the phone, I swiped my finger upwards to reveal the lock screen that demanded a password.

Pfft, easy-peasy. The password was our wedding date (men are so simple sometimes). My fingers made a light tapping noise as I pressed the numbers ‘7-21-24’.

“Password Denied. You have 2 more attempts before the device automatically shuts off.”

I blinked nearly comically at the screen as I felt it buzz from the apparent ‘incorrect password’. No, this can’t be right; This has been the password for over a year and a half now. Maybe I was just typing the numbers wrong, so I re-entered them slower this time.

7-2-1-2-4

“Password Denied. You have 1 more attempt before the device automatically shuts off.”

I get a sick feeling to my stomach as the screen flashes red again with those offending words. I glance down to the bottom of the screen and click the tiny underline words “Forgot Password?”

Greeted with a pop-up that was supposed to help me “remember” the password, I was about to proceed and follow what the guide instructed me to do when a sentence at the very top of the screen caught my attention, “Hint: Password was changed two weeks ago.”

End Flashback

           I hadn’t realized I’d been zoned out and staring at him until I heard a light thud on the glass dinner plate in front of me. I looked down to see what he had put on it and was instantly disgusted: a slice from our wedding cake that had been in the freezer.

“I’m not that hungry, I barely ate our dinner.” I uttered quickly as I tried to maintain my cool. “That’s nonsense,” he replied as he smiled at me like nothing was wrong, “you love chocolate cake.”

‘Well I hate to break it to you Sherlock, but this isn’t just any cake’, I thought to myself and rolled my eyes.

 “Babe, you’ve barely eaten anything all day.” ‘Don’t call me “babe”’. I didn’t respond.

I heard him sigh from what I assume was frustration, “Look, I’m just worried about you okay? You’ve been distant lately and I just want to make sure you’re alright.”

Ignoring his concern, I changed the subject, “Has your replacement phone come in yet?”. He holds eye contact with me for a few seconds before sighing, “Yeah, since this is my first time losing my phone they’ll send me a new one, free of charge.”

A strange feeling started to boil up in me as the conversation continued.

“Well, that’s great,” I managed force out with a fake smile that probably made me look like a psycho, “I’m glad you didn’t have to waste unnecessary money.”

His light laugh filled the room, “Unnecessary money? Babe, believe it or not, not all companies in the world want to steal out of our pockets.”

What little restrain I had left snapped as I heard his remark, and I began to cackle as well, yet I wasn’t amused whatsoever. The longer I giggled, the more the pain and hurt I’d been holding began to release.

hahaHAhahaHAaa

“I just hope—” I managed to say in between hysterical giggles, “—you don’t use the same passcode as your other phone.”

“What do you mean?” he asked with a puzzled look on his face, as if he’d missed the joke.

But my frenzied laughs and over-flowing tears continued to get increase as I pulled out his “lost” phone and slammed it on the table.

hahaHAhahaHAaa

“I mean I hope your passcode with the new one they sent you is something different from this one! ahAHHA. Y’know, so that way you and your ‘business friend’ can have more conservations!!” HHAHAHHAHAH

His face instantly dropped, “Babe-“

“Isn’t that SO FUNNY??”

“Listen, you have the wrong idea-“ he continued.

“No no no no! I think YOU have the wrong idea, but I”LL have another slice of cake.” I grabbed the knife with one hand and the plate of cake with the other.

Grabbing my shoulders firmly in hopes of getting me to listen, “It’s not what you think! I swear! The number that was calling me-”

Ceasing my maniacal episode, I spoke up “Funny you should mention numbers.” Looking him straight in the eyes, I recited out loud, “ 10-5-19-19-9-3-1’. I watched as panic danced rapidly across his face.

I leaned in closely to his ear and lightly decoded the password, “J-E-S-S-I-C-A”. I returned back to my seat comfortably, and pushed his hands off my shoulders with one last remark for him, “Maybe you should call her over so she can have a slice of cake, it is Saturday after all.”