Red is the color of love

Hi!

This must seem weird, I know. What’s this guy trying to do here? Who does he think he is? What’s he trying to prove? Where’s he trying to get to and why?

I know! Trust me, I know! All I can say is: bear with me. Give me the benefit of the doubt, just listen to what I have to say and if by the end you won’t be convinced… Well, by then it’ll be the end.

So?! What do you say? Just nod, it’s not like anyone can see you or judge you. I surely can’t, but, if you think about it for a second. If you do interact with me, even at the basest of levels, this will seem less like a raving lunatics monologue and more like a proper dialogue. Who knows, maybe it’ll even seen like I’m reading your mind. Wouldn’t that be something?

Just imagine! How many times did you actually wish for someone to read your mind? Well, not literally read your mind, that would get really weird, really fast. No, to be able to interpret your mind, to be able to look at you and in a glimpse, see in every corner of your being. To accept and understand and to love. Yes! To love! Because it always boils down to just that, to be loved.

Now, this is why we’re here. So, I can prove to you that I can love you. Not the storybook love that everyone sells for five bucks a pop at every corner store. The miracle love that comes in all shapes and sizes, but when you actually take it home and try it on, it’s never really just right.

No! I mean real, conditional love. Conditioned by life, conditioned by being, conditioned by breath and heartbeat. And all you have to do… is listen.

Good!

Now let me start by introducing myself: I… am God!

I’m not saying I’m The God. No! I am a God. A teensy-weensy little God, but a God nonetheless. Here, let me prove it to you: the voice you hear, it’s not really my voice. I made this voice especially for you. I read your soul and tailored my voice, so it would be exactly what you want to hear, how you want to hear it.

Still don’t believe me? Fine!

Let’s play a bit with my godly powers. Now. Up until now we’ve been sitting in total darkness. Let’s break down these walls and let some light shine through in our little universe. Can you see me?!

I know, I’m still a bit blurry but try to focus a bit. Do you see me now? Am I perfect?! I am, aren’t I? I’m just the way you need to see me right now. Heh!

As long as we have light, let’s look around for a bit and get acquainted with our little universe here. How do you like that chair you’re sitting in? Is it comfortable enough? See, I made it just the way you like it, not too high and not too low. I find comfort to be extremely important in life, if we’re not comfortable with ourselves, we’re not comfortable with our environment. If we’re not comfortable with our environment, we’re not comfortable with love, with welcoming love. If we don’t let love in, we’ll never feel it. And as I said before, that’s the point, right?!

How do you like the flowers I’ve planted for you? I made sure they were your favorite colors. I hope they’re not too much. I wouldn’t like to scare you before we got a chance to actually know each other.

Now. I saw you scoff when I said that I was God. Why was that? What is God, in the end, if not a channel for love? The paint that shows the picture, the ink that inscribes the meaning. What is ink without a pen, then? Well, that’s where you come in. If I am God, then you are God’s instrument. Think about that, for a second. What power would I have in our little universe here, if not for you to help me lay it all down? I am nothing without you.

I… am nothing, without you!

Do you understand, now, why I designed to have you here with me? Do you understand why I was forced to go all out in this endeavor of mine just to get five minutes with you? Just so I could have you listen to me. So that I could prove to you just how important you are to me and how important I could become to you.

Together! Together… we create life… we create love. Together, we are perfect. Only together. Never apart. Without you, I have no life. I am just words in the wind. Without you, I am empty.

Ok!

Now that we’ve gotten this far, I would like to return to the reason why we’re here. Love! To be specific, the love I could offer you. What is love? We both know the fairytale version of love. We meet each other, we fall in love, we live happily, we die happily, the end. But is it true? Does that kind of love actually exist? Maybe, maybe not. I, for one, only know of it in cartoons and those are more like: we meet each other, we fall in love, queue the credits.

In my experience, it’s more like this: we meet each other, we’re skeptical about each other, we both have our own interests, we find that some of those interests align, we fall in love with the opportunity of not being alone, we sometimes live happily, if we’re lucky we die happily.

Do you agree?!

Of course, you don’t. You’re not a cynic like me. But let me tell you a story.

Let’s take individual J. Come on, help me out here! Let’s work together on this! You give him a face and I’ll give him a backstory. Let’s say… J is a child of divorce. J’s father beat on J’s mother and, in response, J’s mother harbored all of her resentment against J’s father and used it to shape J into her refuge. J’s purpose was to become a friend, be a savior. Through J’s life, J’s mother would know the happiness she never experienced herself. J’s father, on the other hand, would feel neglected and forgotten by J, he would not call or visit J and would show resentment, every time he could. J would learn to associate love with sacrifice, passion or the complete absence of it and, most importantly, never to associate love with selflove. Why? Because J never felt it, love was either a tool or a punishment.

Ok, let’s have J meet M., just like before, you draw the face, I create the backstory. M’s story is different. M’s parents were boring and predictable, but dedicated, they led an uneventful life, they had an uneventful, but happy marriage and so, M had an uneventful, but happy childhood. M grew up with an itch of wanting more and subconsciously desired the extraordinary.

Are you following me so far? Good!

Both M and J went through several relationships. Sometimes, they would settle for less and sometimes they would over-reach, in the end, by chance, they would meet each other. M would be the rock that J had always desired while J would be the wave that would rock M’s world. Months would pass, they would find happiness, but slowly and surely, who they are, who they were taught to be, would surface. J would know love through sacrifice and expect love to be proved through it, while M would understand a cozy love full of the banal. Resentment would grow on both sides and even though both would be what the other had always desired, they would also be the opposite of love as they were taught.

Think about it for a second. If M would just ask J for understanding, for patience to catch up in terms of passion. If J would learn to trust M, to take M’s relaxation not as a sign of disinterest but as a sign of fulfillment. Slowly but surely, wholeness would envelope them. We are taught that love is instant, it happens or it doesn’t. False!

We love what helps us settle in who we are. If we are taught that we do not matter, we love someone that makes us feel as if we don’t. If we are taught to be abused, we will love someone who abuses us. If we are taught to be spoiled, we will love someone who spoils us no matter what that costs us. And if we, at one point, learn that we do matter or, on the other hand, we learn that we want to be abused, we will find someone new to love us in a new fashion.

Now, do you know how you want to be loved?

Because… I do! I have reached into your mind and soul and have seen what makes you tick, what makes you whole, not what you think it does. What actually does. I am here to say to you: I love you! I am here to learn beside you, grow beside you, love beside you. And I can do so that you will never feel the absence of love ever again.

What do you say? Are you ready to be loved by me?

Are you ready to feel purity as you’ve never experienced before?

Wait, let me remove your gag. There! So, what do you say? Can I love you as you need to be loved? Come on, don’t be scared! Tell me.

'Yyyes!'

Good!