THE COLD

Chapter 1 : FORGIVE ME

I’m laying down on my back, opening my eyes to the dark reminisce of space.

It’s cold.

I’m wet, and it’s dark. I look around to see what I imagine the abyss would look like. I don’t like this at all, and I really need to wake up.

“Wake up!!”

Please, I need to wake up. I’m trying, but this doesn’t seem to be a dream.

I lift my hand swiftly and slap my face with all my force. My hand makes contact with my skin it burns, and now my face feels hot. I feel heat, I feel pain.

“Does that mean I’m not… asleep? How could I possibly have felt pain?”

I stand up to explore my surroundings. There is water all over the floor, up to my ankles. My socks are soaked in water that feels ice cold, my feet are numb.

“Where am I? Hello? Anyone here?” I shout, cupping my hands around my mouth to extend the sound.

An echo. That’s all there is, hearing my own voice come right back to me.

“HELP!” i try again.

Nothing. Not a whisper. The silence is so loud, it’s piercing right through my brain. I know I’m awake, but I somehow still feel asleep. Am I?

“HEY! HOW DID YOU GET HERE? You shouldn’t be here… LEAVE!!”

I hear a voice, but it’s weird it sounds neither male nor female. It’s like a mixture of a bunch of different voices. Very unusual.

“HELLO! IS SOMEONE THERE? HELP ME!!” I plea with the random voice.

“What part of ‘leave’ do you not understand?” it asks, toan uncertain.

“I… I’m sorry. But I don’t know where I am or how to leave. I don’t even know how I got here.”

“is that so?” it says, feeling slightly mischievous like.

“Yeah… it is,” I say, confused.

“Ah, I see". It concedes. "Sorry kid, this will hurt.”

“What? What will hur- Aghhh!”

I feel a sudden aching sensation in my chest, like there’s a fire blazing, desperate for oxygen.

“What the hell, man! What are you doing to me? Please, just let me go! I don’t know what I did, but I’m sorry!”

I let out a gut-wrenching scream. My face twitches, the intense agony only growing worse. Then all of a sudden

“SNAP.”

I’M AWAKE! “That felt so real.”

My body is covered in beads of sweat. My heart is racing like I just ran a mile, my breathing heavy. What the heck just happened? I feel like I just did a full body workout. I scan my room out of habit, when the silver clock on my wall catches my eye. Crap! I’m going to be late!

I jump out of bed and rush into the shower. The water is so cold what the heck is going on? I get out, brush my teeth, and proceed to get ready for the day.

“SON, ARE YOU READY?”

I’m standing at the sink brushing my teeth when I hear my mom yelling from across the hall. I spit quickly so I can answer her.

“YEAH, MOM! GIVE ME ONE MINUTE!”

I rush as fast as I can, throw on my black jacket, and I’m ready.

I walk outside to the car and open the door to see Mom waiting in the driver’s seat.

“Jason May, what took you so long? Did you stay up all night reading again and wake up late? You know better. I love that you love reading I think that’s great,” she laughs. “But if we’re late, I’m blaming you.”

“You need to make a schedule and stick to it.”

“I know, Mom, you tell me every day. But it’s not like you couldn’t wake me up yourself. So if we’re late, it’ll actually be your fault,” I chuckle.

“Um, actually, I tried. You wouldn’t budge, so I let you have twenty extra minutes. You’re the one who took advantage of my kindness,” she says with a smirk.

“Whatever.” I roll my eyes playfully. “But I listened this time, Mom. It’s just… something really weird happened. It was so strange.”

“Strange how? What happened?”

“I was dreaming something really vivid. It felt so real, and I couldn’t wake up.”

“Oh really? I love vivid dreams, why are you complaining?!”

“Me too, usually. But this was different, Mom. I felt trapped in there. There was something so scary about it.”

“Well, you’re up now, so fret not. I’ll protect you,” she chuckles.

“Mom, why is it so cold in here?”

“Umm… because it’s February, duh.”

“Ha ha ha, very funny. I mean, why isn’t the heater on?”

“It is on, what are you talking about?”

“It’s on? But it’s still so cold in here.”

“I turned the heater on when I first got up this morning that was about an hour ago. Which I’m starting to regret, because I’m actually hot. How are you cold? You need to eat more, get some more energy.”

“I don’t think it works like that, Mom.” We laugh.

“Sure it does… Honey, you know we’re going to see your younger brother and sister. I need you to be on your best behavior. I know you have problems with your father, but your siblings are just innocent children. Be nice, okay?”

“You don’t have to tell me that, Mom. I have no problems with the twins. Just as long as he doesn’t try anything with you or me, everything will be fine.” She smiles at me through the rearview mirror.

We’re driving down the road, turning onto the street where my so-called father lives.

“We’re here…”

Yeah, what a shame.

“Hey! Be cool, I’m serious. Be nice.”

“I know, Mom. I’m just joking.”

I get out of the car and walk toward my father’s house. The place is huge three stories tall, brown on the outside, with a grey and blue theme inside. Everything looks so expensive. I don’t like being here, strictly out of fear I’ll break something. My dad would expect an apology and move on, but Mom would definitely make me pay for it. And I’m not trying to spend any money.

We enter the house. “Yep, I still hate it,” I say as Mom rolls her eyes at me.

“Jess, you’re here! I’m so glad you could make it,” my father says, leaning in to hug her. “Jason! Son, how have you been?”

He waits for a response, but I don’t say anything. I see the look he and Mom share, and then she looks at me. I can tell she wants me to respond. I really don’t want to say anything to him… but I promised I’d try.

“Hi, Dave. You have a beautiful home. Where’s your wife?” I say condescendingly.

“She’s not here. She’s at the market, grabbing a few things for the twins.”

An awkward silence washes over us. “Oh speaking of the twins, where are they?”

“They’re in the backyard playing by the bonfire. Why don’t you go see them?”

I don’t often agree with him, but there’s a first time for everything.

“Chel, Marcus! Happy birthday! How are you guys?”

They run to me. “Big brother, you’re here! We missed you,” Chel says.

“Oh really? Marcus, did you miss me as well?”

“Yes, I did!”

I let out a big smile. “Well, that’s good, because I missed you guys too. And if you didn’t miss me, you wouldn’t be getting the gifts I brought for you guys !”

A huge smile lights up their faces. “Come on, give your favorite brother a big hug!”

It’s been a few hours. Adeline, Mom, and Dad are in the house I guess talking about God knows what.

“Jason! Will you play with us?”

“Umm… hold on, give me a moment. I’ll join you guys later.”

“Okay!!”

It’s so cold out here, and I’m feeling colder by the second. I wrap my arms around myself, trying to generate some warmth. I yell across the yard to the kids:

“HEY! ARE YOU GUYS COLD? ANYBODY WANT TO GO INSIDE?”

“I’M NOT COLD YET!” Chel says.

“YEAH, IT FEELS GOOD. ACTUALLY, I’M KINDA HOT,” Marcus adds.

I’m shocked. They’re not cold? They’re hot? What are these kids made of?

I walk to the fire to try and warm up at this point, I’m shivering. But even as I stand by the flames, I feel no different. In fact, I feel worse. What the heck is going on? I don’t feel any heat.

I lean closer, but still nothing. Slowly, I lift my hand and place it over the fire… nothing. I rotate my hand, staring in horror as my skin turns red.

I snap out of it and yank my hand back from the flames. Panic kicks in, and I rush inside, only to be greeted by Dad.

“Hey Jason, look I know you have your problems with me. And you have every right to. I’m sorry for what I did to you and your mom. I can only ask for your forgiveness… but I’m sorry, I really am. …Hey, are you okay?”

NO, I’M NOT OKAY! I’m freaking out. I just touched fire for an extended period of time and felt nothing! What is going on with me? That’s what I want to say, but my mouth won’t open. I can’t for some reason.

“Hey, Jason. Hello? Snap out of it! JESSICA! ADELINE! GET IN HERE!!”

I can’t really hear what he’s saying, but he sounds panicked. All of a sudden, I see my mom and stepmom rushing in. What’s happening to me? I try to speak, but nothing comes out.

“What’s going on with him, Dave? What happened? Honey? Hon! What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know what happened he was just like that.”

“Dave, he’s shaking! And his lips are blue!”

“Okay, calm down. Adeline, call 911. Quick!”

“Okay!!”

“He has a fever and he’s shivering. Dave, what’s happening?”

I really can’t talk… Am I going to die? Is this how I go surrounded by family? What will my mom do without me? She’ll be a mess. And my stepmom… I’ll miss her too. Even Dave.

But I can’t die. I’m only seventeen. I still have so much more to do.

The voices around me are fading out. The lights are dimming as I feel myself drift away. My fingers tingle. My legs go numb.

Where am I? Did I really die?

Again, I find myself in the same abyss-like place I was in this morning.

“Why are you here again? How do you keep getting in here? Humans shouldn’t have access to this place.”

“Oh really? And what is this place? Am I in hell?”

“HELL?”

The voices laugh in my face.

“Something funny? Who even are you? I heard you in my dream this morning. You could at least show yourself.”

“Show myself? How funny. I have no so-called ‘SELF.’ I have no physical form, child. I’m not one who can be real. As far as you’re concerned, I do not exist.”

“Yeah, except you do exist, or else who am I talking to?”

“You’re a smart one, aren’t you? Well, if you must know… I am you.”

“…You’re me? What do you mean?” “ I..is this real or not?”

“That’s enough introduction. You need to wake up now or you may never.”

“Wait! What do you mean you’re me? I want to know, tell me!”

And SNAP.

I’m up.

“Jason, you’re okay!”

I wake up to find myself in a hospital. I’m wearing a gown, and the room looks like a typical patient’s room. A plastic bracelet with my name is strapped to my wrist, an IV embedded in my arm. Bandages wrap around my hand.

I’m still so cold. What the heck happened? My mind is racing.

I look to my left. My mom and Dad sit next to me.

“Mom… what happened?”

“Don’t talk. Let me get a doctor.”

Dave rushes off to grab one, while my mom just stares at me.

“Mom, what’s wrong?”

She looks so tired. Dark circles sag under her eyes. They’re red I can tell she’s been crying.

“Mom… how long have I been asleep?”

She doesn’t answer. Tears well up in her eyes. She wipes them quickly, then leans in and hugs me. She squeezes too tight, but I don’t dare say anything. When she lets go, I look her over. She’s wearing a baby blue short-sleeved shirt and brown khakis-dressed too lightly for this cold weather.

“Mom… speak to me. What happened?”

All of a sudden, the door opens. A man in a long white coat steps in.

“Jason, you’ve made it back to the land of the living. I’m Doctor Bolm. How do you feel?”

“I feel fine, Doctor… just a bit confused.”

“That’s one hundred percent normal. I’ll explain in just a moment, but first, let me do a few minor tests on you.”

“Sure…”

“I’m going to squeeze your hands and feet. Tell me if you can feel them.”

He grabs my hand, then my foot, then my legs, giving each a firm squeeze.

“Yeah, I feel fine.”

“Okay, now open your eyes wide.”

He pulls out a small flashlight and shines it into my eyes.

“Hi Jason, can you tell me your full name, age, and your birthday?”

“My name is Jason May. I’m seventeen, and my birthday is February first,” I said carefully, my voice still scratchy.

“Good,” the doctor nodded. “Now, any pain? Tingling? Numbness?”

“ Just a little bit of tingling in my fingers.”

“ its okay that’s normal your muscles are slightly atrophied ,but Your reactions look decent. I’m going to listen to your heart, then a nurse will check your vitals and take you for another MRI.”

“Wait-what? MRI?” My pulse spiked. “Someone explain what’s going on!”

The doctor’s expression softened. “Jason, on February sixth, you were rushed here after collapsing. You had a seizure, a fever of 106.4, and second-degree burns on your hand. You were too weak to fight, so we put you in a medically induced coma. For two days, you were on life support. We didn’t know if you’d make it.”

My mouth went dry. “How long… have I been here?”

“Three weeks.”

“Three weeks?” My gaze shot to Mom. Her eyes glistened as she gave a small, confirming nod.

The doctor continued, “We ran every test. All negative. We even tested for drugs-”

“Drugs?” I cut in, shaking my head. “No. I’ve never done anything like that.”

He studied me, then nodded. “I believe you. Truth is… we don’t know what caused it. But somehow, you pulled through. You’ll need follow-ups, but as far as I can see, you’re fine. If nothing changes, you can leave in forty-eight hours.”

When he left, the room shrank down to just me, Mom, and Dad. Mom rushed in for another hug, sobbing into my shoulder. I squeezed her tight.

“Why are you apologizing?” she whispered when I said sorry. “I’m just happy you’re alive.”

Over her shoulder, I saw Dad in the corner. His eyes were red, as if he’d been crying. I swallowed hard.

“Mom… can you give us a minute?”

She hesitated, then kissed my forehead. “Of course, sweetheart.” She slipped out, leaving me and Dad in the silence.

I turned to him. My voice trembled. “Dad, I’m sorry. I’ve been so rude to you. When you left Mom for another woman… I felt abandoned. Like you chose them over us. I thought I lost you. But I didn’t I gained two siblings, another mom. I was too selfish to see that. I’m sorry.”

His lips parted, and for the first time in years, his voice cracked. “No, Jason. I failed you. I let you push me away. I gave up trying. That was my punishment. But all it did was break us more.” He wiped his eyes. “I didn’t cheat on your mother. I swear. I fell in love with Adeline, and I asked for a divorce. I wasn’t thinking about how it would crush you. I thought I wanted more for myself, but I wasn’t thinking of you. And for that… I’m sorry. I’ve always loved you. Both you and your mom.”

He reached out his hands, an invitation.

I froze. I couldn’t even remember the last time we hugged six years ago, when I was ten. My chest ached as I stepped forward. And when I finally wrapped my arms around him, I realized how much I missed it. How much I missed him.

I clung to him, harder than I thought I could, afraid to ever let go again.