Sound and Vision

I am not as good as you, because I am mortal and you were divine . Were. Speaking of you in past tense makes me weep. In the hardest of times, I had you. You made sitting alone less bearable, you were my friend when no one was. But now...

But never mind that. What matters is that in order to repay you, I will continue your legacy. I will be a singer, but not like me, like you.

But this has proved difficult. You were beautiful, your body was like a Greek god. My body is dumpy and ungainly. You were unearthly in your presence, and when you called yourself an alien everyone believed you. I can’t even believe myself. Your voice was so weird. So different. So divine. My voice is nowhere so transfixing.

But maybe if I acted like you I could be good enough. I try playing guitar, writing songs like you like you and singing like you. I try dancing like you. So far it has fallen flat, and I hate myself for it, but I’m sure I’ll get there. I don’t look back. I stand tall and act fine, all for you. I am sure that one day I will be worthy enough to preform.

I try so so hard, and I wait for some sort of inspiration my room. I am in the process of trying and waiting when my housemate walks in.

“Go our with us, you’re by yourself too much.”

Is she right? I follow because I haven’t eaten anything all day.

I put on my coat and go to the pub with her. It is crowded, dreadfully so. I long to retreat back to my room, back to where things are warm and familiar.

”It’s karaoke night,” My friend tells me. “You should sing something.”

Should I.....?

I know that its what you would do, and I want to make you proud. So despite the fact I feel awkward and unworthy, I fo up.

I look at the songs that I can choose from. One of them is “Moonage Daydream”. I am unworthy, but I select it. I open my mouth, and sing. And suddenly, I have made proud. I don’t sing like you, and I don’t dance like you. I sing like me. But I make you proud.

And when they clap, I know, I can be your legacy. I can also be myself. I was always worthy, I had only to do things my way.