Never Like This

“Not like this,” she thinks to herself as she prepares for her wedding, “never like this.”.

She has dreamed of this day since she was a little girl. Back then, people were married for love, or so her romantic heart firmly believed. Most probably were.

No one, well, almost no one, saw this coming. A reduction in population was so severe that the governments around the world took over. 

It started small. Posters and advertising encouraging childbirth. The  abortion centers, those that remained, were closed. A good thing. It did start out that way.

Her government gave incentives for each child born. Still, the population kept falling. Her graduating class was only twenty -five. It became a crisis.

It wasn't that people didn't want to have children. It was that most couldn't. Years of preservatives and pesticides have taken their toil. All types of thought safe meditation was found to cause sterility. Vaccines as well.

Important people got together and tried to figure out what to do. That is when the mass testing began. She was in highschool when her blood was drawn. One of the lucky ones, she is found to be fertile.

“So, there is nothing to do but match those that are able to conceive with others that likewise can,” the president says from behind his podium. She watches with her mom and dad, unaware that her life is about to change forever, “every fertile young person shall be matched with another in their 19th year. I know this goes against our cherished freedom. To keep our nation, this world, alive, it must be done.”

She looks to her parents, who stare wide eyed at the screen. She can taste the metallic fear that floods her mouth. 

“Does this mean? It does, doesn't it? I will be…” Running to the toilet, she is sick. Tears mingle with the sour sick on her lips. Her mom comes in.

“Darling.” Her arms feel safe, like home. The smell of the honey vanilla from her hair is soothing. As is the way she is rocked, back and forth like she was as a baby.

“Kelly, he isn't… He told me after the tests. Oh mama!” She weeps helplessly against her. She rocks harder, unable to heal her broken heart.

“I won't do it! I will run away. We can run away together.” His hand is sweaty in hers. They met up the day after that awful announcement. Grief hangs heavy around them. The smell of the roses that line the park brings to mind a funeral.

“Amy, you can't. There is nowhere to go. This is everywhere.”

“The woods. We can go deep in them. Hide away. Grow a garden and hunt.” Her eyes flash and he knows she has never looked so beautiful. He also knows that this is the last time he will see her.

“I love you. Remember that. I love you but you must marry someone you can have children with,” She starts to jerk her hands away and he tightens his grip, “I hate it. This is bigger than us. It is a way to save the world.”

“Screw the world!” 

His smile doesn't reach his eyes. “That we could. You know I am right.” 

She looks away, out over the park. It should be full of children and their parents. One lone child is being pushed on the swing set. She sighs and turns back. He is the love of her life. She has dreamed of marrying him for years. Now she knows she never will.

“You are,” her eyes fill with tears, “it isn't fair.”

“No, it isn't.” He kisses her, tasting her tears before he stands and walks away. It will be the last time she sees him.

She is protected. Taken out of school to finish at home, a teacher and nurse come by daily. One to educate and one to make sure she is healthy. 

A regiment of special vitamins are started. Everything she eats is approved by the government. She swallows the vitamins and her grief every morning. Eats the super healthy foods and her disappointment with every meal. 

A year later, he is presented to her. They see each other.

“I am Daniel.” She takes his offered hand with no enthusiasm. His grip is strong. 

“Amy. I love Kelly but he…” a sigh that comes from her soul, “so, we are to be wed.”

“Amy,” he says with extreme tenderness, “mine is Jane. I understand.” 

It helps that understanding. They have a month to get to know each other. Days sitting on couches and porches, walking around, shopping and talking. Nights talking under the stars, laying beside each other to get used to the feeling.

“Did you and Jane?” She asks one night, three weeks in. She rests against his chest, the sound of his heart under her head.

“No, we discussed it. It would have been too painful,” a harsh laugh, “more painful. You and Kelly?”

She shakes her head and her hair tickles his nose. “Same.” 

They both sigh. 

“It will be alright. The act, I mean. I have read the material they provided.”

She laughs. Unable to stop, she goes into hysteria as he stares at her. After a few choking gasps, she is calm enough to talk. 

“Sorry. It is just the idea,” another giggle escapes, “of the government explaining how to,” her laughter builds again, “do something humans have been doing forever.”

They both laugh helplessly. It helps that laughter. 

A week later 

Her mom adjusts the veil. “You are beautiful. I know this isn't how you planned this. Daniel is a good man.”

“Yes, just not the one,” A quick shake of her head, “sorry. You're right. I am sure there will be marriages of people that don't get along at all. Even hate each other. For what it is, I am blessed.”

“You are.”

Her dad comes in. He takes her arm. They walk down the aisle. She manages a smile for her groom. Their guests include the representative from the government. He watches carefully as she says, “I do.”