Betrayed?

                                    Betrayed?

Word count 1516

Sandra Wheatley 26^th July 2020

sandrawheatley@live.co.uk

The sun shone onto her blonde silky hair, making it look as if she had a halo, an Angel sent from heaven. I always believed that Angels were very special kind being’s after all they were sent from God’s heavenly palace, weren’t they?

What she was doing at that specific time, twenty minutes before I was due to say, I DO, to the most amazing man I had ever known, did not seem at all heavenly to me.

Their lips were so closely locked together that I could not determine which lips were his and which lips were the Angel’s.

He had his arm around her waist, and I heard her gasp as he pulled her towards him even tighter in a masculine gesture of strength and ownership that he did so very well.

The Angel lifted her hand and began stroking John’s neck. He moaned without releasing his lips and this noise coming from deep within his throat, fascinated me. How on earth did he do that without releasing his lips from hers? I had never heard that sound from him before, did he ever make it when he was kissing me? My mind struggled to remember, but it was hazy and I felt as if I was going to faint. It was so hard to remember at this specific moment, why was it so hard, why couldn’t I remember?

My Mother was everything I thought a woman should be, she was much more than an Angel to me, she was more to me than life itself. My Angel mother was kind, loving, thoughtful and oh my goodness how everybody loved her, even apparently did my perfect future husband.

Mother certainly was spreading the love around today, and it all seemed to be going in john’s direction.

I chuckled, it was the sort of chuckle that you make when you shouldn’t. You know the one? when you see someone fall over or someone breaks wind in church, that kind of chuckle. It wasn’t really a humorous chuckle, more of a nervous chuckle, but a chuckle nevertheless.

It was as if the chuckle was coming out of someone else’s mouth, it took me completely by surprise and I wondered in that moment if the two lover’s so passionately ensconced in each other's arms had actually heard me. Strangely neither of them did,  they only had ears, eyes, arms and lips for each other in that moment of heady passion.

My mother was a beautiful woman, there was no doubt about that, she had been single for a very long time, ever since my father walked out on her for a woman with half of my Mothers looks and absolutely none of her brains. This had always been a total mystery to me and I know my mother had suffered a crisis of identity when she first laid eye’s on my fathers oh so dreary new love interest. My Mother had looked her up and down and I could see the absolute bewilderment in her eyes.

‘’Really, Peter, are you serious’’

Peter had just smiled and driven away with Miss dreary looking at him as if he was the only man left on planet earth. Maybe that was the secret, adore your man, tell him how wonderful he is, even if he isn’t, look at him with adoration and hang on his every word.

Maybe that is all it takes to make a man like my father fall in love. What a strange world, how confusing love, lust and desire can be?

That had been twenty years ago and mother had never been interested in any other man. Some had come calling that is for sure, but mother was unimpressed, always.

Until today, twenty minutes before my marriage to the love of my life.

John and I had met in the most ridiculous of circumstances. I was crossing the road on a particularly windy day and John was coming the other way, just as we met in the middle of the road a gust of wind pushed me towards him and I fell unceremoniously into his arms.

We stood there for what seemed like an eternity our eyes were glued to each other, a bit like his lips were glued to the Angels today. We both laughed as he released me from his wonderful masculine hold and steered me towards the path.

‘’I think we had better have coffee’’

Without waiting for my reply, he once again got hold of my elbow and steered me into the nearby coffee shop. That day was so clearly etched on my mind that I often thought about it as I idly went about my day.

It had been four years ago and every time I recalled it, I could bring back the feeling, the smells and the atmosphere of that wonderful day when John had fallen into my life and changed it forever.

I remember that my mother had not been so impressed with him when I finally introduced them to each other.

‘’He doesn’t have a job, Emily, what are you thinking?’’

‘’Mum, he is looking for a job and has been shortlisted for two, give him a break, we are not all perfect you know, even though you think we should be’’

I was almost shouting at her, to get my message across. Why couldn’t she see in him what I could see? What was wrong with her?

Little did I know that she obviously thought a lot more of him than she had let on. Or did her desire for him grow over the years, I guess I will never know the answer to that one.

John did eventually get a very good job, he loved working for the bank and he was soon promoted which enabled us to save our money for the day that we both dreamed about, our wedding day.

We had an absolutely gorgeous starter home waiting for us and we talked often into the early hours, about how we would decorate our beautiful new home and how amazing it would be to wake up with each other every morning for the rest of our lives.

How could I have known back then that one day, on this day of all day’s that I would stand here watching them lips, body, mind’s so closely entwined with one another’s? Moaning and gasping with ecstasy and complete unadulterated pleasure and delight.

A familiar pain seemed to be crushing my chest. I struggled to breathe and I could feel the sweat starting to run down my back.

Shall I shout, shall I cry, do I run up and hit them both, or, run away?

The ground underneath me began to move and John and his Angel began to look as if they were fading. I tried with all my might to hold on, wanting to watch them, not wanting to watch them.

Wanting to go and not wanting to go all at the same moment.

Then the familiar voices began in my head, they were calling me, calling my name and just for one brief moment I felt confused, bewildered and so sick that I wondered how the contents of my stomach were staying in their place.

Just as John and his Angel broke their loving embrace, their kiss of love and promise and began to walk away it all flooded back to me.

Two years ago today I had experienced the same feelings as today. On that day, dressed in my gorgeous embellished wedding dress with its ten-foot train, and as I travelled in the white Rolls Royce toward’s the love of my life, I had slumped into the soft leather seat’s with a pain that I had never experience before. I had a massive heart attack and at that moment I had left my body and as described by some people, I had died.

There were no symptoms, no warnings, nothing to alert me, john or my Angel Mother that I would die twenty minutes before my marriage to my lovely John.

Looking at the scene today had given me sadness and comfort both at the same time. Sadness that I really had lost my life and my love. Comfort in that the two people who meant the whole world to me had found so much comfort with each other.

I had been given the chance to come back to earth just one more time, to see for myself that my two best people had been able to move on at last, and that grief was not the first thing they felt every morning.

I am back in my rightful place now. I can’t see John and his Angel any  more, but now I can rest peacefully. Now I can move on, as they have been able to do and for that, I am so grateful.

Please don’t judge them, I haven’t. Let them live their lives comforting each other, God Bless you, John and Angel, one day we will all be together again.

The End