Ghosts of the Past

The wind blew softly, like a comforting breeze as I stared out at the endless horizons that lay before me. A vast space of landscape beckoned to me, and I knew my journey had only just begun. 

However, I also knew that the next step I took meant the beginning next and final chapter of my life. I turned back and looked at my companion, Rose. Being childhood friends, Rose was always around. She had a calming presence and a sweet but very fragile heart. She had only come on this journey because she meant to watch over her closest friend, Iris. But, ever since Iris was captured by the reapers, Rose barely ever said a word to me. I knew it was because of something that had happened between us in the past that had ruined our relationship.

After that day, we never really were the same around each other.

I looked behind me at the horizons, then turned to Rose again. She knew as well as I did that after this, the real journey would begin. And, I decided, I didn’t want us to continue on like this, with our somber looks and awkward glances towards each other.

Maybe, after all these years, it was finally time to talk things over and make things right.

Rose moved toward me and said, “Well, we better get moving.” She stepped past me and prepared her gear to climb down the mountainside. I gritted my teeth, nervously thinking about what might happen.

Rose was about to cimb down when I shouted, “Wait!” She paused what she was doing and turned around, eyes sparkling. “I’m sorry, okay?” I said, “I’m sorry for what happened to us before. But we can’t just pretend like nothing happened and go on like this!”

Rose nodded. “I’m sorry, too, Ang,” she said sorrowfully. “I shouldn’t have been so blind to your emotions back then.”

“Let’s talk about what happened,” I said finally, and Rose came toward me. 

“Yes,” she said, “let’s do that.”

By now, you’re probably wondering what did happen between the two of us, and I guess it’s time that we tell you. When we were both eleven years old, Rose’s parents paid a visit to the old seer in the town. They walked up to the wisened man and asked him about their daughter’s prospects. 

The seer stroked his beard thoughtfully and then looked into the future. He foretold that Rose was destined for an amazing future. She was supposed to do great things for the world. However, I wasn’t. I was normal; no destiny, no future whatsoever. I know it’s pathetic, but I was jealous of Rose.

After Rose was discovered to have powerful abilities, she engaged in special wizarding classes while the rest of us were stuck with fractions. She barely ever said a word to me, and I never got the chance to talk to her about her magic. 

My mother always seemed so proud of Rose, and all she would do is talk about her special gifts to her friends. I hate to admit it, but I felt a little jealous of all the attention Rose was getting. Why couldn’t I have been the one to receive special powers and an amazing destiny? It just didn’t seem fair to me. I pondered the question, wondering why some people were just born with a fantastic and extraordinary future, and others, like me, just weren’t. 

One afternoon, after I’d heard just about enough of my mother’s praise for Rose, I was walking home from school with my math test in hand. I knew I was going to be punished, since I had received a 70% on it, and my mother wasn’t exactly the forgiving type. She had high expectations for me, and if I failed to meet those expectations she might as well have killed me.

Still, I drudged on the concrete path, nervous and feeling deflated for my terrible grade. In fact, I was so nervous I paused for a moment in front of the door to brace myself for the disappointment before walking into the house. My mother greeted me with a hug and noticed the paper in my hands.

“What’s that?” she asked, nodding toward the test. 

I gulped. “It- It’s my math test. We just got it back.” My mother nodded and snatched the paper up, abruptly changing from friendly to a solemnity that I’ve only ever seen when she’s either looking at my grades or beating a venomous snake to death.

“Oh,” she said in response to my answer. “Then you better have gotten a good grade, I hope.” She examined the paper, and when she eyed the score I’d gotten, she grew silent and cold. An air of disapproval arose around my mother, and she narrowed her eyes, breathing hard. She fought to keep her voice steady as she remarked, “A 70, huh?” 

I gulped again and nodded. “...Yes, a seventy percent.”

My mother lost her cool and turned infuriated. “A 70?!” she exclaimed. “Why didn’t you get an A, Ang?” she inquired, her voice as sharp as a dagger.

“I- uh…” I thought for a minute and settled on, “Math is hard.”

“Why can’t you do better in school, Ang? Why can’t you be more like Rose?”

I groaned, and when I spoke this time, my voice was low and deep, radiating pure venom. “I’m sick and tired of Rose, Mom!” I shouted. “Why is everything about Rose now? Why can’t you just be proud of me instead of always blabbering about her? She’s not that special!”

“ANG!!” my mother shouted, aghast. “What are you saying? Rose is your friend!”

“Rose hasn’t even talked to me since she got all her oh-so-special powers!”

My mother was steaming. “Just stop, Ang! Go to your room, all right?” She pointed up to my room. I grumbled.

“FINE! Maybe I’ll have a break from your constant mooning over Rose!”

“Go, Ang!” my mother shouted indignantly.

I stomped up to my room.

The next afternoon, I came home thinking about Rose’s special magic courses. I wished that I could learn magic, too, but apparently I’m not allowed to, since I don’t have any destiny or whatever. Just then, a thought occurred to me. Maybe I didn’t need to take the course. Rose had books on wizarding- maybe I could just take a quick peek at one of them and try it out. That wouldn’t be so bad, would it?

A couple of horse later, after dark, I initiated my plan to look at one of Rose’s books. I snuck into the small shed behind her house that she had had built for her magic studies. I figured that would be where her books were. So, I slipped inside the shed and checked to see that no one was watching me. Then, I proceeded to loom over the table by the door, spotting one of her textbooks labeled Wizarding for Beginners and picked it up. It was huge and very heavy, so I couldn’t take it off the desk. I opened up its dusty pages and began reading.

It was getting late, I could tell, when the door to the shed creaked open and I jumped, startled at the sudden noise. In came Rose, and when she saw me her eyes widened. Rose’s next words were barely above a whisper. “Ang?” she said quietly. “What are you doing here…?”

“I- it’s not what it looks like!” I cried, anxious.

“Just leave, okay, Ang?” Rose shouted. The pain in her voice was clear- our friendship was ruined for good. “Get away from my books! Are you trying to steal them or something?”

I ran out of there, my eyes welling up with tears. I closed my eyes to stop the waterworks from coming on.

I stared out at the slopes again, my eyes getting watery as Rose and I thought back to the past. “I’m sorry, Rose,” I said for the tenth time today. “I was just so jealous-”

“No, that’s okay, Ang,” she said. “I understand. I never wanted to be treated like I was so special, either. And I should’ve given you a chance to explain yourself that night.”

I nodded.

“Sorry,” we both said at the same time. Rose’s face turned red.

“Can we- can we hug it out?” she asked timidly. I smiled warmly and nodded. For the first time in eight years, we wrapped our arms around each other and settled in a warm embrace, remembering both the past and the present, as well as the future that was to come. Maybe we couldn’t make up for all the time we’ve missed, but maybe we can slowly build back our bridge and become good friends again.

I’m glad we talked it out, because, honestly, neither of us really ever wanted to go on like that, both of us silently hiding our pain towards each other. Now, I thought, I can finally feel… complete again. 

That day, I learned that in order to move forward in life, we sometimes need to take a moment to look back and reflect on our pasts as well.