Starry Memories

Staring at the stars is so soothing. If you look close enough and are really relaxed, you are able to get out of this world and not even move! It is the most amazing feeling in the world, because you are able to leave stress and anxiety. One of the best ways to look at the stars and away from all the noise is just either go camping or drive to a spot that is away from the big cities. That is what I ended up doing. Just kept on driving until I was able to get away from the city and the lights and most importantly the noise. The only noise I was hearing was the waves moving and the nice clear air. I drove to a beach and got out of my car, sat laid on the roof of my car and just stared at the stars.

It was amazing because even though I was stressed out with life, one thought came to mind as why I am doing what I am doing; my kids. My kids are the most amazing things that happened to me. They helped me realize what real life is about. What it means to be a truly unique person. What it means to fight for what you believe in. If you can fight for what you believe in you can fight for your children. 

I was laying on my car and I just pictured my three kids as happy as they can be. Hearing their laughter, picturing them running around playing. They all run up to me when I come home from work. The most favorite memory is just creating more memories with them. They are still young, but they are slowly learning why her parents do what they do. 

Looking back I can picture the very first day of giving birth to my eldest daughter. Even though I was in a lot of pain from the labor, I was even more excited because I was one step closer to meeting her. The moment I saw her, I started crying and just repeated, “I am your mommy!” with tears flowing down my cheeks. She was crying at first, but the moment she heard my voice, she stopped! It was like I had the magic touch already. I spent more endless nights with her than I did with my other two. Every second was completely worth it. At moments it was extremely hard other times, I was like, “I got this!” We all have our days when we just need to breathe and step away for a second. I was able to be there for every single one of her firsts! Parents always want to be there no matter what. 

With my second child, I remember that my fiance's mother left the room and not even thirty seconds later I had him. He no longer wanted to wait to be in this world. He came when he was ready. Of course, that is how every child is like. When we were showing my eldest brother, she first thought he was still in my stomach and ignored the baby. The moment we let her know that he was the baby she was even more excited! The moment we were all home, she started getting into his things and we could tell that she was a little jealous. We were well aware that would happen so we were prepared to give her as much attention as she wanted. As she was getting used to him and she was getting the same amount of attention, she jumped in and wanted help out! Anything that needed to be done she was all for it. 

Not even a year later my youngest came. I no longer wanted to be in the hospital anymore. I wanted to get out of there as fast as I could. She was the tiniest baby I have ever seen and she was mine. I was told that the more babies you have the heavier the babies become. I was so ready for her to be bigger or around the same weight as the other two, but she was actually tinier than my first. 

Each and every time she cried, I could not help but laugh. I know it sounds mean, but I just could not stop laughing because she had a squeak whenever she cried. It was the most adorable thing I have ever seen. Everyone was excited to see all three of my kids just as much as my fiance and I. Speaking of my fiance, I am very grateful that I have him. The moment I found I was pregnant with my first I thought he would leave. I heard a lot of scary stories of the guy leaving the girl the moment they find out they will be a father. However, he has been there every step of the way. There have been over a thousand memories with my little family and am sure that we will be making trillions more. Yes, I just said trillions, hundreds is not even close to how many memories that will be made. 

Every time one of them is crying, I just hold them and let them know that they always have my shoulder to cry on. Sometimes with my eldest she cries for no reason. Half the time we are trying to figure out why she is crying. It is the most confusing thing that I have ever seen! Since she is my kid though, I can tell when she is fake crying. Once she knows that I know she is faking, she acts like nothing ever happened! At that point, I am even more confused than ever! 

The memories are going through my mind one by one and they slowly disappear. I am still laying on my car staring at the stars having a huge smile on my face. Coming to realize to never give up on my dreams or what I believe in. If I keep going, I will be able to accomplish my dreams. I worked real hard to get a book published at eighteen years old. If I can do that, I can do anything. That is what I want to teach my kids, that they can do anything they put their minds to. Still staring at the stars and smiling I think to myself, “Never let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game”.