The Claire-Whirlwind

Submitted into Contest #93 in response to: Write your story about two characters tidying up after a party.... view prompt

2 comments

Drama Fiction Suspense

Claire storms out of the apartment, her steps hard and her strides long. Her face is scrunched as she throws her coat over her arms, grabs the floppy handle of her handbag, and hangs her face mask strap over one ear. She tugs at the door to open it and it doesn’t give in as easily as she thought it would, on her second harder pull, it opens. The door is not even open wide enough for her body to get through and somehow, she disappears through the opening and storms towards the elevator. The door shuts abruptly behind her and there is only silence in the apartment. Melissa and Jade, still inside the apartment stare at the door, they only break the stare and turn their gaze towards one another once they hear the “ting” of the elevator outside the apartment. Melissa and Jade look at one another absolutely shocked at what had just happened. Melissa broke the silence and said, “was it something I said?” she immediately burst into laughter and threw her empty plastic cup onto the floor.

Jade, sitting shocked at what had just happened quickly tries to disconnect her cellphone from the speaker and says, “we should call her to apologize”. Melissa calmly picks up the plastic cups from the floor, walks to the foil letter balloons that hung across the living room wall and started untying the ribbon that held up the banner of letters “I really thought it was going to go well, but obviously she was not ready”. The banner of letter balloons floated down and what started as a “Thirty and Flirty” party ended in a “Thirty and Furious” party.


Melissa grabbed a black plastic bag and started rolling up the streamers that were laying on the floor, the empty Moet champagne bottles clanged against each other in the rubbish bag, her beautiful Brazilian blow-waved, chestnut brown hair bouncing around her face as she bends over to pick up the tray of macarons that had fallen over in the Claire-whirlwind. In a huff she says, “we are just trying to spoil her on her birthday, it is not our fault she is not where she wants to be in her life at the age of 30.” She turns around and aggressively pops all the letter balloons with a knife, violently shoving them into the rubbish bag, she continues to rant “I mean, you and I have amazing jobs, and you have a baby and you still make an effort to arrange this amazing party. She can’t even stand that we are successful!”

Jade manages to grab the knife from Melissa and calmly speaks some reason into her “I don’t think that was the issue, Melissa,” the room so calm now “I think she is in a difficult place in her life”. Melissa closes the rubbish bag, opens up a new one and picks up the small cards which were printed with “I am thirty and thankful for…” she walks over to the dining room table which has a beautiful bouquet of flowers and miserably says “must I throw this arrangement away? Maybe I can use them at our monthly strategy meeting tomorrow”. Jade stands up and storms across to the dining table, grabs the thankful cards and loudly shouts at Melissa “are you serious? You are going to completely ignore what you said?” holding the thankful cards up and waving them in Melissa’s face.


Melissa took a step back and dismissively brushed her hands through her thick brown hair, as the hairs bounced back down around her face, her olive skin looking warm and glamourous from the subtle lighting of the fairy lights on the table “I don’t accept any responsibility for what I said, it was the honest truth and Claire knew that Gordon and I were together!”. Jade walked to the other side of the room and switched on the main light, the romantic and intimate mood instantly broken (well, what was left of it), the cold, white light made the entire situation a whole lot more harsh. Jade’s warm blonde curls were now reflecting her natural strawberry undertone because of the unforgiving white light. Jade's face is so warm and gentle, with a wild natural beauty. She doesn’t need to try hard to look beautiful, just a touch of mascara and she is ready to go. As she walks, her natural tight curl in her hair bounces up and down, the naturally calmer friend got enraged and stormed back toward Melissa “do you seriously think that this was the time or place to tell Claire that you are engaged to Gordon? You know she has been struggling with the idea of turning thirty with no man, a job she cannot stand and 8kgs heavier than she was last year!”

Melissa dropped the rubbish bag, shook her head from side to side to flick her hair behind her shoulders and folded her arms making sure that her left hand was on top to show off her 1.5ct diamond ring with rose gold band. Jade continued to explain the series of events to Melissa that led up to this moment “you wrote on your thankful card that you are getting married to Gordon and then proceeded to take your ring out to show her. They have only been broken up for 2-years now, you know it has been difficult to accept your relationship! And yet, you still have the audacity to announce it like that? I cannot believe it!”


Melissa absolutely dismissing Jade once again and reinforcing the fact that Claire knew that this was bound to happen “Gordon needed someone who was going to be on his level, Claire was pulling him back and him and I are incredibly successful together. In the 5-years they were together, he was always pushing for more, and they were stagnating. He is better with me and honestly, I believe that there is someone else that will be better for Claire. I cannot put my life on hold to keep Claire comfortable!”. As she finished her rant, she threw the last of the party streamers into the rubbish bag.


An hour had passed since Claire had left the party, her face mask over her mouth but was under her thick scarf she wrapped around her shoulders and half her face to protect her from the cold wind. She was walking towards a front door, her arms folded with her handbag hooked onto one elbow. Her beige coat was knee-length and she wore it to cover her body because of the weight she had gained. Her straight blonde hair was tucked into her scarf and half escaping around her neck, she looked messy but still beautiful in a naturally-thrown-together-chic sort of way. She had exquisite style and always looked so confident in her strides, but obviously she was not feeling that way in this moment. She approached the front door which had a very bright yellow light above the doorbell, her blonde hair looking extra yellow because of the light. The door opens and she immediately pulls of her face mask and removes her scarf from around her face “why her? Why so soon? Why didn’t you warn me?” tears were close, but she was still holding it together.

Gordon immediately knew what she was talking about and stepped forward with his arms open in a warm and comforting way, even though his house was modern and cold, the marble tiles and monochrome furniture behind him made him seem like a cold and very “rigid” person, but when it came to Claire he immediately became a young, fun-loving varsity boy. He walked towards her and whispered “oh my Claire-bear, I will always love you.” before she could realize, he had pulled her into his embrace and she cried but also felt immense comfort from the embrace that she knew all too well. “I always thought we could try again, but now she has a ring, and this means we can never have another chance.”

Gordon held her tighter and whispered words she could absolutely not believe: “I have a plan, this is not the end for us, I’m sorry I had to disappoint you but Melissa is a bad person and I need to make sure she pays for all she has done.”

Claire immediately pulled away, her eyes as wide as a deer in headlights. Stunned, silent, staring and hoping for some sort of clarity. Gordon just smirked and rubbed her shoulder and in the most sinister way said, “don’t overthink it, everyone ends up getting what they deserve.” Melissa tried to pull away and grab her phone to call Melissa, Gordon’s grip tightened and with a force he pulled her in closer again. Calmly he took her hair and said “Melissa doesn’t care about you as much as I do, she cannot be in your life anymore, her family is wealthy, I can set us up for a wonderful future that you deserve.” His voice remaining so calm and affirming. Claire standing cold, like a statue and forgetting to breathe. Gordon in one swift motion closed the door behind her and locked it with her still inside the house. 

May 11, 2021 10:47

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2 comments

Rochelle Smith
06:03 May 12, 2021

Nicola! Congratulations on your first submission! Loved reading your story, totally did not see the end coming. What a twist!

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08:38 May 12, 2021

Thank you Roch 😊

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