The Purple Scourge

Colette, Calisto’s seventeen-year-old apprentice, straddles Mazie, Castle Hogue’s prize pig.

“Hold her steady,” the young magician says, waving a bowl in front of Mazie. Grunting, the oversized pig licks at the contents of the bowl.

“All right, release her.”

Colette steps away from Mazie, giggling as the pig wanders drunkenly around her pen.

“Looks like your potion packs a punch,” the attractive brunette says.

“The question is, will it work?”

Mazie suddenly nosedives into the mud, dead.

“Well, we know it kills,” Calisto says.

The pair stand over Mazie, waiting to see what, if anything, happens next.

“Are you sure this is going to work?” Colette asks. “She looks permanently dead to me.”

“That’s why I tried it on Mazie instead of you. Besides, if Mazie is really dead, we can still have bacon.”

Mazie exhales raggedly, beginning to stir.

Calisto winks at Colette.

Mazie jumps to her feet, hyperventilating.

“Maybe we should stand back,” Calisto cautions.

“Maybe we should run!” Colette replies, moving away.

Mazie squeals, her body shaking violently from side to side.

With one last piercing squeal, Mazie explodes.

Colette looks down at her white peasant blouse, which is now covered with blood and guts. “Looks like our bacon is already cooked.”

From the wall overlooking the pen, King Hamish Hogue yells, “It will be if you fail to come up with my potion!”

The miniature-sized monarch with a grey beard nearly as long as his body points his staff at Calisto.

“All I asked for was a potion to make our men immortal in battle, not a flying pig! This is your fourth attempt. You are not at all like your father. He was a competent sorcerer. It is a shame he retired to the Island of Souls to be with his fellow elder magicians. Our enemies draw near, Calisto. They are two, possibly three days away and all you have come up with is a new way to cook pork!”

Calisto bows, his ill-fitting wizard’s hat, something else he inherited from his illustrious father, drops into the mud.

“We will work day and night, your grace. I promise you we will succeed.”

“If you do not, you will lead us into battle… as a human shield.”

Holding a flagon, Colette asks, “Are you sure this is safe?”

“Of course.”

“Then why have you got your fingers crossed?”

A pair of rats battle in the corner of Calisto’s workshop.

“Why not test it out one of them?”

“They are too small,” Calisto answers, “and we don’t have the time. Drink up.”

Colette looks down at the bubbling brew. Crossing herself, she picks up the flagon, draining its contents.

Colette coughs, gasping for air, commenting hoarsely, “Not to complain, Calisto, but this batch is way too spicy.”

“Soldiers have strong stomachs, but I’ll take note and use fewer hot peppers.”

Colette suddenly clutches at her throat, her dark eyes glazing over as they bulge in their sockets.

“…Water!... Water!”

Calisto rushes to a nearby table, pouring a cup of water from a pitcher. He turns to give the cup to Colette, who disappears.

“Well, that’s progress… Colette! Colette, where are you?”

Calisto feels a tap on his shoulder. He turns around but no one is there.

“Colette?”

Calisto jumps when something kicks him in the seat of his pants.

Colette slowly reappears in front of him.

Grabbing the cup from his hand, she downs it.

“My potion works!” Calisto says happily.

“It does not!”

Rushing to the table, Colette grabs the pitcher of water, downing it.

“In the first place, it sucked all the water out of me. Secondly, I am not sure I was dead. I think I was sent somewhere else.”

“Where?”

“I do not know. But there were horses in the streets made of metal, with wheels instead of hooves. The women wore short dresses, shoes with pointed heels, and most of the men wore the same clothes and carried cases with handles. And there were lights, flashing colored lights, above this large building with a sign that read, ‘Now playing, Midnight Cowboy, starring Jon Voight and Dustin Hoffman.’”

Calisto cocks a finely trimmed eyebrow at her. “Perhaps you traveled through time.”

Colette drains the pitcher, muttering, “…I want a raise!” before she disappears again.

Covering his backside, Calisto looks around the room.

Moments later, Colette walks through the door.

“Where were you this time?”

“In a boat… I was wearing a heavy coat and a funny round hat. The people sitting in front of me were all looking at this white and black serpent, perhaps it was another much larger boat. It made a horrible creaking sound as it slowly lifted itself straight up in the air, then it broke apart, plunging into the water.”

Colette covers her ears. “It was dark. All I could hear were the screams and the pleading of people freezing to death in the water.”

Calisto, Colette, King Hamish, and several of his guards stand in front of the graves of Prince Benedictine and Princess Anisette.

“I am not certain this is a good idea, your majesty,” Calisto says.

“Do you doubt my authority?”

“No, sire, just your judgment.”

King Hamish’s placid eyes go dark. “There are dozens of other, more experienced magicians and witches in the kingdom, Calisto.”

“No disrespect intended your majesty. I only want to point out that there may be… Side effects.”

“…Yes, like time travel…” Colette says to herself.

Calisto pokes her in the ribs.

“Three armies intent on overthrowing me are practically at our gates. That means your head could end up on a pike next to mine if your potion does not work. Proceed.”

Calisto snaps his fingers. Colette hands him a small bottle. Removing the stopper, Calisto pours half of its contents over each grave, chanting in an ancient tongue.

White smoke rises from the manicured dirt, enveloping the graves.

A female form begins to take shape in front of them.

King Hamish embraces his daughter. “Anisette!”

“But how is this possible?” Princess Anisette asks.

“Magic, my love, magic.”

Princess Anisette appears as she did in life, wearing a green-gold trimmed gown, her blue eyes bright with energy, her auburn hair cascading down her back.

“…Thirsty…” she says.

“Water!” King Hamish commands.

“Better bring a bucket full,” Colette says to the departing guard.

Princess Anisette gasps. “This cannot be. I know I am dead.”

“Yes, your chambermaid poisoned you. Your cousin, Princess Diana, was behind the plot. She wanted to move up on the line of succession.”

“Now that I am whole again, that sniveling boot-licker will pay for her treachery.”

“She has, Anisette. Diana is no longer in line for the throne. She was, however, first in line at the guillotine.”

The guard returns with a bucket of water.

Standing on his toes, the undersized monarch looks up at the massive guard screaming, “Where is the cup, idiot?”

“No need.” Princess Anisette says. Lifting the bucket, she guzzles most of the water, daintily wiping the excess from her lips with the back of her hand.

The earth covering Prince Benedictine’s grave stirs. A skeletal hand breaks through the earth. The skeleton of Prince Benedictine pulls itself out of his grave, his rotting royal burial robe hanging loosely from his bony shoulders.

“What is this, Calisto? Why is my son like this?”

“I warned you that the potion is not yet perfected, your grace.”

“Who has summoned me from my sleep?” Prince Benedictine asks.

“Your loving father. Your king.”

The skeleton of Prince Benedictine looks at King Hamish and Princess Anisette with empty eyes, sighing.

“We need you to lead our army against the combined forces of the north, east, and west.”

“Leave me alone. Did I not serve with distinction already? Did I not give enough?”

“Yes, my son. Your death was heroic, glorious. We have dedicated statues in your honor. Our people have written songs about how you defeated Queen Clothos and her barbarian hordes. But now we need you to defeat an enemy three times that size. If you do not, the House of Hogue will surely fall.

“If that is our destiny, so be it. You should accept your fate,” Prince Benedictine rasps. “I have.”

“We need you, my brother,” Princess Anisette adds.

Prince Benedictine looks down at his bony hands. “Like this? What good am I to you like this? Let me rest in peace. Let me be with my wife and children.”

King Hamish’s voice softens. “Please, son.”

“I will not pervert the laws of life and death,” Prince Benedictine says.

His skeleton collapses, sinking into the rich brown earth.

Princess Anisette takes a drink from the bucket. “I will lead the army.”

“Nonsense.”

“Women have led armies. Have you forgotten Queen Clothos?”

“She lost,” King Hamish replies bluntly. He turns to Calisto. “I will let you keep your head because you have brought my beloved daughter back to me. But you still need to make my soldiers immortal, and we need a leader.”

“What about Emerson Palmer, the Captain of the guards?” Colette asks.

King Hamish smirks. “He is an excellent fighter, but too emotional to lead.”

“Sir Garland Granville?” Princess Anisette suggests.

“You have been gone a long time, my dear. Sir Granville passed away two years ago… I have an idea, Calisto. Since you were successful in bringing back my daughter, why not resurrect the most accomplished soldier this kingdom ever had? I want you to resurrect Sir Lorek Lansing Lozorko.”

“The Purple Scourge?” Calisto twitters nervously. “Yes, he was born to fight and led us to victory in two wars. But he was an admitted sadist who loved impaling innocent children and women. He beheaded his first wife for making fun of the color of his skin and snapped the neck of his second wife for offering him cold soup. He was so vicious, he was betrayed and killed by his own men.”

“All of which makes him the perfect choice for leading an immortal army that will wipe our enemies from the earth.”

“You mean immoral army,” Colette mutters.

Calisto covers Colette’s mouth with his hand. “You are my king. I will do as you ask but please be aware that Sir Lorek may react badly to the potion. Perhaps he will become a madman…”

“He has proven he already is.”

“According to history, one of the reasons his men turned on the Purple Scourge was because he had designs on being king,” Calisto says. “If that is the case, he may still feel the same way.”

The chains surrounding Lozorko’s mausoleum are removed. Entering the black marble structure, the guards push aside the heavy stone lid covering his coffin.

Colette pours the potion over Lozorko’s coffin as Calisto chants. Calisto notices her hand is shaking.

Purple smoke rises from the coffin. It quickly envelopes the room, forcing everyone outside.

“We may have used too much of the potion to bring him back,” Calisto fears.

The mausoleum explodes, sending slabs of concrete flying past them. A small piece clips King Hamish on the side of his head, drawing blood.

When the violet-colored smoke clears, Sir Lorek Lansing Lozorko stands before them.

Colette swallows hard, reaching for Calisto’s protective hand.

“I thought it was a myth, but it’s true,” she whispers. “His skin really is purple, and he really is a giant.”

“Who has summoned me?” Lozorko asks, frowning, his voice a commanding growl.

The group stares up at Lozorko, who stands eight feet tall. His jet-black hair glistens, matching the venomous gleam in his eyes and the sharpness of his angular features.

“I summoned you, Sir Lorek,” King Hamish says, his voice quivering. “The armies of the east, west, and north have joined forces, intent on bringing down the House of Hogue. We need you to lead our army.”

Lozorko’s fierce stare dwells on each of them, particularly Princess Anisette.

“I will lead your army, but you must meet my price.”

Princess Anisette reaches out for King Hamish. “I implore you, father. The devil himself would hesitate to strike a bargain with this creature.”

Patting his daughter’s hand, King Hamish ignores her concern. “My magician has created a potion that will grant you and your men immortality. I will also pay you one million gold pieces, but you must pledge fealty to me and not try to rebel against me when we are victorious.”

Lozorko’s guttural laugh shakes the earth beneath their feet.

“You are like your grandfather, King Oric, quick to come to terms. I want two million gold pieces. You will also appoint me regent for the western territory.”

Princess Anisette pulls her father aside. “I may have been dead for the past five years, but when I was alive the west was our agricultural and trade center. You must not hand our most important and profitable territory over to this madman.”

“I have no choice.”

Princess Anisette looks at Lozorko, shaking when she sees his cruel stare bearing down on her.

Pointing at Princess Anisette, Lozorko says, “I also want her.”

“Father, no!”

Pointing at Colette, Lozorko adds, “And that one will service me.”

“The hell I will, you mauve monster!”

“Ah, spunk. I will enjoy irradicating it,” Lozorko says.

“I have a counteroffer, Sir Lorek,” King Hamish says. “Princess Anisette will spend six months of the year with me and six months by your side. I agree to your other terms.”

“Well, I certainly do not!” Colette protests. “I will carve my name in your lavender lap if you so much as come within three feet of me.”

“Quiet your apprentice, Calisto! The fate of the entire southland rests on your compliance, girl. We all must make sacrifices for our people.”

“I will never submit to that purple pervert!”

Lozorko strides forward, lifting Colette by her neck until they are at eye level. She squirms, gasping for air as he tightens his grip.

“When I was a boy, not much younger than you, our village was overrun by an army of Thesians. The Thesians do not take prisoners or captives. They murdered my father, and mother, and defiled my baby sisters before they slit their throats. One of them gutted me. I can still feel the cold steel of his knife running up my body. Thinking I was dead, they threw me into the contaminated pool where we dumped our garbage, raw sewage, and poisons. I stayed in that cesspool for two days while they ravaged our village, vowing I would never run or hide again. The poison in that pool turned my skin purple and turned me into a giant. I swore I would track down the men who destroyed my life and killed my family, and I did. Do not think because you are beautiful and have a sharp tongue that you can defy me. I enjoy seeing the look of fear in people’s eyes before I kill them. It is the same look you are wearing now.”

King Hamish, Princess Anisette, Calisto, and Colette stand at the castle wall watching the Purple Scourge lead his army of three thousand soldiers toward the enemy forces.

“Can he win?” Princess Anisette asks.

“The combined armies of our enemies number ten thousand or more,” King Hamish replies. “If he wins, I lose you. If he loses, I lose everything, including you. Forgive me for not caring. Are you certain the potion will work, Calisto?”

“Watch, your majesty.”

Lozorko’s army crosses the field, heading directly into the bulk of the enemy forces waiting to slaughter them.

Lozorko’s army fades, disappearing.

“They are not only immortal, your majesty, they have the ability to make themselves and their weapons invisible whenever they please.”

They watch in amazement as Lozorko’s invisible soldiers cut, slash, and hack their way through the enemy lines, leaving heads, limbs, and oceans of blood in their wake.

“Victory is certain,” King Hamish says, his voice tinged with sadness.

“Then the Purple Scourge will come to collect his fee,” Princess Anisette says. “Father, you cannot let it happen.”

“I gave Lozorko my word,” King Hamish laments. “I have to keep my end of the bargain.”

“He is immortal, can be invisible at will, and is the most ruthless man in history,” Colette says. “Do you really expect him to keep his word?”

“That is why I created a potion that only lasts for forty-eight hours,” Calisto replies. “Unfortunately for the Purple Scourge, the potion is also a slow-acting poison.”