Cherry Blossoms

Dr. Maria steps into the bland white room and begins to read the patient's chart. Patient had a minor heart attack and was brought to the hospital after her family members found her unconscious. She had a fair share of hospital visits due to a weak heart. Dr. Maria looks up from her chart and smiles at the patient. "Hello there, Miss-" Maria looked at the chart again and took a step back. "Miss Christa Zhang." A smile blooms on Maria's face as she looks at the familiar but older face of her high school sweetheart. "Hi there. You look really familiar, have we met before?" Maria's heart beat faster and her blood seems to rush a bit, "Yes, actually, we went to the same high school, Chrissy. Remember me?" The patient's face lit up as she grins from ear to ear, "Maria? Jesus, I almost didn't recognize you!" Christa opens up her arm and Maria hesitantly steps in and hugs her. "I can't believe it. You finally became what you wanted! I'm so happy for you." Christa squeezes Maria a bit tighter.

"You were like a ghost after graduation and then we lost touch and you moved away for college. I thought I would never see you again." Maria gave an awkward pat on Christa's back. She was never a fan of affections and never knew what to do when people were to hug her. "It has been too long. I sincerely apologize for cutting contacts, it's just been really busy lately." Maria said through a smile. "It's okay, I understand. It's just... wow, you're here!" Christa gave a small giggle as she pushed back her raven-black hair. Maria had always loved that hair, it seems so smooth, unlike her messy tangles that took hours to comb. The two finish catching up and hug again after Maria's pager went off. "We will get you examined and if the situation isn't that bad, we can discharge you." Maria said to her high school buddy. "Okay, thank you." The brunette waved at her as the door closed.

"High school sweetheart?" A small voice made Maria shiver a bit. "What-no. It's-she's just a friend." Maria stutters and pouts at her friend, Oliver. "But the way you look at her, it's more than an old friend." Oliver continued to tease. "Shut up, we need to keep it professional, this is not a playground." Maria scolds her junior but Oliver only shrugs and pokes her reddened face. "Whatever you say." But Maria knows that Oliver is right, but right now, Maria has to focus on her job.

After a long surgery, Maria slump onto a bench and stayed there. "Great job today, Dr. Lopez." A nurse said as he hands a cup of what seems like coffee to the sleep deprived doctor. "By the way, Patient 204 was asking about you." This made Maria snap back up, "Why? Is she okay?"

"She's fine. Maybe just concern about a friend. You do look very very sleep deprived." Maria scoffs and takes a sip of the coffee. "I'm leaving."

“Don’t scare the patient off, Maria.” The nurse snickers as Maria rolls her eyes.

After a series of turns and stairs, Maria finally arrived in room 204. “Hey there.” The honey voice travels through the room. Maria walked closer and took the chart off the wall, reading through the data and sitting down on the stool next to the bed. “It seems like everything is fine. You should be able to leave early in the morning.” 

  “That’s good.” Christa smiles and Maria swears she could melt right there. “So, what are you up to nowadays?” 

“Not much. I’m working in the fashion industry, got a divorce after my husband cheated, and now I’m here.” Christa smiles again but this time she masked the sadness. “I’m sorry about that.” 

“Don’t be, it wasn’t your fault. I mean, life is unpredictable and I should stay optimistic. I mean I still have a few decades in front of me, thankfully” A wave of silence fell over them as Christa fidgets with the wire attached to her fingers.

“Were you able to go to Japan throughout these years?” Maria asks to break the silence. When they were in high school, Christa had always told her about Japan and their beautiful cultures. From the cute animal cafés to the festivals, who wouldn’t want to go there. “No, unfortunately I have been too busy. But after getting this heart attack, I decided that after discharging I will book a flight there and take a small vacation. See the animals and the cherry blossoms.” 

“And let’s not forget the anime shops.” Maria added, earning a small chuckle from her friend. “Of course. Remember when we used to plan trips together? We still haven’t gone to any of them.” 

“We should, one day. Maybe this year I could convince my superiors to let me out for a week and we can go to Japan together.” 

“That would be amazing. We would need a spare suitcase because we would spend so much money on merches.” 

“And grab a camera to take pictures of the food.” 

“And the animals.” 

“And the houses.” The two look at each other and burst out laughing. “Then let’s talk more about this when I get discharged. You look too sleep deprived, and I don’t want to take anymore of your time.” Christa said, pointing at the dark circles. Maria’s face was warm again as she nods. "Don't be too hard on yourself." A warm hand cups Maria's face and Maria lean into it. This feeling was familiar, it was as if they had done this a million times. Though they had a relationship together, it quickly ended because of graduation.

Maria snaps open her eyes and stands up. The relationship had ended years ago and it would be selfish for her to hold onto those feelings. “Right, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Stupid Maria, she thought to herself. Christa must’ve already moved on and you should too. But something inside Maria wanted to stay in the blank white room and chat more. She wanted to hear Christa’s laughter again and joke around like they used to. But they’re adults now. They have their own jobs and life and Maria’s small dream with Christa should stay a dream. Maria looks back at the room again and sighs, that’s right, a dream is a dream. 

When Maria returned to the hospital, it was around eight in the morning. She has her usual coffee in her right hand and greets a few of her coworkers when she realizes something was wrong. An instinct to go to room 204. She took a few sips of coffee to wake herself more and to wash away the feeling. It lingered and didn’t go away as Maria went to the locker room and changed. It didn’t go away as Maria stepped out of the elevator. It only lessens as Maria quickens her pace and practically runs to room 204. It’s only to quiet down the noise and anxiety, she told herself, Christa is fine, the tests confirmed that she is fine and she should be discharged soon. But the gnawing feeling remains and it grew worse as Maria saw the doctors and nurses inside the room performing CPR. The heart monitor shows a flatline and Maria felt as if she couldn’t breath. The room was too small, the smell of Christa lingers and normally Maria would recognize the smell as home but now it was taunting her. If only she had arrived earlier. If only she had listened to her instinct and ran here. If only she hadn’t left Christa’s side yesterday. If only- 

“Drl Lopez!” A sharp voice and brutal force shake her back in the world. “Focus.” It was Oliver. But how could she focus? Christa wasn’t only her friend, she was something more. “Deep breath.” Oliver instructed and Maria followed. “Deep breath.” Oliver guided the paralized doctor out the room and sat her down. “Patient’s heart suddenly stopped ten minutes ago and the doctors had been performing CPR for the last five minutes. We’re doing everything we can to save her.” 

There it is, that line. Maria hated that line. Whenever she hears it, she feels more pessimistic than optimistic. It was something about the connotation and the delivery and the timing that made her hate that line. Even after years of medical practice, she had avoided using that line. “...died on April 24, 8:39.” A doctor from inside the room said, his voice was clear and calm, as if he had done this a thousand times. Maria didn’t doubt that he probably had, it is their profession and even though they had saved many lives, they had also been unable to do much for others. The doctors and nurses began to move out of the room and Maria still couldn’t move. “Dr. Lopez,” A soft hand landed on her shoulder, “This was addressed to you.” 

Maria gently took the letter and begin to read it as tears drip down her face. 

Dear Maria Lopez, 

It had been exactly twelve years since we last confessed to each other. I still remember that day clearly. You had a white hoodie and jeans on, you were holding a red rose and a sign. You asked me to go out to the Valentine’s Day dance and at that moment you made me feel alive. After that day I had the greatest times of my life, I held onto those memories and will hold onto them for the rest of my life. I know that you are busy and that you might not be even able to get a break. But I do want to go to Japan with you and I want to relive everything with you again. I haven’t stopped loving you and I probably never will, this might be why my marriage fell apart. 

I also remembered your face when we graduated. You looked so sad and I kissed you and told you that even though we would live far away from each other, we would still stay in touch. I'm sorry I broke that promise. I was afraid that you will find someone better than me and you will break my heart. We eventually fell out of touch and that is the one thing that I will always regret, not talking to you after so long.

I’ve always had the weakest heart so even if this heart attack was minor and I will not die from it, maybe next week will be my time. There's a small empty voice I heard, telling me that I don't have time so I guess this is my letter to you. I did try to stay positive and block out the voice but I can’t, so if I were to die suddenly, I want you to know that I have always loved you and always will. Travel the world for me. 

Lot of love, 

Chrissy

Maria breathed in the scent of the lake and the cherry blossoms. The whiteish pink petals were whisked out of the trees as a gust of wind blew. Three years had passed and Maria now looks over the lake and smile at the sky, "I've traveled, Chrissy."