The Hourly Healer

We had been debating for roughly an hour, I know because I missed an entire episode of “You” arguing with these fools.

“It’s the biggest party of the year, we have to go!” Julian exclaimed. I shook my head and tried to tune back into the television. I wasn’t really in the mood to go out.

 “I think this would be a good chance for you to get some fresh air and have a little fun.” Theo suggested. 

Julian hastily got out of his seat and growled, “Theo let’s dip. I’m not going to waste anymore of my time trying to get her out of her feelings. If you rot, you rot.”

“Watch your mouth, boy.” I snarled.

“No. You’ve been sappy for months. I can’t be around you much longer. I don’t know how many times I’ve had to tell you that you need to get over this little break-up.” Julian snapped. 

“Julian, calm the fuck down.” Theo belched. Julian rolled his eyes, plopped down on the couch and began to angrily scroll down his Instagram feed.

Theo continued, “now I know Julian’s delivery may be off, but his message is on point. You can’t loathe in here forever. You’re going to drive yourself crazy.” 

I looked down into my lap. They were both right. But break-ups are hard. Guys are able to shrug off a heartbreak within a week, but it takes months for a sensitive female of my caliber to get over these types of things. That’s why I stay away from love. My heart really felt heavy. I didn’t enjoy much anymore. I only went to work, and I barely made it to class. I just wanted to curl up on my couch and watch Netflix. I could understand why my friends were concerned considering the fact that I was hooked on a show about a young man who happens to murder his girlfriends, but I don’t think a lame New Year’s party would be able to mend my crushed heart.

“I don’t know Theo.” I mumbled.

“Just think about it. You’ll be partying into a new year. You can leave that hurt behind you.” Theo cooed.

“If you go then we’ll leave you alone for at least a week.” Julian added.

“Just a week?” I asked.

“I mean if it were up to me, I’d leave you alone until you’re out of this depressed phase. I don’t like your energy. But we can’t leave you alone for too long I guess.” Julian wittily replied. Theo and I giggled. I unraveled myself from my blanket and got up from the couch.

“Both of you owe me a drink tonight.” I sighed. I saw both of their faces light up with excitement out of my peripheral. 

I took a short shower and salvaged through my wardrobe to find a decent outfit. I was still a bit hesitant about going out, but I didn’t want Julian to explode if I changed my mind. He probably only wants me to go out so I can be his wingman anyway. I finally settled on a laid-back ensemble, a black body suit with a pair of ripped jeans and some washed vans. Cliché and basic, I know. But I had no one to impress and already decided I would be spending majority of my time at the bar.

“Took you long enough.” Julian yawned as he stood up and stretched. I tossed him my keys and made my way to the door, Theo followed behind.

The car ride was a desperate attempt of the boys trying to get me pumped for this party, but I couldn’t find the energy to scream lyrics to a Drake song and dance just yet. The more the ride persisted I had started to feel like coming out was a bad idea. Maybe if I got a couple drinks in my system, I’d feel different. I just know that I never want to feel like this again.

Drained. Hurt. Lost. Confused. Frustrated. Betrayed. Empty. Damaged. Miserable. Distressed.

I wanted to know what I did wrong. I wanted to know why my feelings seemed to be the least of her concerns. I wanted to know why she wasn’t honest with me. I wanted to know if she loved me at the very least. 

I never got closure and maybe that’s what I needed to get over this thing. But I know that keeping distance between the two of us was best. I hated that we had to be strangers again. I couldn’t help but reminisce as I gazed out the window, passing some of our old hang-out spots. I started to feel dizzy. My heart dropped a little bit. I spent the remainder of the car ride looking at memes on Twitter to try and cheer up.

Once Julian parked the car, him and Theo spent about 5 minutes dolling themselves up. I couldn’t help but laugh. As we headed towards the entrance, we noticed a mutual friend waiting in line. 

“My boy Nico!” Julian exclaimed. The boys gave each other firm handshakes and I leaned in for a hug. They began to ramble about football, basketball and other topics that I didn’t care to give much input on at the moment. I just hoped that the night would go smooth.

We made our way into the club after a 15-minute wait. The party was pretty lively, and once we found our section, we adapted to the atmosphere quickly. 

“We got one hour until 2020! One hour until the New Year! I know one thing; you all better turn the fuck up!” The DJ screamed. The crowd went crazy. A combination of indistinctive enthusiastic screeches and “woos” surfaced the room. The energy was great. I didn’t feel as tense as before. I knew that a few rum and cokes would be the finishing touch, so I maneuvered through the ecstatic crowd and landed at the bar.

“Hey there! What can I get for you?” The bartender asked while wiping a spill on the counter.

“A rum and coke is fine.” I replied.

“Do you have a preference for rum?” The quirky bartender inquired.

“Bacardi.” I stated.

As she searched through her collection of rum, I couldn’t help but feel like someone was staring at me. I turned to my left to notice a woman batting her eyes at me from the end of the counter. Sparkling gold skin. Long, wavy, jet black hair. Full glossy lips. From what I could see she looked great. She was just my type. But the last thing I needed was a random hook-up. I was too vulnerable to get tangled up in any type of activities that involve connection and feelings. I quickly turned around and fiddled with my phone until the bartender slid me my drink.

I handed the bartender a crisp ten-dollar bill and proceeded to find my way back to the group. The boys were jumping up and down screaming along the words to a song by DaBaby. I couldn’t help but smile upon my return. I joined the huddle and screamed the lyrics along with them. We bounced and howled our way through a few more songs but that weird feeling of being watched swooped over me once again. I surveyed the dance floor to notice the same woman glaring at me from a nearby section. We made eye contact, but I broke it quickly. I hastily finished my drink and headed to the bar for a second round.

“Back for another?” The bartender asked. I nodded my head and gave her my old glass. As she handed me my fresh drink, a strong scent overpowered me. Something of delicacy, lightness, and sweetness. I turned to the direction of the scent to find the woman standing beside me. A bright rose tattoo graced her forearm. Dimples imprinted her rosy cheeks. Her dark brown eyes were mesmerizing. She looked even better up close and personal. I found myself at a loss for words.

She leaned in. “I’m Breanna.” She purred. 

“I’m Destiny, call me Des.” I replied.

She placed her hand on my lower back. As hot as it was in that club, the hairs on my arm stood up from her touch.

“Let’s go back to the dance floor.” She insisted as she tugged on my arm. 

A part of me wanted to stay at the bar and order another round, but the other half of me felt compelled to see what this woman was about. She hadn’t been eyeballing me in the club all night for no reason. So, I finished my drink, slid the bartender another ten-dollar bill, and grabbed her hand as she lead the way to the dance floor.

Everyone was bouncing. Some random rap banger was playing so I expected nothing less.

She turned around and started dancing on me. I heard my boys cheering me on from a couple of sections down. I laughed. Then the music was abruptly stopped.

“You guys have been turning up all night. We’re going to calm you all down a little bit until it’s time to turn back up. Fellas, grab somebody!” The DJ instructed.

Considering the fact that I hadn’t ate much prior to the club, those two rum and cokes were hitting me. The lights turned a crimson red and a slow 90’s jam graced the speakers. I smirked as I pulled Breanna closer to me. We waded back and forth, my hands on her hips, her hands wrapped around my neck. She kept laughing at the fact that I had two left feet. I didn’t care though. I felt good.

The noise around the two of us tuned out and it felt like it was just us on the dancefloor. The color of the room went from a deep red to a bright yellow. The smell of sweat dissipated and transitioned to something of fresh flowers and honey. Was this real or was I just drunk off my ass? Did Breanna slip something in my drink?

“Alright y’all. Now we have 10 seconds until the new year. The new DECADE! Count down with me y’all!” The DJ bellowed. 

As the crowd counted down in unison, I felt my spirit lighten with every number. My worries felt like they were gone. I couldn’t stop smiling. Breanna hugged me tighter as she screamed along with the amp crowd. Confetti fell from the ceiling as the crowd reached the number one.

“Happy New Year!” The club boasted.

Breanna kissed me. Gentle and sweet. My grin stretched from ear to ear.

Suddenly, she pulled away from me. I stared at her in confusion. She swiftly turned around and made her way to the exit.

“Breanna? Where are you going?” I demanded.

She acted as if she didn’t hear me and kept heading towards the exit, fighting her way through drunk party goers. I tried to push my way through the crowd to follow her, but I lost her. I gave up. I noticed Julian and Theo nearby, so I navigated my way towards them.

“How’d your night go pimp?” Julian teased.

“Yeah I saw you all over this chick. What happened?” Theo questioned. 

I disregarded the two of them and watched as the crowd trickled out of the club. Drunk people stumbling over their own feet, women watching previously recorded snapchat videos, men still excited and insisting that the night isn’t over yet. I noticed that everyone was leaving with a smile on their face, and maybe I should do the same. And that’s exactly what I did.

I wasn't angry. I wasn't upset. Everything that happened tonight, I needed.

Who would've thought the way I got closure was by getting ridiculously drunk on New Year's.

I guess going out wasn't a bad idea after all.