From liquor to Lord

As the drops of liquor from the sachet drenched my scalp and flowed around, I began licking them off my face. I had just devoured three such sachets. I was still thirsting for more.

Hard liquor, the sort which we can get in the public liquor depots dotted around my village seemed to be like honey to me. Every morning I waited patiently for the dealers to open their stores so that I can stock up and start drinking.

Oh how I fought to get some cash for my liquor. Literally snatched it up from my wife or my kids. Grabbing the little gold jewellery she had I ran to the pawn shop to get some hard cash. All the valuables in our homeland up at the pawn shop. My patient wife gave up. One morning I saw her hang herself with her saree. Our three children clung to me as they had no choice. I began to mistreat them too. Asked them to beg and borrow so they can give me cash.

All I could think of was liquor, liquor and more liquor. The more I drank, the more I wanted to drink. I wasn’t satisfied at all.

One of my cousins, Nathan begged me. “Dear Raj, at least look at your children they are motherless and are starving. Please get a hold of yourself and get a job. Start feeding them.” I wouldn’t hear him. He managed to get me a job as a janitor in a small institute. My job was to go open the place up and clean the floors. I would go occasionally. Sometimes they would come home to see why I haven’t arrived. And find me on the floor, obviously drunk and down. Being Christians they tolerated me.

One evening I was under a tree just wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. It was beginning to become dark and I was lulled to a sort of sleep I thought. Suddenly a figure appeared. In the looming darkness all around, this figure was shining brightly. I was astonished. He began to beckon to me, “Come, son. Follow me.” But before I could even realise what was happening to me, he would disappear. This happened a couple of times and I wanted to find out who this bloke was and why he wanted me to follow him. But I had no idea. I didn’t dare share it with anyone. Not that I had any friends to share with. All had left me abandoned, appalled at my insistence on drinking every day.

Meanwhile at my workplace there were a few Christians who began to pray for me. They would spend part of their lunch hour to pray specially for me. One of them, their leader was a good man, Jesse. He bought a Holy Bible in my native language. He gave it to me one day and said, “Raj, this is God’s Word. Try and read this. We are praying for you.”

Jesse went on, “The Saviour Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God can to this earth centuries back to save us all for our sins. He was crucified and died on the Roman cross. On the third day he rose again and appeared to his followers. Later he went up to heaven. He is alive today and we are his followers. We love you because He loved us.”

“Love me?” I blabbered, “ How can you love me such a down right addict?”

“Listen Raj, all of us on earth, every single one of us are sinners. There is no difference. Once we realise how sinful we are, we need to make an about turn from our sins, repent and come to the Lord Jesus Christ, our Saviour. Ask Him to help us out. He will come into our hearts and cause us to be changed from inside out. Then and only then can we be saved form our sins. This is what happened to us!”

“Really! Is it that simple? I do want to do that. I saw a being full of light in my dreams calling em to him too. I will go home and do what you said.” I replied.

Once at home I remembered the words of my mentor Jesse. I knelt down. With all my heart I abhorred myself and my sinful addiction to liquor. I wanted to kick it off once and for all. Can I do but? I wondered. Looking up to heaven, I fumbled to say, “ Dear Lord Jesus, I think you are the bright being who are beckoning to me. I come to you Lord, now I come. Please pardon e for all my sins and help me never to go back. Help me to make an about turn and go to follow you. I can’t help myself. Only you can help Lord.”

For once I had a blissful sleep and woke up fresh. My kids were astonished to see that I was not running to the liquor stores. With whatever little food we had I made a skimpy breakfast for them and went to work. Seeing a difference in me I suppose, they queried, “What happened to you Raj?”

“I am not sure myself Jesse,” I replied, “I prayed the prayer you asked me to last night and had a very blessed sleep. Peace and joy are in me now. I don’t feel the desire to go for drinking liquor now. It’s a miracle!” I shouted with joy. All my colleagues who were paradigm for me came and hugged me. They began to sing and praise God for listening to their prayers. My joy was unbounded. I joined them whole heartedly.

Days turned to weeks and months. I continued to have no desire to drink. As I read the Bible intently, the Lord began to speak to me. Sending my kids to school, I started to father them. Better late than never. They were thrilled to the core. Never expected their old man to change so drastically. They smiled a lot and hugged me! Not that I became a complete saint! I still had a hankering for an odd cigarette, now and then. But on the whole I was on the mend! Once liquor was my lord but now, the Lord shattered my fetters and made me free. Praise and thanks be to my Lord!