Close Encounter of the Man Kind

Close Encounters of the Man Kind

I spent nine years wandering in a desert. Searching. Always searching for a way out. Searching for a bright mountain I remembered from before. If by chance I stumbled on a promising route, something would happen; a subtle shift in the wind of fate or a tsunami of faith and that hopeful path would close itself off once again. I tried to convince myself everything was okay. I could survive and be fine exactly as I was. Go with the flow; drought or flood, hill or valley. Enjoy the variety. All challenges would make me a stronger woman; more self-assured, self-reliant and self-confident. Whenever I would start believing that survival was possible and within reach another dust storm would bury those expectations. Back to digging in the scorched, cracked earth begging for substance; back to praying for blessings to rain down from above. Back to yearning for the lost mountain.

Up on that mountain I had high hopes. Dreams were fulfilled. I was surrounded by love and security. The verdant pastures nourished my wants and my needs. Peaceful streams provided calm passage along the pitfalls of life. If obstacles arose I had someone by my side to overcome them by working together.

Unfortunately, the mountain ground was rocky and unstable. Through no fault of my own making that I can pinpoint I was suddenly cast down, brushed aside like so much rubbish, not worthy of a second thought. Expected to make my own way without any help; without so much as a guide book, or a map, or a solid education, or a means of making a living. Left with nothing but a wounded, bleeding heart and four small dependents.

Those four young dependents became my reason for brushing myself off and trying again instead of wallowing in self-pity and grief. Besides inadequate child support that took a while to become available the only 'income' I had was from our fitness center business that was more of a hobby than an income producer. Besides thinking of more ways to bring money in there I immediately started working as a waitress again. And I started looking for higher paying positions. I got a position in the mail room and was eventually moved to desk work at a publishing firm. Part-time, I sold cable TV door to door. All this time I kept applying and waiting for confirmation for a security job at an energy plant that paid decently. It took several months plus training for that to finally happen.

I spent five years guarding vital resources at that facility but then was laid off shortly after rising to the rank of sergeant. Knowing that profession was not what I wanted as my forever dream career I managed to go to school to become a massage therapist while I worked there. After being laid off it was do or die to make it in that business. Which I enjoyed for thirty more years. Along the way I was still searching for a meaningful encounter with a man kind to create a secure relationship.

But I kept encountering the desert. No decent prospects on the horizon. Sure there were men out there. Surprisingly, some were even eager to date me. Even more were willing and ready to hook-up with or without a solid commitment. In my search for an honest to goodness great relationship I admit I succumbed to temptation much too frequently. All my high noble standards be dashed.

Times maybe changed since I had last been single. In fact, during my high school years I was seldom without a steady boyfriend. I married my senior year sweetheart a year after we graduated. We had been what I thought was happily married for sixteen and a half years when he suddenly bailed out with another woman.

So, truthfully, this was my first experience navigating the dating pool. Guess I didn't know what to expect or how shallow it could be. I wanted to get to know someone better before I said yes to anything other than dinner. Most of them were expecting much quicker action.

Without fail it always seemed if I liked the gentleman at all, he wasn't truly interested in me. If he wanted more, I didn't. Suppose I broke a few hearts and I had mine crushed a time or two, also. One promising experiment lasted four years before he broke it off right before Christmas, after I spent more money for a gift than I should have. Think I would know something was off when that woman called wanting to know why I was answering his landline. Sometimes I'm dense.

As the song goes I was looking at too many faces in all the wrong places. I stepped back and asked myself what I really wanted. I came up with something I called a 'sensitive wild man'. Someone not too boring but still had a heart to make a woman feel like a woman. To think about her at least as much as he thought about himself. I felt I would know him when I found him. And I could take all the time I needed to make a wise choice. So, naturally, I found him when I stopped looking.

The first encounter happened when he came in as a client, the last appointment of the evening. He was new in town. There to work on a temporary work contract. Would only be there a few months. If a client wants to talk, I let them talk. He wanted to talk. Lonely. Trying to get over the breakup of his marriage. I probably shared I had gone through the same thing. Yeah, a no-no in this trade. I knew better than to cross that boundary.

Each time he came back he booked the last hour. He always liked to talk. I thought he was sensitive. Had been hurt bad. Against my own policy to date a client but I was considering introducing him to a friend from my church more his age. He was somewhat younger than me and clearly needed someone willing to share feelings. Besides, church could be a solace.

He definitely didn't strike me as my type anyway. He was a fun loving motorcycle enthusiast used to living in the fast lane; drinking, drugs and women I gathered from stories he would tell. His hair was down his back, at least as long as mine. Me? Well, I'm laid back and boring; never experimented with any drugs and wouldn't have more than one drink, if that, while out. I read, exercise or take walks in what little spare time I have.

The first time he asked if I would go share a late meal at a family restaurant after his appointment everything screamed 'no way'. But when I found out he rode his bicycle because his car broke down, I gave him a ride home way across town. I was going that way, too. None of this meant a date. I was only being a friend. I never felt he was expecting anything else. Fresh off a bad relationship, he didn't want to rebound into something new anyway.

Eventually I did go eat with him and we talked some more. He gave up all those bad habits some time before. Didn't even own a motorcycle anymore. He quit coming for massages so I wouldn't feel a conflict of interest. Instead we took walks, rode mountain bikes or sat in his newly acquired old limousine and talked. Never pressured for more. Even went to church with me.

Our organist was killed in a car accident and he shyly mentioned he could maybe play. He studied the accordion as a child and had played in a band as a teen. So he became our church organist. He also sang in the choir. It was years since he had gone to church. He did that for me. No more searching in the desert.

Long story short, for the second time in my life I did not have a sexual relationship with a man until the 'I dos' were spoken. Now, over 28 years later, he's still expressing his undying love for me in little ways every day and we still enjoy close encounters.