Jimmy

Back when I was in my twenties I knew this guy who when you looked at him, your first impression would of most likely been who the fuck was that guy. I met him through some friends of mine I used to hang with back in the day. He had a heart of gold and was as big as an ox and you could tell just from talking to him he obviously had some issues going on upstairs. Over the next few years we became good friends and he was the type of person where he would do any work he could find just to make ten bucks at the end of the day no matter how many hours it took. His name was James McKenna but everyone just called him Jimmy for short. He could lift a transmission from a car off the ground like he was picking up a paper weight, that's how strong this guy was. There were many nights we would be partying and we would always get him drunk off his ass or high as fuck off some weed if we had any on us at the time. One night we got so fucked up that I remember saying hey Jimmy, from now on everytime you talk to someone, at the end of the conversion I want you to say shoot a load. Obviously we all started busting up laughing because once he started saying it he could never stop. He would be on the phone with anybody whether it was family friends or even Drs and people from businesses. There were even nights where I would be sleeping over at there house and my other buddy would most likely be banging his wife and Jimmy would sit in the room where I was because usually i would sleep on the couch and we would be up later watching tv with my buddies daughter's, and he would just start laughing out of nowhere with this fucked up smile on his face and he would yell SHOOT A LOAD lol. It actually became such a habit that he continued to do this for years down the road and there were always some people who would take offense after he said it but nobody would ever fuck with him because of his size. Whatever job we happened to get at the time which was usually scrapping metal or landscaping we would always bring him with us just so he could earn his cash. He always would buy beer and cigarettes with his money everytime. He would get so drunk sometimes that he would piss himself while he slept so my buddy Matt would put down this plastic wrap on a mattress so he wouldn't soak the furniture. There was this place called Livingston Hills where my friend Matt ended up moving to that was at the beginning of his road going into the trailer park where he stayed. Every day if Jimmy got bored he would go for a walk around the park until eventually I got him a bike to ride around. Around that time I was working for a company called Xtra Mart that was down the road on route 9 in Clermont NY. I remember one day before I went to work Jimmy asked me as I was about to leave if he could use my bike for the day so he could ride around. At that time the brakes on my bike were almost completely shot so I told him to be very careful. About two hours after I got to work I got a phone call from one of my friends saying that Jimmy got hit by a truck at the light at bells pond in Livingston. I remember how they went on saying that he went to cross route 9 and that's when he got hit. I don't know if it was because of the brakes or not because usually most people cross a major highway on a bike while stopped at the light . I just remember that I was in such shock and awe and tears started coming up to my eyes and I hung up the phone because I didn't know what to say next. The rest of the day I heard the people as they came in the store talking about it and wishing they would just stop because I was hurting enough as it was. I tried going to his funeral but ended up going to the wrong place so I ended up missing it. To this day I hate myself for even letting him ride that bike and missing his funeral. Over the years iv learned to accept death as a part of life no matter how it comes. I just hope when it comes to me it will be as painless as possible. I hope there's a heaven and that I go there because let's be real, nobody wants to burn in hell. When I do I hope I see him there so I can tell him im sorry. Today nobody ever even speaks his name anymore like he's a lost memory so Jimmy I am writing this for you my friend. I just hope that when you stood at the pearly gates you didn't yell to St Peter to shoot a load. I don't think they would let you in at that point unless they also found it funny. You meet many interesting people in this life as you progress through time. Some are more stranger then others but each one usually earns a place in your memory or heart. Like I said in the beginning, this was a guy that most people would either be afraid to talk to because of his size and his looks because he always had this fucked up expression on his face. I like to believe he did make it in though and that people do watch down on us amongst the stars of heaven. I don't think he would deserve to go to hell because he did really have one of the biggest hearts I have ever seen in a person and would help anyone. Due to the fact that most people treat you like a memory, I am writing this story for you Jimmy. I hope I see you eventually buddy and remember to SHOOT A LOAD.