First Time Deserves Seconds

                    First time Deserves Seconds

         Some would say that a first encounter, especially of the romantic variety is something two people may never forget and is an experience they will remember, usually in the same way, most of the time. Naturally there is always the possibility that one will recall the dreamy event quite differently than the other in a certain way. Most of the participants would agree that this would usually add spice and a bit of excitement to the recollection. Each could talk about how he or she remembered and what parts were important, stimulating, or even surprising to oneself. Then they could compare notes, and perhaps, have a few laughs, not at each other, but at the progression of the meeting.

         Both Ted and Cindy had these similar thoughts and each was hesitant about how and when they would reveal these ideas to their date but both had the notion that they would let the meeting play out and if they wanted to disclose any emotional or somewhat startling thoughts, they would let it flow. Although Ted and Cindy never met, each seemed to express similar ideas on how they looked forward to the first date and how once they did meet, they might be a bit astounded, in a gentle, perhaps romantic way of course, on the demeanor of their date or perhaps the significance of where it took place. Each did not want to talk about this stimulating thought until their partner opened up the channels, but each would discover that the channels need not be open but rather just be ready mode for communication, for any slack by one would be picked up by the other, both supportive and inquiring.

         Ted was a mild-mannered, mostly temperate type of man who worked in an office as a clerk but would often fantasize that his work was of the more versatile type where he would procure and delineate information that would be used further up the levels of the company. He was often both passive and energetic about what he wanted his role to be but often he would contemplate how a potential date, not with a male friend to discuss a sports game, or a current event or recent movie, but a date with a lady who would listen, and become connected with, or at least pretend to become connected with, and how that particular meeting would display. He had heard about Cindy through a friend who he reasoned may not be a mutual friend of both Cindy and himself since the friend would not want to take responsibility for both of them. However, Ted only surmised how much the particular buddy knew about both of them or if there was any intentions beyond a friendly meeting, but Ted knew he was selected to arrange the date and he both moved and tense and would feel this in a better way after the date.       

         Cindy was a lively and assertive lady who worked part time at a law office and who also went to school with no precise goal in mind but she knew she had to follow the path somewhere and see where it led. She was informed through the same person but with also a little from a couple of others who knew both of them from various walks around town. Often Cindy might want to hear from more than one person about a future meeting but she knew that she was open enough to meet a person at a particular place that they would agree upon and would expect a call from Ted. Cindy would not wait by the phone intensely or anxiously because that was not exactly her style but she kept the line open to answer the call. Ted somehow had an idea that Cindy was this type for when he called, he used words with reservation and enticing which lay in the middle of apathetic and daring. He ended the call by saying “That’s a good restaurant. Let’s meet there.”

         The restaurant, Anthony’s was not exactly a four-star restaurant nor was it just an average Italian restaurant but lie somewhere between, probably further from the luxurious atmosphere that both were skeptical to be in. Cindy waited outside the restaurant for only a minute when Ted approached her, and asked her “Have you been waiting here long”. Cindy replied “Only about a minute which is not long as I was prepared for a longer wait, and it’s nothing against you, but this may throw my plans a little off. Ted then responded “I somewhat expected a little more resistance in a both humorous and sarcastic way so this puts me a little off the track too. They both entered the restaurant and the waiter, who seemed to know both their type said “Here is your table and I am pretty sure you will both be surprised at your encounter, perhaps even the same way. Here is your table and menu and I will let you get comfortable, for the moment.” Ted looked at Cindy like he knew what the waiter meant and that Cindy knew too but perhaps, not quite the same at the way Ted did. They sat down and Ted made some comments about past restaurants, and customer service, and menu items and Cindy then said “I got to tell you. I somewhat knew what to expect but then again, I really did not know and, nothing intentional against you Ted,  

but I wish I did not know as much as I seem. Ted expressed similar views and nodded but he knew that his idea of astounding ideas of their meeting may have some divergence but this would not preclude an interesting conversation.

         Ted sat down and looked at Cindy waiting for her to show some sales resistance but at the same time offer some hope that he would at least be someone worth keeping around was somewhat confused when she did not portray these types of emotions but rather sat there with an almost accommodating and reticent manner. Cindy then at this moment was somewhat astonished that Ted was not altogether submissive or open to commentary about how he could be more assertive or at least more eager to accomplish something beyond his routine skills. She knew she had a note of peculiar intensity about their encounter but seemed rather not as much in an almost forceful and professorial demeanor as in a more strange and detached type of way, but congenial.

Cindy began the conversation by asking Ted about his aspirations and interests and Ted, who showed some hesitation and contemplation, confided to Cindy that he had thought about these things from time to time and was waiting for the right moment to reveal some of his ideas. He also expressed some surprise that he felt this way at this time because prior to his calling Cindy to make the arrangement, he felt he would wait for her to cast the first stone and put him on the spot for more contention. Cindy then returned the favor when Ted asked her about his endeavors at life and her scholastic prowess and how it fit in with any romantic interest. Cindy replied to this by saying “Ted I am not sure what it is but I figured you to be of the passive or at least the inactive perspicacious type who would try to fit these type of friendly inquiries after proving something to me that you belong here.” Ted returned with his recognition of this fact and then he declared “I am a little shocked too because I figured I would meet someone such as you who would make me earn some of my vested interests in you and in life and I would have to prove to you, subtlety, and in increments naturally, how I may fit in with your plans if I had more what you would call, an internal locus of strength and self-assurance, something I examine occasionally.

         The waiter then returned with their orders and looked at them like he knew they were at the beginning of resolving any conflicts that each contributed to in a manner not altogether characteristic of each. He then said” I know we don’t have the perfect couple here but I must say for two people who just met, you have the creation of a couple of have known each other for quite type but are finding out things they had not known.” They each looked at each other and wondered how someone who specializes in food servings and complimentary service would know so much but then each agreed that each knew something about their date that was a bit more than complimentary. Ted then disclosed to Cindy about his worries and concerns about being too standoffish while at the same time trying to control his concealed ambitions. Cindy then expressed her surprise at how much she seemed to know about this and understood how Ted suddenly acted with more assertion and waited for her to disclose. Cindy then disclosed to Ted her doubts and somewhat humorous views toward such an encounter and how she might have to pass judgment with refinement but with genuine directness toward someone like Ted. However, after the first minute in this restaurant Cindy was a bit astonished at how her outlook had changed and she was seeing Ted as someone he thought he could be, sometime in the future, given the circumstances and encouragement.

         Ted began to describe some of his interests and ideas about life which was something he had only done with himself and had not considered how it would be received by someone else. During the meeting Ted said “Cindy I am sort of surprised by both of us as I am giving an impression of someone that I mostly pondered on to be in private, and you are showing a receptive, patient, but ready to advise type of character that I thought was more common on television or the media than an actual meeting. Cindy then returned the favor and showed her surprise at how Ted seemed to be more accepting of himself and her and she did not have to be overly assertive or too prying in a friendly way to maintain a social conversation and interest with someone. Throughout the conversation both Ted and Cindy revealed their lifestyle and goals and what they thought about their life and what they could contribute, and although they did not always agree, then were in concord on how this particular date was a bit surprising. Cindy let Ted know that although she was not serious about finding a lifelong companion in this particular date and that she would reveal any ideas she had about Ted with tenderness, that this date she did not have to conceal or change any of these thoughts. Ted then returned with his ideas that he did not have to worry about putting up a front or pretending to have qualities of interests that he did not possess and he would not have to be defensive in this particular date at both their insights were good enough,

         During much of the meeting, each revealed to the other how this date was a bit surprising than the other meeting with people they have had but often each explanation was rather different than the other. Most of the time each agreed on how much this encounter surprised each of them and how each person reacted and responded to the person who sat across from them, but often each had different views on why it was so surprising to each. Ted would often tell Cindy about this date did not cause the same type of anxiety or burden of proof type of feelings he usually had and Cindy told Ted that this date did not entice her mode of humble critique and slight but firm form of analyzing and evaluating. Each was surprised at how this date did not cause the same pressure to fill the conversation with idle chatter and pretend there was something romantic. However, as was the case throughout the meeting, Ted showed Cindy that his attitude and thoughts of how this surprised him was somewhat different than the way Cindy had thought about the same conversation filled with meaningless gestures and anecdotes. Both knew that their different ways of how this date surprised them was evident, but they affirmed their preoccupations both revolved around a friendly encounter with a slight romantic tone and a denser style of conversation that made each feel better about each other because each felt better about their partner each was talking with and sharing thoughts that each usually contemplated in private. Ted was surprised at some of the things he could feel and understand and communicate and Cindy was surprised at some of the things she could connect with, relate to, and pass the time with, and both were surprised at how each was comfortable passing on this information to the other. Although their ideas were different and was surprising to each one in a different way, Ted and Cindy allowed each other to reach a conclusion that, although romance or a lasting relationship was not in the cards, each was better with the other, than alone.