A Mother's Life

Wake up. Eat. Work. Sleep. That's all I do. My body yearns for relaxation but my mind forces me to stay on track. Wake up. Eat. Work. Sleep. I help everybody, but I never help myself. Wake up. Eat Work. Sleep. Will the cycle ever change?

I'm stuck here, but still happy. Mixed emotions always rush through me. I have to try to make myself happy. My kids always need me, but I feel I need them more. Through all my work and agony, I still have something to come back to. I was always salivating for their neverending joy and comfort.

When I start my day I remember them. I pack their lunches and then pack mine. I get them ready for school and make sure they don't forget anything. I stand by the children and wait till I see the mustard yellow of the school bus screech to a stop. I give them many kisses and wave them bye. I always feel as if I wouldn't see them again. I go off to work, but nobody waves to me.

I drive long hours to work. Well, at least it feels like it. When I walk into my school my heart drops. The fright of being a teacher and having to take care of 26 kids scares me. It always does. It's as if a machine makes me overwhelmed right when I take a step past the large ebony door. I'm trying to get past that feeling.

I enter my classroom and get ready for 6 hours of yelling and bickering. I always thought to myself. Is this it? This is my life? Surely, God has a greater path for me. Somewhere.

I take attendance and begin teaching. "So class, we will begin our new unit on The Civil War." I announce, "There will be a test at the end of the week so study, study, study."

"Are you kidding me?!" One of my students shouted, "We just had one last week!" I couldn't take it anymore! This class just complained! All they did was be disrespectful and think they can control what I do. "NOAH! GO TO THE PRINCIPALS OFFICE NOW! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!" When I was done shouting I realized my mistake. Waterfalls gushed from his eyes. I didn't want him to cry. It made me sad when one of my students was sad. I had to make this right. I took him out in the hallway.

"Look, Noah, I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to put you in that position. I didn't mean to yell at you. I just wanted you to understand my point of view. When say something I don't want you to complain. Just, please, whenever I say something about upcoming tests or just anything in general, don't talk back and argue."

Noah looked up at me. He talked to me about why he did it and how overwhelmed he was about it. I related to him with me having the same feeling I have about teaching in this school. It seemed as if we were on the same page and I let him go. I didn't send him to the principal's office. I was just stupid and couldn't get around the fact that people have feelings and emotions too. And sometimes, you just have to understand.

My school day went smooth after that. There were no more complaints or arguing after the incident in the morning. I could say that I taught in peace, but I feel that it would be a bit exaggerative. I taught the students a part of the new social studies unit, how to comprehend various math concepts, how to find the theme in short stories and the life cycle of a frog. I worked through any small incidents until the end of the day. Till I said goodbye.

"Bye Mrs. Lorencovitz!" kids would say they left the class. "Bye! Have a wonderful day!" Though my class didn't know it, I loved them with part of my heart. The other part is reserved for my kids.

I went back home and put my purple leather purse down. I sighed. The air got sucked by my nose and blew out a breeze through my mouth. I could finally breathe. I sat down on the couch and drifted off to sleep.

RING! RING! "W-wha-what time is it?" I muttered to myself. My phone fell out of my purse. It was lying right in front of me. It was my alarm. My alarm to pick the kids up. It was set at 4:00. It's now 4:15!

I panicked and ran to get my jacket and leave. Right when I opened the door, a chilly gust of air danced on my face. My face went numb, but that wouldn't stop me. I started the car and drove to their school. There was sweat going down my spine. "I can't be late! I can't be late!" I ran into the school and asked for them to announce Mia and Michael Lorencovitz into the PA system. I waited for 5, then 10, then 15 minutes. No one came up to the main office. Anxiety began to gurgle up inside of me. I had to call the police. I just, I just HAD TO DO SOMETHING! I looked for my phone in my pockets and my purse, but I couldn't find anything. I probably left it at home. I was so stupid. How could I do such a dumb thing?

I drove home as fast as I can. Questions rolled through my mind. Where are they? Are they safe? What hurt the most was thinking something bad happened to them. I started crying and crying. Their school was 6 blocks away from home so they couldn't have gone far.

I pulled up into our driveway until I noticed something. The lights were on. I could've sworn I turned them off before I left. Could somebody be inside? I tiptoed up to the house. My key turned slightly. I wanted to open to see my kids. I was scared to see somebody else. My heart beat faster and faster with every twist of the knob. "It's now or never," I told myself. I opened the door and tears of joy ran down my cheeks.

Standing there was Mia and Michael. Right next to them was a cake. "Where were you? I was worried sick. I was going to call the police and try to find where you were. I thought you were dead." They both looked at me with a bit of guilt in their eyes.

"We're sorry mom. We walked home and came in from the back door a few minutes ago. We thought you were here. Anyways, the thing is we appreciate everything you do for us." Michael began. "So we wanted to do something for you." Mia continued. They showed me the cake. There were three candles that reminded me of the three of us. On the cake, it said I LOVE YOU in big red frosting. "Awwww, you didn't have to do this for me," I stated. They replied back, "We should've done more."

I looked at the sparkle in their eyes. I couldn't be mad at them after this. I gave them a huge hug and a kiss. "I love you too!" We sat down that night together. Watching T.V. and eating our cakes.

Wake up. Eat. Work. Sleep. I had to do those things to help the family. To help us live. But, we have the most important thing needed to have a purpose in our life. We had happiness.