IT'S NOT POSSIBLE

It was another lazy Monday. Nothing unusual, there were no birds singing just delicious smells of toast and eggs wafting through the windows. every other person here might at least have one happy moment today but me i'll probably struggle through the office day with a load of other strangers who i have never made an effort to get to know and then i'll come home and watch movies alone while having pizza for dinner well pizza now that's a happy thought . i get up unwillingly from the peaceful comfort of my bed. I stumble to the bathroom to freshen up . the thought of going to the office makes me wishing for it to be night all over again. but with a lot of effort i manage to gobble up some breakfast and change from my night cloths , after all the waking up i'm officially awake when i get out of the house and lock the door . i walk over to the mailbox and retrieve the mail stuffed inside it and that too was the usual mail , electric bill, water bill, the usual letter from my sister which i carefully slide into my handbag . me and my sister have this tradition we don't email each other we send actual letters every week ,i mean sure we do text and call each other but the letter holds a soft spot in both of our hearts because we used to send letters a lot when we were young .We used to send one to Santa , his elves, the tooth fairy also the clown under my bed and many more imaginary people . it seems so funny now but back then it was really serious . As i come to the last of the mail there's one from Mila , i stop dead on my tracks tears stream down from my face, huge sobs erupts from my throat . it can't be i thought, it isn't possible , it's a joke ,but who would have thought of playing such a cruel joke .everyone i know knows how much Mila means to me, nobody would be that cruel. Mila my best friend ,Mila who's death i partially blame on me, four years ago on September twenty second ,i forced Mila my best friend from forever to come over , i could sense that she didn't want to come over but eventually she did because of me but she never made her way over here because Mila Mahogan died in a car crash ,when she was making her way to my house.they found her blood high on alcohol.i knew something was off but i never forced it out of her. From that day i was never the same . of course nobody blamed me ,not in front of me but i'm sure that they all do behind my back . My sister was the only person who helped me as much as she can to help me move on . but that never happened . i could never move on .from that day i was the opposite me from my carefree jolly self to a very boring and not-people-person self . the day Mila died was the end of a chapter in my life . i did not allow myself to be happy . four years , nobody would play a prank like this , i didn't even talk to anybody anymore so how could this happen. i shakily opened the envelope ,there were goosebumps all around my body , the world was moving but i wasn't . All my neighbours who i hadn't even bothered meeting for the last four years were talking to one other people were going to their offices , children going to schools but me i freezed right there . After what seemed like ages , i carefully picked the letter inside and opened it and there in Mila's beautiful handwriting my name was written.

Dear Kyra,

hey ky , i know if your reading this i'm already dead .and please don't freak out . i just wanted to tell you this im happy and i'm fine . don't blame yourself for what happened to me ky. To tell you the truth it was all my fault. i was hiding a lot from you and i'm so sorry . I shouldn't have done it and don't blame yourself for it because i hid it all behind a smile. After the accident with mum and dad i just got into this terrible state and you helped me a lot but i needed an escape from everything so i started drinking. i'm so sorry ky i should have told you . you knew something was off and you kept asking me but i never opened up and i hope you can forgive me for being such a bad friend . i'll tell you exactly what happened on twenty second of September four years ago .i was having a really bad day so i used my escape and i was planning to come to your place and then when you called i was sounding off because i didn't want you to know that i was drunk but i hadn't thought it through because you would know if i came to your place you would know about my heavy escapade but finally i gave up and climbed onto the car and you know what happened next . i'm so sorry kyra you didn't deserve whatever happened i'm so sorry that i didn't confide in you i just want you to know that it wasn't your fault and i'm happy here . i'm happy .i love you so much ky my best friend forever. but it's time to move on live your life ky don't just be a body with a soul . i want to see you happy and living and remember whatever happens i'll always be there with you in your heart and i'll always support all your decisions . i hope you can ind a way to forgive me ky. live kyra , live ..

love,

Mila

and as much weirded i was by this i will live Mila for you and me. i finally got it.closure that's what i was waiting for .and now i can finally move on knowing that Mila was happy .t here was no senders address on the letter just Mila written over it i look up and say thank you. Thank you..

the end