Showers
I
Alexandru “Sonny” Walton hurtled through a wormhole, feeling as if every molecule was being twisted into a pretzel while the nuclei of his cells rode the endoplasmic reticulum like a roller coaster. He was extremely nauseated when he was dumped unceremoniously onto the ground of what might have been the most unappealing world in the galaxy, if not the entire Universe. Thick, crimson clouds roiled violently in the sky. The ground was covered with dry, red dirt, and Sonny could hardly breathe in the scorching heat.
“I think I’m gonna yak,” Sonny muttered as he forced himself to his feet. His normally robust complexion was a sickly yellow. His honey-blond hair was covered in grayish dust, which became tacky mud reminiscent of the color and texture of congealed blood as red rain began to fall. Sonny hurried towards a weather-beaten barracks visible on the horizon. He estimated that the structure was approximately two miles away.
“I hope whoever’s here is friendly, and I hope they have showers,” Sonny mused.
The rain increased its intensity. Small, sharp crystals formed amid the liquid drops, shredding Sonny’s skin on impact. Sonny picked up the pace, but the vampire-werewolf hybrid was weakened from his journey across time and space, and the hot, thin atmosphere was oppressive even for a superhuman such as himself. By the time he reached the barracks six minutes later, his clothing was in rags and his skin was shredded and felt like it was on fire.
The barracks were empty. Sonny sought frantically for a shower, desperately wishing to rinse away the fragments of the corrosive crystals. To his relief, the shower area was close at hand. It occurred to him at the moment he stepped under the clear, tepid spray that the creatures occupying these barracks might not have the same physiology as humans, and the water on this planet might be toxic to Terrans, even those with mutated physiology such as his own.
To Sonny’s relief, the water seemed compatible with his cell structure. The crystalline shards washed out of his wounds, which now began to heal rapidly, thanks to his vampire trait.
“It’s like someone dipped cubic zirconium chips in an acid bath and dropped them from the sky,” the former vice president of Xquenda Jewels speculated.
Sonny’s sensitive hearing picked up the sound of frantic footsteps some 3000 feet away. A single bipedal creature was approaching, likely male by the size indicated by the footfalls. He surmised that it was one of the residents of the barracks. He hoped that the soldier would understand his reasoning for entering uninvited and surmised that the man might be injured by the acidic ice shards as he had been. He wondered if the soldier would be amenable to drinking his blood to facilitate the expedited healing of his wounds, then laughed at himself.
“It’s almost like I forgot that vampires can compel,” Sonny chuckled. “Perhaps I hit my head coming out of that wormhole. I certainly hope that I can get back home soon. The ambiance here is terrible.”
II
As Sonny was drying himself, the frantic footsteps entered the shower area and a startled soldier, who had been prepared for the caustic rain and thus was clad in protective gear, gawped in awe as he removed a head covering made from what appeared to be charm pink vinyl. Sonny stifled a smirk as the thought that he had been transported to a gay fetish club crossed his mind.
The soldier appeared to be in his early twenties. He seemed to be human, although his psychic patterns indicated stronger telepathic and telekinetic abilities than those possessed by the average Terran. He had dark, shaggy hair parted on the side, and when he removed his protective helmet, his long bangs flopped down, obscuring his right eye. His eyes were a striking shade of magic mint, heavy on the blue. Sonny’s heart skipped a beat as he realized that this otherworldly military man was a carbon copy of Sonny’s stepfather, Tobias, at a similar age.
“Perhaps this soldier has demon blood like Tobias,” Sonny speculated. He found himself thinking of his stepfather, who had been just twenty years old when he adopted the then twelve-year-old Alexandru from a Romanian orphanage. The adoption was a P.R. move ordered by Tobias’ father to prove that his son had grown beyond being the flighty bisexual party boy that the paparazzi couldn’t get enough of.
Tobias always behaved as a roguish older brother rather than a father. Under Tobias’ tutelage, Sonny grew up quickly. He learned about running the family business, and he learned about drugs and partying. Sonny remained a virgin until his eighteenth birthday when Tobias hired a dozen female strippers to spend the weekend. The next weekend, he took Sonny to an all-male sex club, telling his surrogate brother that he should feel free to enjoy the best of both worlds.
For the next twenty years, Sonny thought that life couldn’t get wilder. Then Tobias met Fatimah Kader, an attractive, middle-aged, Middle Eastern businesswoman. Fatimah had a gorgeous, six-foot-tall blonde stepdaughter named Yaen. Tobias thought that he and Fatimah would make a top-notch power couple, while Sonny and Yaen made a pretty pair themselves.
Fatimah and Yaen proved to be more than the Walton boys bargained for. Fatimah, despite her outward appearance, wasn’t human. She was a shape-shifting alien from a planet called Gamma Iridion, whose blood was infected with vampirism retrovirus. Yaen was an Earth native, but she was also a vampire. With Sonny and Tobias’ permission, Fatimah and Yaen infected them with the retrovirus, which offered numerous advantages, including superhuman strength and speed, rapid healing abilities, superb night vision, extra-sensitive hearing, incredible dexterity, and virtual immortality.
Sonny thought that nothing could be weirder than being a bisexual vampire playboy. However, on New Year’s Eve 2018, he discovered that his biological parents were werewolves, making him genetically a werewolf as well. He needed to drink blood on the night of a full moon in order to spark the initial transformation. He was outraged to discover that Tobias had known the truth at the time that he had adopted Sonny, but had kept it a secret. Further, it was revealed that Tobias’ father was an infernal Marquis, making Tobias a demon hybrid.
As if things weren’t strange enough, Sonny and a group of his associates were imprisoned by a megalomaniac scientist in her secret lair, which had been built inside a dormant volcano. When the volcano erupted, destroying the base, the hapless vampire-werewolf hybrid was thrown into a wormhole, bringing him to this barren world.
III
“Opqt wyz abdeg!” the soldier declared excitedly, snapping Sonny out of his reverie. “Kyl Spiz!”
“Uh…I’m not a spy,” Sonny protested, dropping the towel in his haste to prove that he was not in possession of any weapons.
“Un ar?” the soldier inquired, pointing at Sonny. He tapped his own chest.
“Kyl Spiz,” he repeated.
“Kyl Spiz?” Sonny asked, pointing at the soldier, who nodded, his jovial grin more suited to a cheerful child than a seasoned combat veteran. Despite his physical resemblance to Tobias, this ingenuous man behaved nothing like Sonny’s perfectionistic and sometimes sadistic stepfather.
Sonny pointed at himself.
“Sonny Walton,” he said.
“So-nee,” Kyl repeated.
Sonny nodded. He pointed at the towel.
Kyl picked up the towel and handed it to Sonny. He signaled for Sonny to follow him to the uniform supply closet. Sonny dressed, then turned back to Kyl. Kyl threw his arms around Sonny.
“Brodur!” Kyl exclaimed. “It have been long. I am being alone.”
“You speak English,” Sonny noted.
Kyl seemed puzzled. After a moment, he smiled.
“Speak old!” he replied. He looked at Sonny quizzically.
“Why not speak new?” he inquired.
“I…I don’t know it,” Sonny replied. “But you speak Old very well, so we’ll get by. Where is everyone else?”
“No else,” Kyl replied. “I only left.”
“How long have you been alone?” Sonny asked.
Kyl thought for a minute. He drew eight hash marks in the dust on the desk.
“Planess,” he said.
“I’m sorry, I don’t understand,” Sonny apologized. “Can you explain Planess?”
Kyl pulled what appeared to be a dry-erase board and marker from the desk. He tapped a button on the tablet. He tapped the side of the marker, then drew a gigantic red sun. He drew a trio of X marks in succession, then a circle.
“Us this,” Kyl stated. “Beta Columbae four. World Zendar. Two more base beyond, World Cyjene, World Sabid. Six more world beyond, most junk. Brodur, why not they train before dispatch?”
“I wasn’t dispatched from anywhere, Kyl,” Sonny explained, gaping in horror at the hellish red giant sun whose rays now pierced the thick clouds. “I was brought here by accident. I don’t even know where I am. All I know is that I want to get back home, and I’ll take you with me. What year is this? What are you? You look exactly like my stepfather looked when I first met him, but you sure as hell don’t act like him. Your brain waves have an infernal flavor, but when you saw me, you behaved like a kid opening Christmas presents because you’ve probably been stuck by yourself on this shithole for a long time. Oh, hell, you probably have no idea what I’m talking about, and I’m so sorry.”
IV
Sonny began to weep. Kyl gave Sonny a concerned look. He attempted to console his companion.
“You know where you made?” he inquired.
“Made? I wasn’t m…oh, you mean born. I was born on Earth.”
“Production Xquenda Alpha?”
Sonny stared at his companion, unsure of what to say. He had been vice president of Xquenda Industries, but he realized that he had no real clue of what Tobias had been up to behind his back. He had been primarily responsible for making sure that Xquenda Jewels remained best in class with their exquisite creations. Had Tobias sanctioned cloning experiments, or was this something that had started after Sonny and Tobias were both gone? If they were gone, how had they met their end? They were effectively immortal.
“Xquenda?” Sonny managed.
“You Luna type soldier,” Kyl stated. “I Solaris type. Make by Xquenda Upsilon Facility, Gamma Nyarlo Ten. You make by Urd Facility, Xquenda Alpha?”
Sonny reasoned that Xquenda Alpha must be the original clone production facility, and it made sense that it would be on Earth.
“I’m from Earth—Xquenda Alpha if I understand you correctly. But I wasn’t produced in a facility. I was born to a young woman—a girl, really, in a country called Romania. My birth name was Alexandru Lupei. My background isn’t important now. I think I already know, but can you explain to me the difference between the Luna type and the Solaris type?”
“Luna type shift form. Much best night mission. Walk dream best.”
“Did they become animals? Four legs, furry bodies, sharp teeth?”
“Sometime. Also, man form and Lupa face.”
“Did they drink blood?”
“Some they do, yes. You drink blood?”
Sonny nodded. Kyl pointed at his neck.
“You feed?”
“I would rather take from the facility’s supply of blood if it hasn’t gone tainted. I don’t want to sap your strength. Kyl, what happened to the rest of your squad?
“Shower come. Metori.”
“Rocks falling from the sky?”
“Yes, much rock.”
“How is the base still intact?”
“Shield protect. Squad outside shield. Try to send rescue beam.”
“I think I may understand why I was drawn to this place,” Sonny mused. “I’m fairly sure that meteor shower was the remains of one of the inner planets. We aren’t safe here. Going underground will protect us, but not for long. The inner three planets of this system are toast, and this one is next. I may have a way to save us, but it’s going to sound crazy. I will need blood from both of us to do the magic that will get us out of this place.”
“If work, no crazy,” Kyl said. “We walk dream?”
“Perhaps. I’m not a sorcerer, but I’m hoping I can create a portal back to Earth.”
The red giant sun flared outside the protective shield, and Sonny staggered against Kyl.
“Us go below. You feed. Then walk dream.” Kyl insisted.
“Kyl, I can’t deplete your energy,” Sonny protested.
“You need energy to rescue. You feed. I eat ration pack. No best taste, but optim nutrient.”
“Since your blood probably tastes like a ration pack, I may as well just eat a ration pack too,” Sonny reasoned. “One nice thing about being a hybrid is that I’m not as dependent on blood as a pure vampire. Still, let’s grab the blood from the medical supply area. We’ll also take some ration packs, water, and we’ll need a couple of backpacks.”
V
Gathering their supplies, Sonny and Kyl descended to the sub-basement. Kyl packed the backpacks while Sonny used blood from one of the medical supply bags to outline an arc as high as his arm stretched over his head and wide enough to accommodate two people standing side by side. Kyl didn’t understand the language that Sonny spoke, but he noticed the reverence in his companion’s expression as he touched his palm to the bag before opening it.
“I’m giving thanks to the men who gave their blood,” he explained. “An adept wizard would have no need for it, but I’m not an adept wizard, so we need all the help we can get. We will have to travel a great distance through space and time.”
“To Xquenda Alpha?”
“That is my goal, yes.”
There were tears in Kyl’s eyes. Sonny rose to embrace his companion. He couldn’t get over the cloned soldier’s resemblance to his stepfather as he appeared to the adoring eyes of twelve-year-old Alexandru Lupei, who spoke only two words of English: yes, and thank-you.
“Don’t be afraid, Kyl,” Sonny soothed. “I’m not an adept wizard, but I learned from the best. I can do this spell. We’re going to fry if we stay here and wait for rescue. I’m your rescue, but I’m not going to be a particularly good one if I don’t get you out of here.”
“I not fearing, Sonny,” Kyl countered. “I very gratitude. You care of Kyl. When us land new zone, I give of blood and body. You feed and fuck.”
Sonny was rattled by the matter-of-fact way that Kyl offered himself to be used and pained by the resignation in the soldier’s eyes.
“Kyl, I would not do either of those things unless we were both in complete agreement,” he said. “Did others…well, I can see that they did by the way you looked when you offered yourself to me. Did this happen often?”
“Luna have access to Solaris for pleasure. Reward to Luna, superior troop. Some also to superior Solaris.”
“Did they…fuck me, how do I even ask something like this? Did they at least treat you decent?”
“Some kindly. Feed to us special ration. Give shower, massage body, make love. Have bubble drink, laugh also.”
“And others?” Sonny inquired, already knowing the answer.
“Some yell and hit, make to play slave, call ugly name, whole gang fuck rough through night.”
“Were there no rules against this?”
“No allow disable or kill. Medical team care of wound. Sometime doctor like fuck also, pay for good cares.”
“Fucking hell!” Sonny muttered, bloody tears flowing down his face. He caressed his companion’s face, then took Kyl’s hands, squeezing them.
“Kyl, I promise you that I will never hit you, call you ugly names, or use you sexually,” he swore. “Listen, I haven’t been the most stand-up guy in many ways, but I really don’t like seeing people hurt. I don’t like using people either, although I know I have in the past. I’m trying to change that. I want you to promise me that you won’t offer yourself sexually to anyone ever again unless you really want to and unless they’re going to treat you right. You don’t have to pay with your body for basic kindness. It’s your right. You got that?”
“I think,” Kyl agreed. “I am thanking to you, Sonny, that you save life.”
“Well, I am thankful to you for your friendship and for the knowledge you’ve given me. Hopefully, I’ll do this right and we’ll end up back on Earth—Xquenda Alpha—in my time. The second best option would be going to the Dreamlands, but hopefully not the Underworld. And then, my friend, when we get there, we will scrub down and dress up and I will take you out for some crazy delicious food. Are you ready to ditch this place, Kyl?”
“I much ready, Sonny. I think to die here. I live more day.”
“Many more days if I have anything to say about it. When I find Tobias, I have some pressing questions for him.”
Sonny intoned arcane words as he used the blood packs to fill in the dark red archway on the wall. He painted sigils around the arch using his and Kyl’s blood. As the spell reached its culmination, the archway began to glow crimson. Sonny took Kyl’s hand.
“Come on, let’s do this,” he urged.
Kyl squeezed Sonny’s hand and smiled. The two men jumped into the blinding red glow of the blood gate together.
Acknowledgments
The Dreamlands (Earth’s Dreamlands) are the creation of H.P. Lovecraft. “Gamma Nyarlo Ten” is a nod to Nyarlathotep, another of Lovecraft’s creations.
Sonny Walton, Tobias Walton, Fatimah Kader, Yaen Kader, and Kyl Spiz are the creations of Team Netherworld. Sonny, Tobias, Fatimah, and Yaen have appeared previously in the Naughty Netherworld Press erotic series, Carnal Invasion. This piece marks the debut of Kyl Spiz.
Gamma Iridion and Xquenda Industries are also the creations of Team Netherworld and have previously appeared in the Carnal Invasion series.
The fictional worlds orbiting Beta Columbae are the creations of Team Netherworld.
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