Mule Deer In The Rear-View Mirror

Mule Deer in the Rear-View Mirror

“Thirty.”

“Thirty? What are you counting?”

“Mule deer.”

“Mule deer? Why! Why are you counting mule deer?”

“Thirty-one. Because I couldn't help noticing--thirty-two--how many of them I've seen since we passed the Wyoming border. Thirty-three. So I started counting them.”

“Wow! Cassie. You must really be bored. Come a little closer so I can wrap my arm around your shoulder. Have I not been giving you enough attention lately?”

“Are you serious, Drifter? Thirty-four. We spend twenty-four hours a day together. Eleven of them traveling down these sometimes forsaken highways. Thirty-five. Then other than showering and eating, picking-up or delivering loads we are in that berth exploring each other in delightfully naughty ways. In no way am I bored with you! Thirty-six.

“Okay, enough with the mule deer already. Did you want to pull into a rest stop so you can paint one?”

“No. That's not necessary. I only thought it would be helpful to point them out to you so you would be prepared in case one leaped out in front of the semi suddenly. That could be dangerous and deadly.”

“Deadly for the mule deer. Splat! I see carcasses mushed over the tarmac all the time. Sometimes recognizable, sometimes not.”

“I think these critters are rather unique. What do you think? Some prospector's burro got overly friendly with a run-of-the-muck white-tailed deer and presto/change-o you have deer with mule ears?”

“Most likely exactly what happened.”

“Strange I haven't noticed them so much in other states. They blend in here with the landscape so well you can barely make them out.”

“Well, thank you for calling them out then as a precautionary measure.”

“See? Look at that one up there on that ledge. They are excellent climbers, too.”

“They're certainly proliferate. But I do have my driving under control so you can relax. Hey, what are you doing there?”

“Helping you to relax, my Mule of a Dear.”

“Well, that's not the gear stick you have a hold on! You could easily distract me and then I couldn't see a deer or the road. Here's a rest stop. How about we pull over to explore a little more?”

%%%%%

“Um, now this is what I call adventure!”

“Cassie. Uh, wow! Let me catch my breath. Oh, what you do to me!

“Mm. You know you make me deliriously happy. But, but how are you, really? Any regrets about dropping your old life to come on the road with me? Mm.”

“Does this honest display of affection show any signs of regret? I love our vagabond lifestyle and the pleasures of taking a respite like this just on a whim. It's marvelous for me. I, I enjoy it as much as you do. And I love you as well. Ah, yes, yes! That's it. That's what I need.”

mmmmm

“Oh, oh! That's so good, Cassie. But we really must get back on the road to get this delivery done on time. Help me chart what's next on our agenda. You've been invaluable in that capacity. Saves so much time when you do the planning as we travel. So we can take our mental health breaks.”

“Tee, hee! Is that what this is called these days? I know you drive me crazy so I guess the title fits. A mental health break. I'm all for it anytime you say, Cowboy. Let's get this load on the road!”

%%%%%

“Oh, look that's the industrial park up ahead already. And we made it in record time even taking our mental health break. Maybe we will have time for another one once we are unloaded.”

“My, oh, my, Cass. What have I created? You're developing into a sex maniac.”

“Well, if the shoe fits... Just taking my clues from you, My Love. You do have a way about you. Sort of a sexy cowboy vibe.”

“And you, My Dear, every bit of you oozes, well, sexy charm. I'm a lucky man.”

^b**d^

“Look what I sketched while you were unloading.”

“Of all things, a mule deer! Very fitting. For that you get a kiss.”

“Mm ah. Thank you. I also found another load to target over the state line not too far away.”

“For that you get two kisses. Mm ah, mm ah.”

“Thank you, thank you.”

“Now let's get this rig in gear and get these mule deer in the rear view mirror so we can take another mental health break before I attack you right here in this factory lot.”

“Would that be workplace sexual harassment, I hope, I hope.”

“You sex maniac, you!”

“Well, if the boot fits...”

“Not sure about the boot but I know where I want to fit those boobs again! But let's get going for now.”

“You're so sweet.”

“Not nearly as sweet as your not quite matching girls there.”

'Who is the sex maniac now?”

“Guilty.”

“On a serious note, Drifter. As I look at our books and how hard you work I was wondering if we could become a team?”

“We are a team. A well oiled team, Sweetheart!”

“I mean if I got a CDL, I could drive half the time so you don't have to do all the work.”

“See, I knew you were getting bored. It's not enough for you to sit there looking gorgeous and admiring the pretty passing scenery.”

“Oh, I don't mind at all. I simply thought I could be more useful.”

“You've worked hard all your life waiting on other people. I'm happy bearing the load, so to speak, so you can take it easy. I know we got married in a fever, hotter than a pepper sprout. I want you to be happy so that fire never does go out. We do okay money wise and I have enough savings for a nice retirement someday. Guess we have never really discussed that sort of thing. Maybe you want to settle down someplace soon. I should consider your hopes and dreams. It would be a challenge getting your schooling to pass a CDL but if that's what you want. It's doable. If you're sure.”

“Something to think about. For now I'm happy hammering down, putting these mule deer in the rear-view mirror like you said so we can get to our next mental health break. I'm feeling a little crazy again. How about you?”