2nd Chance Grace Part 1

               “Can you keep a secret?” Masie whispered to Juniper. 

               The horse whinnied and nudged her with its nozzle.

              “Unlike Mamm and Daed, Juniper and I both know you’re not really going to visit our cousin in Jacob’s Pillow like you say,” her sister Sarah said, walking into the barn.

               “You won’t tell, will you?”

               “Nein. Everyone has to have a rumspringa sometime. Just be careful. Don’t forget to change out of your Englisher clothes before you come back.”

               “Sarah, I should tell you where I am actually going…” Masie began.

               “As long as you’re safe, Masie, that’s all I want to know for now. I don’t want to lie.” Sarah went to the door frame. Mrs. Zeigler was speaking with Jeremiah Yoder. “Are you going to join church and marry Jeremiah? Why are you dragging your feet? He is a gut man and has been a gut friend for a long time now.”

               Masie squirmed the way her insides did when Jeremiah gave her his special look every night he took her home after singings. She really wished she could feel the same way about him. As a friend she did love him a lot. As a husband, she didn’t know… they didn’t seem suited to each other. Of course she knew she could join church without the engagement and marriage, but that was the expectation. Her mother liked to remind her it was high time with few-well, no other- options. Masie had some answers to seek first. Jeremiah could only stay long enough to wish her well and have a quick word.

               Jeremiah cleared his throat. “Masie…I’m just askin’ you to consider it, but do you think you could see me as a husband? Us publishing to get married and joining the church together when you come home?”

               Of all the times Masie had once dreamed of this moment as a little girl, she never thought of having the internal turmoil she was experiencing now. At one point, she’d thought of Jeremiah asking her, thought she’d felt that way about him, but the feelings changed somehow over time. Maybe she was just wrong and she really could love him that way. Her head had been in a funny place the last few weeks when she’d started receiving the letters. She found herself responding. “I will think about it, Jeremiah.” She couldn’t give him some glowing affirmation and loving glance. It’d be too cruel, but she did honestly give him the caring smile.

               “Gut, gut,” Jeremiah said with relief it wasn’t an absolute no. He probably wished too that the moment could be sweeter. “Be safe. I’ll be praying for your trip and your time with your cousin.” Masie watched until his buggy was out of view.

               “I wish Asa hadn’t taken Firefly on a ride,” Daed said as he loaded Masie’s suitcase into the buggy. “I don’t know that Juniper is quite ready. She’s the roamin’ horse. Do you reckon that you could wait?”

               “I don’t want to be late,” Masie said, and that part was true. She did not say that it was because she had an important appointment to keep.

               Mr. Zeigler sighed and hitched Juniper to the buggy. “Remember, ‘To everything there is a season.’”

               “Ja, I will, Daed.”

               “That applies to Jeremiah too.”

               “I know,” Masie said irritably. “I promised him I’d think on it. I won’t drag him along.”

               “Masie…” Mr. Zeigler sighed. “The rest of the deacons are here. The Bishop will be along soon.”

               “I’m filling in today at the schoolhouse while the teacher has her baby,” Mrs. Zeigler said. “Please call the English neighbors from Jacob’s store when you meet him and Leah. Cassie will let us know if she’s heard from you.”

               “I’ve got to finish some chores before school. Cassie and I arranged it so that I will get the message when you call from wherever you’re going,” sarah whispered when their mother left.

               “Danke, Sarah,” Masie said.

               Sarah gave her a long look and a nod before leaving. Masie got into the buggy and directed the horse down the dirt road, turning onto a back country road that would help her avoid the highway. The buggy ride was bumpy and Juniper was undisciplined. Masie spotted the snake crawling across the road and tried to direct Juniper to the side. “Whoa, Juniper!” she shrieked in terror as the buggy tipped.

__________________________________________

Grace awoke, short on breath as her door opened and light spilled into the room.

“Grace?” Ryan said with concern. “You ok? Do you need 911?”

Grace shook her head. “Just an anxiety attack. I dreamed of the accident again.”

“Did it bring any memories back?”

“I don’t know. Why would I dream of a buggy and who are Sarah and Masie?”

__________________________________________

She loved driving. She enjoyed the freedom to go anywhere. She had the radio on lowly and she was singing along. The sunny day filled her with joy, especially the excitement of reaching her destination. After months of letters, she might finally be able to answer some burning questions. Her thoughts began to wander to the upcoming meeting.

Distracted, she didn’t realize what was happening until it was too late. The brakes wouldn’t halt the vehicle fast enough. The car collided with something-the impact jarred her and she felt it flip. She shrieked before the world went black.

“Masie?” The door opened and the soft glow of a lantern illuminated the bedroom. Sarah sat on the edge of the bed. “You’re shaking and I heard you cry out.”

               “The accident,” she said wearily.

               “You have been through so much. Do you want to talk?”

               “Not yet. I’ll be fine.”

               Sarah soothed away sweaty strands of Masie’s hair. “Why don’t I make you some tea while you change your night gown and take a warm bath? Sometimes that helps.”

               “Thanks,” Masie said, pushing back the covers.

               “I’ll be glad when your memory comes back. Maybe it will explain a lot of things.”

               “The doctor says the amnesia could go away anytime. That’s what I am praying for.” Masie fingered her bible and swallowed. She followed Sarah partway but turned into the bathroom.

               “We’ll go to the library tomorrow to see if it can trigger anything and maybe into one of those tea places. We’ll have a London Fog and try to lift yours,” Sarah tried to joke.

               “That sounds good, Sarah. Thank you.” Masie wished she could joke but there were too many things she did not know and didn’t understand. As she filled the tub with hot water, she had to wonder about her life, about the tea and why she dreamed about being in a car accident when, by all accounts, she’d never been in a car. The warmth and steam felt good as she closed her eyes to try and relax.

“Danke, Ryan,” Grace said as Ryan handed her the warm mug.

“What’s that mean?” Ryan asked.

“What?”

“Whatever you said-danke? What is that?”

Grace shook her head. “I don’t know. Thank you is what I said. It’s what I meant. Maybe you heard wrong.”

“No I didn’t. Maybe your speech was impacted by the accident?”

“I hope not.” Grace’s voice was soft and trembling. She felt helpless and confused.

“Hey,” Ryan said softly, squeezing her free hand. “It’s okay. Your memory is going to come back.”

“And what if it doesn’t?”

“Then I’m pretty sure I’ll love you either way and we’ll figure it out.”

Grace smiled but still wanted to cry. She rubbed the tears away from her cheeks and settled into the corner of the sofa. Ryan had fixed up pillows and a blanket for her. “Thank you for coming over to check on me.”

Ryan shrugged and grinned. “What are neighbors for? I had 5:30am opening in my schedule. Might as well move up our coffee date.” He put the spare key back in his pocket. Ryan took their mugs to the sink once tea was finished and kissed her on the forehead before leaving. “I’ll see you later.”

Grace was certain he was more than just the neighbor-and she wouldn’t mind it at all if the hunch was correct-but she didn’t push.

“Gute nacht,” she said sleepily, wondering where she’d heard the phrase. She was also curious as to how she knew a lullaby in German which she found herself humming as the refrain played in her mind. Too soothed to question any more, she settled into a more peaceful, dreamless sleep.

__________________________________________

“What was that song you sang last night?” Masie inquired as they hung the laundry.

“The one Mamm sang to us when we were little?” Sarah said. She drew in a breath to avoid being hurt and reminded herself that Masie didn’t remember these things. “It was a song about how you are loved and that God watches over you when you sleep.”

“It was lovely.”

Masie and Sarah couldn’t go to the library or on any errands after all. All of their time was spent on chores. It was the Zeigler’s turn to host worship. “I lost track of the time and forgot it was Sunday. I’m sorry, Masie.”

“No worries,” Masie said casually, although she did feel anxious and disappointed. She wasn’t sure she was up for a bunch of strangers when being around the Zeiglers was hard enough. Although singing in German was foreign to her and she stumbled through some of the singing, she relaxed and felt more at ease. For her benefit, Mr. Zeigler gave his portion in English. Asa and Sarah helped her understand the rest. God was God anywhere and he still knew her even if she didn’t.

Everyone in the community blamed the accident and amnesia for things she didn’t know but they were patient as she struggled to adapt. As the weeks rolled by and she settled into her new routines, certain things came quite easily and naturally after a while. Masie began to find this new yet old life charming, especially when she left singings and found Jeremiah Yoder waiting by his buggy to take her home.

__________________________________________

Grace began putting the puzzle pieces of her life back together again over then next several weeks and discovered that she was a reporter for a local station. She also found the most charming gazebo in the park near the apartment where she could watch the sunrise. “God’s artwork on display,” she said to herself. She loved having this quiet worship time with the Lord and even more when Ryan shared it with her. She tucked away a few items from the breakfast picnic for the man who found shelter there after she left.

“I like this new tradition,” Ryan said one day. “And your cooking segment is a hit. Who’d have thought?”

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t take this the wrong way, Grace. Cooking wasn’t exactly your strong suit before.”

“It sounds like this new and improved Grace is better.”

“You know I love you either way,” Ryan said. he sighed and seemed dejected when Grace’s cell buzzed. “You need to take that, I bet.”

Grace put it away. “I can check later,” she said with a smile. “You were saying?”

__________________________________________

Masie laughed as she studied Jeremiah’s reaction. “Your cooking skills are one of the memories I hope you get back,” he admitted gently. “But I’m awful glad you are giving me a real second look.”

“Why wouldn’t I before?” Jeremiah was godly, sweet, considerate, funny. They got along so easily and laughed much. It didn’t make sense. They’d been life-long friends.

“Well, I reckon only you could answer that.”

Masie’s face fell. “I’m wondering if you want me to remember. I don’t want to know. I’m really happy with the way things are for us.” She felt more than that, she could marry him, but that may be rushing things.

Jeremiah grinned. “Then don’t remember that part and remember the rest.” He gazed at her as if he had a particular question but he didn’t want to push her. For her part, Masie was beginning to hope he’d ask.

Although she’d grown to love it and the children inside, Masie gave a regretful look towards the schoolhouse and sighed.

“Why don’t we go for a ride later and I’ll treat you to a real supper?” Jeremiah suggested.

“I’d like that. I’ll see you when school is over?”

__________________________________________

“So I’ve been thinking about it,” Grace’s coworker said. “Do you believe in reincarnation? Maybe you were Amish in another life.”

“No. And I don’t think so,” Grace said, trying to concentrate on her segment and a news feature. It was hard enough to focus after Ryan sent the sweet, cryptically romantic note and the roses. The fascination over her personal mystery however was getting tiresome.

“Ok. Well, our security officer brought this over from the station. It’s your stuff from the accident. The car is in impound, but there’s not much to see. I don’t know if I would.”

Grace began to tremble as she stared at it, but she hid the emotions and pasted a smile on her face. Finishing her work, she thanked her friend and grabbed the roses. “We should be figuring out what Ryan is up to,” she said on the way out.

__________________________________________

“It’s something called dyslexia,” Masie explained to Beth. “That’s why Sammy having a hard time with writing and reading because the brain is getting things backward. There are some exercises we can do. I am sure he’ll be caught up in no time.”

“So I’m not dumb?” Sammy said.

“Like I’ve said all along, no. You’re very smart.”

Sammy brightened and hugged her. “You’re the best teacher I have ever had!”                                                   

“She really didn’t have your patience,” Beth said gratefully. “I am really glad you agreed to teach. You have a gift. Can we give you a ride back home?”

“I’m glad,” Masie smiled. She winked at Jeremiah in the doorway. “Danke, but I have a ride. Have a good weekend.”

Masie smiled curiously as they came to a house near the briar patch. “This is so beautiful, Jeremiah. What is this?”

Jeremiah helped her out of the buggy and led her into the house. The dining table was set with a beautiful china pattern. Jeremiah had made a roast. It smelled and looked perfect. Jeremiah took her hand and gazed at her. He gulped. “I know you probably don’t remember what I asked you before, but I am hoping this will be our home. This china can be set for us when we have family dinners. When you first came home and we went for the walk, you said you loved the berry patches and apple trees and all; I was awful glad ‘cause I’d been building and dreamin’ of this forever.”

Masie’s joy brimmed over and she couldn’t wait to settle his nerves. “Jeremiah, I’d love to marry you. I’m so blessed that you wanted to build a life with me here. I can’t wait to share this life with you.”

Jeremiah exhaled with relief. He served her first. “I’ll be a gut husband, Masie."

Masie laughed. "I'll hold you to that," she said as they bowed to pray.

_________________________________________

“I can’t believe you even made porch swing,” Masie said as they rocked and pointed out the constellations.

“We’ll be married just in time for the harvest,” Jeremiah said.

“I can’t wait. I’ve always wanted a fall wedding.” they could smell smoke. “We didn’t light the fireplace or leave the stove going?”

“Nein,” Jeremiah said, double-checking. Next door, there were flames coming from the neighbor’s house.

“Jeremiah! It’s Graham!” She ran to the house and bust through the door, searching. She found the elderly man collapsed in her chair. Jeremiah was at her side to help. The rafters crackled. The smoke was engulfing and the heat intense. Her eyes stung and it was hard to breathe but they made it safely outside. An English neighbor had called 911 as Masie collapsed onto the ground. “Mom! Dad!”

“Masie, it’s all right,” Jeremiah said. “It’s not your parents’ house. It’s Graham’s. But he’ll be fine.”

Masie shook her head and coughed. “I’m not Masie.” Her world went black.

__________________________________________

Grace wished that her parents were still alive so she could break the news ad share this moment. A few days after she woke up, Ryan broke the news gently about their death in the house fire. She was so glad they could build a family. She searched for her journal and a pen so that she could record the moment. Grace searched under the bed and found the box, wondering if she’d stored her journal there. She opened it, curious as to why there were a cache of letters addressed to her in her own handwriting. Letter after letter mentioned Masie's life in the Amish community of Sunrise.

Grace put down the letters and stared at the bag that was returned to her. She exhaled a breath and emptied its contents, including the folder. Memory slammed her. She ran out of the room and knocked on Ryan’s door.

“What’s wrong?” he asked when he saw her on the verge of collapse. He helped her inside to the sofa.

“My memories are coming back.

“That’s great. Grace!”

Grace turned white and began to shake. “No, it’s not. I’m not Grace.”

To be continued….