May the Fourth Be With You! Surprise Story!

Just Another Death Star (a StarWars/Marvel fan-parody)

Hey, Reeders! Just a fun story for anyone who likes Marvel and Star Wars, even though I'm probably the ONLY person on Reedsy who watches both. Anyway, enjoy!

Luke flew through dark space in his x-wing. He had to get to the center of the Death Star before it was too late. Lasers blasting, the enemy was on his tail, and he could tell one of them was his father, Darth Vader. They had built yet another Death Star, and were threatening to blow up Tatooine. 

Luke took a hard left as an orange ship appeared in front of him. It must’ve gone through hyperspace! He heard crashes behind him, and saw that he was not alone. A glowing person sped through the sky, just like in the stories his mom used to tell him. 

“What the-” Luke started to say before he heard the voice of Obi Wan. 

“Luke, trust your instincts!” Obi Wan’s voice said, echoing into the depths of space. 

He hated when Obi Wan just talked in his head! It was just a broken record over and over. Use the force this, and trust your instincts on that. All day, every day! But Luke slowed down anyway. Maybe this glowing figure could help him. 

“Luke, I have a bad feeling about this!” Han’s voice came in through his helmet as Chewy grunted in agreement. 

“I’ll be fine, guys! Just keep them off my tail.” Luke turned his microphone off. “Hey! R2! What is that thing over there?” 

R2 squeaked back, and Luke looked to the translator for help. 

“It has an unusually high radiation, like it’s a planet. Nothing in the database can tell me what it is.” The translator read, in a staticky, recorded voice. 

“Thanks, R2, but I think we'll have to see for ourselves what this is.” Luke slowed down the X-Wing in a small space in the exterior of the Death Star, making sure he wasn’t being followed. Hopefully Han and Chewy could hold them off long enough. The sounds of battle in the distance only made Luke more panicky. 

As soon as the X-Wing had landed, Luke hopped out of the ship, bringing R2 with him. If the ship blew up, he didn’t want R2 in there. The glowing figure had landed in the crevice, too, and Luke could see now that it was a woman. Her outfit was red, gold, and blue with a star decoration on the collar. 

“Who are you?” He asked, cautiously. 

“I’m Carol Danvers, and I am here to save your galaxy. And who are you?” 

“I’m Luke, Luke Skywalker. Nice to meet you.” Luke was confused. No one in the entire galaxy was named Carol. So, who was this? “Are you part of the Resistance?” 

“The resistance? No, I don’t know what that is. I used to be a Kree, but I figured out that the Krull were good, and now I’m helping out other galaxies. Also, is the dude in black good or bad, because he keeps choking people?” Luke gaped at Carol as she said this. What were Kree and Krull? They sounded like foreign animals. She was definitely not from here. 

As Luke was about to ask her where she was from, the big, orange, and dented ship from before came out of nowhere.  

“Hey, Quill! I thought you said this was Morag!” A voice said from inside the ship. 

“Hey! It’s not my fault he pressed the wrong button!” Another voice (Luke assumed it was Quill) exclaimed. 

“What button was I supposed to press?” Said a deep, but confused voice. 

“No button, Drax! It’s MY SHIP! I PRESS THE BUTTONS!!!” The first voice yelled. 

“No, ACTUALLY, I’m the CAPTAIN! So, I should be pressing the buttons!” The second voice argued back. 

Luke was just getting more confused, and Carol even looked a bit concerned. 

“I am Groot!” A scratchy voice said. 

“Shut up, Tree!!!” The first voice yelled back. 

“Are you jealous, rabbit?!” Someone else asked teasingly. 

“No, you shut up! This IS my-!” The ‘rabbit’ started to protest. 

“Boys! Look, we’re not alone! There are other beings outside!” Said an annoyed female voice. 

“Gamora is right. For once.” Another voice said, but this one was more robotic. 

A head peeked out of the ship, but it was blue with lots of metal sticking out. Luke wondered if they were using a fake head, or if there was just an alien in there. 

He turned his microphone back on. “Han! Chewy! You guys should come see this!” 

“Kid, we can’t dilly-dally! This hunk of junk is going to blow up your home!” Han sounded annoyed. 

“I know, but this is important. Send the rest of the Red Fleet in to cover you. Luke out.” He turned his microphone off and removed his helmet. R2 squeaked in protest. 

The people in the ship started walking out before Luke could ask R2 what was wrong. The first was a guy with a creepy mask, weirdly-shaped guns, and a t-shirt with letters that Luke couldn’t read. Next came a small furry creature, a grey person with red markings and knives, a pale girl with glowing antenna, a green lady with daggers, a literal walking tree, and a blue lady with metal pieces all over her. The blue lady must’ve been the head Luke saw earlier! He had never seen these people around before, so where in the galaxy did they come from? 

Luke was about to ask them when the guy in the mask said, “Who the **** are you?” 

“Hey! Watch your language around the tree, Quill!” The furry creature yelled angrily. 

“How can you watch language?” The grey dude asked. The rest of their crew just rolled their eyes. 

“I’m Luke-” Luke wasn’t finished introducing himself when Carol interrupted. 

“Hey! Nice to meet you, I’m Carol Danvers.” She stuck her hand out to shake, but they just looked at her like she was crazy. 

Luke heard a ship in the distance, so he quickly pulled out his light saber. When he saw it was only the Millenium Falcon, and not Darth Vader, he put it away to greet his friend. Han came out with his hands up in the air, and only when Luke turned around, he realized why. All the people from the ship were pointing their weapons at Luke and Han, and Carol had started glowing again. 

“Hey! This is Han, he’s a friend.” Luke said, annoyed that the newcomers were bossing them around. 

“An enemy of our friend is a friend.” Grey-dude said. 

“Yeah!” The antenna-lady agreed. 

“No, Drax! It’s a friend of our enemy is an enemy!” Quill argued. 

“I am Groot.” The tree said. Luke was surprised the tree could talk! Let alone walk! 

“See? Exactly!” 

Chewy suddenly came out and grunted loudly. The others looked startled, like they had never seen a Wookie before. 

“It’s okay, Chewy! These idiots wouldn’t dare dent up this baby right here.” Han patted the Falcon as he talked. 

“What the **** is that? I’ve never seen anything as hairy!” Quill said snootily. 

“It’s called a dog, stupid!” The blue lady retorted. 

“Nebula, so smart! Tell me, how did you get here again?” Quill rolled his eyes dramatically. 

“I got here because of your stupidity.” Nebula smirked. 

“Break it up, ***holes” The furry thing sounded bored. “Hey, how much for the cool light-stick?” It added, pointing to Luke’s light saber. 

“Well, you can’t have it.” Luke said, matter-of-factly. 

“Why not?” 

“Because you’re not a Jedi.” Luke said, confused. Doesn’t this thing know the rules of the Jedi? 

“What’s a Jedi? Is it some sort of weapon?” The furry thing was getting really annoying now. 

Han sighed impatiently, “Don’t we have a Death Star to blow up? Come on, we don’t have all day!” 

Luke was glad for the distraction. He hopped back into his X-Wing, and soon realized that he forgot R2. He walked back to grab R2, but Carol stopped him. 

“I think you’ll need my help with blowing this thing up.” She said as R2 made whirring noises that sounded like purring. 

“Alright, you can help. All that we need to do is get them off,” he pointed at the strange people, “and blow this thing up from its core.” 

“Who’s blowing stuff up, because I want to come too!” The small, furry thing yelled. 

Luke sighed and led R2 back to his X-Wing.  

“Time to get this show on the road!” Quill yelled. 

“What are you showing on this road?” Drax asked. 

“It’s an expression!” 

Luke put his helmet on to block out the noise, and he turned his microphone back on, once again. 

“Red five, check!” He said, waiting for Han’s response. 

“Uh, orange yellow twenty!” He heard Quill say. 

Han finally responded with a laugh. “This is Han and Chewy, check!” 

“Carol, check!” 

He heard the furry thing shout, “Alright, let’s go blow some **** up!” As Chewy grunted approval. 

They sped through space, and as Luke and Han pointed out the weak spots, Carol and the weird aliens would blow it up. They got through the spots with minimal arguments until finally, they reached the last one. The last one was at the center, and it was too small of a space for any ship. 

“I got this one, boys!” Carol exploded with bright light and propelled herself through space and the small crack. 

They waited in tense silence for something to happen, and after what felt like hours, they heard an explosion. Suddenly, the death star lit up like a Christmas tree. Light exploded outwards, and the Death Star was pulverized instantly. 

Luke heard cheering, and he joined in. Soon, they had destroyed all of the enemy ships with no argument. Luke invited the others into the Falcon, and they celebrated. This was one of the happiest days for the rebels, as they now had an advantage over the Empire. 

If you actually read this, comment a 🎧!