Is This Really you Joe?

Joe prescribed to his own theory that all class reunions were bullshit.  They stood as a testament to social discourse while advertising as a social event.  All lies.

I mean, who in hell would want to meet up with people you barely knew during high school or college?  Who? I’ll tell you who. Those kids you knew who grew up to be successful and want to shove their success down your throat.  So no, Joe!  You are not going to your high school reunion.

Joe went to tear up his invitation but stopped.  How did they know my address?   I wasn’t even in the yearbook.  I’m not on Facebook, Twitter or Linkedin so who found me?  

He had his suspicions.  Debra Winston immediately came to his mind.  She was always a social bitch in high school and probably brought her one and only skill to and through her college years treading on people’s privacy, spreading that privacy out among the public then denying all claims she was the perpetrator.  She was an introvert going extrovert when it came to dishing out gossip or updates about her fellow classmates.  

Therein lies the problem Joe.  Social concentric circles with Debra being in the center.  I remember too well how her gang of social misfits walked the halls with their ears wide open catching even the tiniest bit of this or that about someone. Example..  If I took a piss during homeroom everyone knew about it by first period History class.  

So no! I’m not going to my tenth high school reunion as much as I want to shove my success down everyone’s throat.  

Again he went to rip the invitation up, but stopped.

“Hilda!”

“What?” Hilda, Joe’s wife,  replied from the kitchen. 

“Would you like to go my high school’s tenth reunion on July 7^th?”

“Why would I want to do a crazy thing like that for?”

Hilda entered the living room wiping her hands with a dish towel.  “Besides. I went to my sixth year high school reunion.  Remember?”

“Oh yeah.  You reminded me of Sissy Spacek in the movie ‘Carrie’ when you came home.  All disheveled and such.”

“It was raining that night Joe.  What did you expect.  Blood?  Anyhow, it was just a drag.  People I despised in high school coming up to me and asking what  I was  doing now with a fake smile and fake interest.”

Hilda walked over to the high back chair Joe was sitting in and took his Tom Collins he was holding.  She took a drink.  “Lisa Jorgens, who I hated in high school, came up to me and honestly, I thought she was going to pick her nose just to make sure I saw her diamond engagement ring and wedding band.”

“Too funny.”

“No. Too sad that she would have to go to such extremes to show off her ring. As if I cared.  I mean, in high school she wasn’t even a thing so to speak.”

“Well someone must have found her attractive.”

Hilda returned the glass to Joe and sat on the chair’s arm.  She lifted her left hand to her nose then waved it in front of Joe’s eyes.  “Besides, I love my rock. Don’t you?”

“Let me get a magnifying glass.”

“Don’t try to be coy with me. I’m serious. I love my ring and wouldn’t trade it in if you said let’s go buy a 10 carat diamond.”  She leaned over and kissed his forehead. 

“How’s this then.  We go to Cartier’s, I put a huge diamond ring on my credit card, we go to the reunion and you wave your hand about so everyone could see it.  Oh, we take my Porsche or rent a Bentley instead. The next day we return everything.”

Hilda stood up.  “You’re kidding, right?”

He finished off what was left of his drink. “Of course.  But the point is, reunions are just for the bling;  show off your stuff, your wife or husband, car and conceal the fact you’re a dull and tarnished person who’s no better than anyone else. Right?”

“True. But some of them see it as a chance to re-unite with friends they may not have seen in years.  You know, there are people out there who did have friends in high school.”

“Well, I wasn’t one of them.  I can only remember two or three people from high school.  And of those two, one died four years ago from a heroin overdose.  Ben Mack.  He never stopped using and died at forty.”

“ Scary isn’t it. How some people never change.” She took Joe’s empty glass.  “Want another?”

“Naw. I have to finish staining the stairway’s  baseboard while the weather’s good.  I need the windows open to air out the fumes.”

He took his invitation  as if weighing it in his hand.  “It might be fun though in a twisted mocking way. You know, go with the intent the whole show is a joke.  We’ll concoct some back stories about our lives.  Oh, got one already. If anyone ask me ‘How did you and Hilda meet?’  I can say I woke up next to you in your bed after a night of hard drinking.”

“Thanks. So now you’re going to make me out as some slut. No way.  What if someone ask me about you?  I’ll say, well that’s a sad question.  One morning I went to take the bus to work and there Joe was reeking of drink with a cup out asking people for money. I felt sorry for him. Took him home, washed him, feed him, de-loused him,  bought him some new clothes and gave him fifty dollars and sent him on his way.  Like a stray dog he was at my door passed out.”

“Okay. I get the picture. Tic for Tat.”  Joe stared at the invitation.  Opened it and re-read it.  “You know I think I remember reading something about Johan Karlsson, Nilsseen  or some such in the local newspaper that he inherited his father’s company worth. Ready for this?”

“I’m holding my breath.”

“Three billion. That was a year or so ago.  Then it dawned on me.  This is the same kid I saved from getting his ass kicked by a senior one day in the high school’s  cafeteria.  He was a Junior and I was on my second term as a senior.  That’s right, second term.  This tall guy comes up to Johan and just starts pushing him about. He grabs Johan shirt and literally lifted him off the ground until they come to a big pane glass window of the cafeteria.  He then punched Johan. Johan’s head went backwards, hits the glass and shattered it.”

“I’m intrigued.  You always weave a good yarn. Do go on.”

“I’m serious. It was the weirdest thing. I’m sitting at a table with Joan, the second person I remember from high school, watching this tall guy bullying Johan thinking something is going to go bad and then, when Johan’s head hit the glass, the next thing I knew I had the tall guy on the floor and was slapping him about until some teacher pulled me off him.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean. It was all blank. I’m sitting there and Wham! I’m on top of the guy.  Somebody later told me I jumped over two tables to get to the guy.  Two tables.”

Hilda walks up to Joe and embraces him. “You’re my hero.”

“Cute. So now I’m thinking.  I should go.”

She pushes away from Joe. “What?”

“Yeah. I never found out why this guy was pounding on Johan. I did find out the kid's name though. Mike Randolph. Yeah, big bad Mike." Joe pauses, looks at his empty glass. "You know, I bet Johan will be at the reunion.  He was that type of person. Trying to be friendly with everyone. Had a lot of friends or I thought he did. What’s the worst that could happen?”

“He won’t remember that day.”

“Well, if he’s there I’ll remind him of the incident.  I’m damn curious now.  You know what else was sorta funny?”

“They gave you a medal for valor.”

“I was called into the principal office. Johan was there too.  We both went in together and Principal Logan, an odd man, always straight faced. Showing no..”

“Can you get on with this. I have a roast in the oven.”

“Showing no emotion.  He reaches over his desk and extends his hand out to me. ‘I want to thank you Joe for preventing a worse case scenario.  Thank you.’

I shake his hand. Johan shakes mine and thanks me through his busted lip. I lean back and remember thinking, what just happened?  This is the same guy who kicked me out of high school for excessive truancy.”  

“And the point is?”

“I’m going. I’m going to ask Johan why that asshole Mike was beating on him.  Think. If he is there and he remembers, we might become friends.  Hell, if he’s worth billions I might get something out of him. After all, I did save his ass that day.”

“Joe. Really?  Come on.  You’re not even like that.”

“Like what?”

“You know. Deceitful. Dirty. Greedy. Are you?”

Joe took her hands and looked her straight in her eyes.

“Yes.”