Yours Truly

8:55PM Dec 20, 2019

Subject: Your glances

Dear Linda,

I have been noticing you have been casting very mysterious looks towards my cubicle throughout the day. Is there something you want to tell me? Please feel free to reach out.

Thank You

Awaiting your reply

Yours truly,

Nathan Cosa

Software Testing Department

01:04AM Dec 21, 2019

Subject: Who are you?

Dear Mr. Cosa,

I have no idea who u are. I have nvr had any business with the Software Testing Dept. I do not even knw how you look, nor do I care to. 

Please refrain from talking to strangers, only because you know their organisational email id. 

Especially, refrain from using first names.

Thank You.

Linda

01:06AM Dec 21, 2019

Subject: We will talk it out

Dear Linda,

I gather that you felt uneasy at my queries and I understand that you would prefer to make a more decent and polite acquaintance over the weekend. I will be happy to have a conversation with you at your convenience. Maybe even have dinner sometime :)

Thank You

Awaiting your reply

Yours truly,

Nathan Cosa

Software Testing Department

02:15AM Dec 21, 2019

Subject: Awaiting your reply

Dear Linda,

It might have missed your notice but I had mentioned in my previous email that I was awaiting your reply. Please reply at your earliest convenience, when you would like us both to get acquainted.

Thank You

Awaiting your reply

Yours truly,

Nathan Cosa

Software Testing Department

03:46AM Dec 21, 2019

Subject: Good Night

Dear Linda,

You must have fallen asleep. I saw you were working tirelessly in the office. In the break time of one hour, you returned within 48 minutes. You seem like a very hardworking individual as it is. I am happy you prioritize your sleep over your personal relations.

May I suggest listening to soul music before sleeping? It soothes the mind and helps you relax the right way, so you wake up feeling refreshed and energized.

Have a good night's sleep.

Sweet dreams. Take care.

Not awaiting your reply ( hehe, rofl :P )

Thank you

Yours always,

Nathan Cosa

Software Testing Department

Good Night!

09:12AM Dec 21, 2019

Subject : O>>M>>G>>

Hey Mr. Cosa,

I am nt interested in any acquaintance with you.

You'll do better to stay away from me. Good day.

09:16AM Dec 21, 2019

Subject: It's okay. We've all been there

Dear Linda,

A very good morning. I understand that you did not sleep very well. This could largely be because I was late in suggesting that soulful music can help you sleep. I accept full responsibility of the fault and am ready to apologize to you personally.

Have a great weekend.

Thank You

Yours truly,

Nathan Cosa

Software Testing Department

01:00PM Dec 21, 2019

Subject : Any plans for the weekend?

Dear Linda,

I find myself being stupidly late but could not resist the urge to enquire.

As mentioned in one of my previous emails (Subject: We will talk it out, sent at - 01:06AM Dec 21, 2019), I would be interested to have dinner with you. If you do not have many plans tomorrow, what say you have your Sunday brunch at my place? 

Anyways, the snowfall has been devastating for all of us. It's going to be a boring week as the weather forecast only expects it to increase. So why not make the best of your time, by meeting as early as possible.

My mumma bakes the best pies every Sunday. Tomorrow, it is the 'cherry pie' Sunday. I know you like cherries by how you were devouring those little red tiny fruits when our colleague Gordon gave them to you.

I will send you the address to my residence in this email. I will also attach a photograph of my house that I had clicked from the road last month. My mumma is the one sitting in the lawn. (She is the one on the right, not on the left - that's Angel, our Pomeranian. Hope you don't confuse them. LOL!)

A taxi will be waiting for you, 8 o'clock tomorrow morning, outside your house. You can be carefree of the snow, the driver will take care of it. Just pick up a sweater while you leave.

Trust me the pie is worth cheating the weather. You shall enjoy it very much.

Thank You

Awaiting your reply

Yours faithfully,

Nathan Cosa

18 Cortelyou Ave, Staten Island, NY 10312, New York

P.S. Remember to take the right when you see Bubbles' Antique Shop on the corner street.

Happy Saturday!

06:09PM Dec 21, 2019

Subject: Is this a joke?

Mr. Nathan Cosa,

Is this a joke? Or are you pulling a prank on me? I have my own plans for the weekend. So stop with your nonsense. The block is button is literally popping out of the screen at me right now.

06:12PM Dec 21, 2019

Subject : What joke?

Dear Linda,

This is not a joke. My mumma really does make the best pies. You'll know when you taste them. You'll know how much you love it when mumma feeds it to you with her own hands. So, no. I am not kidding.

Regarding the other aspect of your previous email (the one I am replying to right now), I gather that you have made other plans for your weekend. I must say I am truly shocked with this development. How can you risk leaving the house in such trying weather. Also, why did you not inform me about it? You could have said something to me before I told my mumma about it. She just brought five packets of frozen cherry from Walmart. I hope you can understand and manage your plans.

As a solution to your problems, I am ready to sort them for you. I was known as the smartest kid in our block while growing up, so you can bring me any problem and I will have the solution for it. So pray, tell me your plans for tomorrow afternoon and we will find a way around it. So you stay safe from the weather, my mumma gets to feed you her pie, and you get to enjoy it happily. 

Don't worry, everything will be fine. We'll get through it.

Thank You

Awaiting your reply

Yours truly, 

Nathan Cosa

Software Testing Department

09:16PM Dec 21, 2019

Subject: RE: What joke?

Who tf do you think you are? Do not try to be a smart-ass. Just fo! You and your fuckin' mom can just go fuck yourselves!!!

09:18PM Dec 21, 2019

Subject: I am sorry to call off our plans

Dear Linda,

It was not at all polite the way you talked about my mumma. I shall not tolerate this misbehavior at all. It seems you have had too much intoxication at your party in the bar tonight (Yes, I saw your Facebook post; HOW CAN YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE? That was too careless of you). You first make external plans for the day before even informing me? I still tolerated that. But this? Using such words for my mumma? I cannot tolerate this at any cost.

I am very saddened to inform you that I am having to call off our plans for tomorrow's brunch. I know you will be deeply hurt by this, but using derogatory language about my mother will not be tolerated in this house. I have already sent your email to our boss, for him to see how much respect his employees have, to offer to their elders. I shall be his witness in this entire ordeal.

I am sorry but I will never be able to forgive you Linda. You have broken my trust.

Yours faithfully,

Nathan Cosa

Software Testing Department

P.S. You can come to my home and personally apologize to my mumma and me. That is the only way I can ever forgive you. The taxi would be waiting at your doorstep - 8 a.m. tomorrow morning.