Symptoms of the Sun

Submitted into Contest #92 in response to: Write about a character who thinks they have a sun allergy.... view prompt


Contemporary Funny

Why is it every time I go outside during the day I sneeze? No matter what building I come out of, no matter what vehicle I come out of, I sneeze upon entering sunlight. It's not just one sneeze either, it's two or three in succession.

Oh, and no matter what, when I am outside in the sun, I change color! Now, if I just go out for a few minutes, it is not very noticeable, but the longer I stay out, the worse it gets. Depending on the length of time I am outside, I can range from pink to dark red, and I have witnessed others with the same skin conditions go from dark red to dark red with small and large blisters!

One of the worst things that is noticeable is the mood changes! The warmer it is, and the more humid it is, I start to get grumpy. Not just because it is hot and humid, NO, because of what happens to my body! It starts leaking from everywhere! The longer I stay outside, I become covered in a liquid protective layer that my body produces! My clothes become wet, and start sticking to me. I try to pull the fabric away from my skin, but then it just sticks in another area. So, I start to take off some of the layers, but I'm in public so it's not like I can take them all off. No matter what, there is always a layer of clothes that is glued to some part of my anatomy. Even the 2 underarm areas that require a special application that is supposed to eliminate any form of moisture. There are one or two special areas that are covered in layers, underneath the outer garments. These are the parts that you really wish could breathe a little and are the most restricted! Even if you are able to squat, when you stand up everything slides back together. You can lift your chest extremities, but they always flop back to their natural position, and the bandage that surrounds them never dries. On the parts of the skin that are exposed the sheen is very slick, and even comes from my hands. I cannot hold on to anything! Which makes drinking quite a task, but I have to drink because I am so thirsty. Of course the only thing that quenches the thirst is water, but the more I drink, the more I sweat! It is a never ending cycle, and I am still hot!

It gets worse! I get tired, so tired! I lack any motivation to do anything. I just want to lie around and do nothing. The only thing I can even think about doing is immersing my body into a large vat of cool water. There are many large watering holes, but you have to be outside to use them! Yes, you have to go out, into the Sun to be near the water that could potentially cool you. I say potentially because there is no guarantee the water will cool you. Not only does the Sun cause my body to illicit strange responses to its rays, so too does it affect the water! You enter the watering hole to cool thine burning flesh only to be immersed in what can only be described as bath water. Another problem with going to the pools or beaches is that there are SO many people! It's like the hot and humid amplifies at these specific locations. Some people seem to be as affected with the same issues I am having, but others display different outward symptoms from being outside. Let me give you a couple of examples of how different groups develop different telltale signs of being exposed to the Sun.

There are smaller versions of adult people, who seem to have produced a white layer of skin from head to toe. They are usually laughing and playful. However, under the Sun's direct influence for an extended period of time, often begin yelling, screaming, and/or crying. If they are on the beach they are either digging large holes for others to step in or making sand buildings. There are also those who bury themselves up to the neck in the sand. And no matter where they are going, they are always running! They don't care who is around them, and they spray sand everywhere. I can only I assume this is the only method they can use while traversing sand. They also wear large white bottoms that absorb water. This bottom tends to fill rapidly and eventually becomes too burdensome, resulting in the child's nudity.

Another specific group of people are those who dress in the red or blue waterproof underwear. They are seated on mini elevated thrones, and present themselves as some sort of demi-gods. Their thrones are surrounded by many aquatic gifts. There is a giant ring, that floats, an oval or long tube of some sort that is always attached to them with rope, and a long staff that has a gentle metal hook at the end. They have one thing they have in common with the rest of us is that the Sun seems to make them tired as well, as they seem to have the inability to move from the throne, unless it is to move to a different throne. And remember I said the small people have produced a white layer of skin? Will these demi-gods only have one appendage with that same kind of white skin, their nose. The Sun has altered this group in many ways that are noticeably different . For instance, their ability to communicate has been altered. They are only able to blow into a small metal contraption that emits a high pitched chirp, and their skin is dark, not pink or red.

I am not sure what is wrong with me or why I have developed these symptoms, but it only happens when I am exposed to the sun, especially during the summer months! I am obviously not the only one affected either. It seems only the demi-gods have figured out a way to alleviate most of the side effects from exposure to direct sunlight.

May 01, 2021 18:12

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Brittany Gillen
20:44 May 11, 2021

Fidelis - Thank you for sharing your story. I really enjoyed it! I picked to read your story because I was intrigued by the first line. It was a great start. I could hear the sneeze in my head, and I could totally relate to them coming in threes. I also loved the section about the sweat and where it was sticking. You avoidance of the common terms like "deodorant," added a lot of the humor. Well done. I totally felt sticky and hot after reading it. My one piece of feedback is that I wanted some context about why this "person" see...


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Ryan LmColli
17:03 May 10, 2021

Join this: Oh no... ouch. I definitely teared up by the end. I really can’t say enough good things about this story. I’m a Chinese-American young woman - who has a fondness for Mandarin scattered throughout English - so it especially hit hard for me. You captured so many bits of the culture incredibly well: 哥哥, 妈妈, offering food as a comfort tactic. All of it feels so loyal and true to real life. I absolutely love the tie-ins to other Chinese characters too. It’s a funny language. (I created...


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Aloe Plant
15:49 May 08, 2021

I like your use of formal words for the purpose of humor, because, lets be real, a lot of scientific words are much too hoity-toity and quite deserve to be put down. All in all, a great little story!


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Gemma McDonald
12:37 May 08, 2021

This was really good! I just think that if it’s supposed to be a humor type story that you used too formal of words. Like, “...glued to one part of my anatomy” like you could have said, ‘stuck to one part of my body’. You get what I’m saying? I don’t know, but it was really really good!


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