Hope will linger till eternity.

She laughs at something that I mock, really badly incredibly laugh, she rolls her head back and incline from loud laughs but she was fading with the music vibrating my ear drums, I knew this music but it is strange and irritating. She is laughing and fading with the obnoxious music pitching higher and my eyes swung open by some insane oscillating object fixed inside this mobile phone. The unknown number flashes across the screen at 3 Am which utterly deserves to be ignored so I give sense to red sign and roll onto other side throwing phone in nowhere after putting it on silent. 

                               Another reason for ignoring this phone call was the chagrin that it pushed into my spine through disturbing my dream. She was once again laughing at some unknown, surely weird, thing I utter her, like back to that last night when our cherish seemed so real despite all the things we were being through. That night I thought we were moving forward from the mishap of her miscarriage happened from our fight over unusable, unworkable and stupid things. 

 I accepted I was guilty but she was as at fault as me, I kept asking her,or maybe fighting, her to take a break from work to take care of that organism fertilizing in her womb instead she fight me back and felt as I was resisting her from her job and trying to captive in the house . She didn’t understand me nor did I tried to give her understatement and we did fight for the same thing from different point of views that completely drag us to the miscarriage, we were barely talking after miscarriage but that night when she offered a tea to me in small patio of our house and I make every possible effort to make her laugh and she did, so I thought we are moving past this thing until spontaneously she snatched every possible thing I could be ever happy for, 

“Faris! I came here to talk about something!” She hesitated so I held her hand betwixt my palm but she pulled it away and grab the mug in her hand instead. 

“Tell me!” I insisted, 

“Look. Faris I... umm... The pain I have been through was a lot to bear and I... ughh.. I tried my best to move past all this but.... I... I can’t. I am sorry.” A tear escaped from her eyes and my heart sink receiving an indication. 

“wh- what are you trying to tell?”  

“Separation is the last thing that can happen so I am leaving, I am sorry.” she sobbed and stood to run away but I grab her arm hardly and make her to face me. 

“Why? Zoya why? We can try to move forward.” I look into her eyes and her small body struggle to get out of my strong grip, “I am sorry, Zoya. Don’t leave please. What would I become if you leave me? I can’t stand to leave you. Pleased don’t leave me. I am guilty, I accept it, I am sorry. Please don’t leave Zoya. We can move through all this shit!” 

“No. No. We can’t!” She yelled and pushed herself away but I held her from both arms, 

“Yes, we can. You either don’t want to leave me.” I screamed, 

“You made me miserable, Faris.” She shouted and my grip loosen itself as she ran away. 

Standing in that small patio alone, her words, harsh and spiny words, penetrated into me as poniards and my each segment was collapsing into nowhere, but I should try to stop her even if she won't, and collecting my every falling piece I ran to her to find her in bedroom zipping the bags and weeping badly, 

“Why are you leaving if this is so hard for you?” I asked across the door, 

“Because staying here is much harder,” she told, 

“and miserable” I added, “I am not giving you a divorce until when I am not prepared for it.” She just gently nodded on my statement, I thought she would fight for it as well but maybe she is tired of anymore fights.  

I held her bags and we paced out of the house. I set her bags in the back of taxi and as she was about to climbed inside, I blocked her way and she looked up at me in query. 

“Won’t you give me a last hug?” I smiled in her eyes, 

“This last hug is your last urge to stop me.” She slightly smiled back at me. 

“I love you!” I mumbled, 

“Always!” She replied and jumped in the car as I gave her way. 

Then we never saw each other and I was sure we will never meet when I tried to talk her through emails,

Don’t make it hard for me to work my life from your messages. 

I received her reply. Then I never contacted her. 

And now I was falling asleep all over again wishing to meet her in the dream, once more. 

     My alarm clock shouts at 6:45 Am but my pounding head isn’t allowing me to walk, I should call off, my sneezes alerts but where’s my phone, ah! I found it near the couch on floor and as I lit screen, the spider web cracked screen show up the 21 missed calls from the same anonymous number from last night. Someone is so desperate. I call the desperate phone number and on the second ring I hear nothing, 

“Yes? Who is there?” I ask across the phone, 

“Faris.” Someone sobs, and I know who this someone is. 

“Zoya.!??” my Zoya, I can detect her voice in million or more, “what happen why are you crying?” 

She weeps more and it was so unexpected and totally unbelievable, 

“Zoya say something please.” 

“Can I come to your place, I have nowhere to go.” She whines, 

“Of course, you can sweetheart. That’s your own home. Where are you? I shall come to pick you up.” 

“I am in the town already, I will drive myself but Are you sure?” 

“Just stop thinking, baby. I am waiting.” I tell her, 

“Don’t drop the call, please.” and after I tell her okay, we keep talking while she drive and I clean up the house and spray one of the most expensive perfumes I have been gifted, I ran out like a child when she tell me she has arrive and with both of our hands to our phone we watch at each other whining faces,

“What have you done to you?” I question through the phone standing 10 feet apart and instead of replying she reaches me and immediately falls in my feet after throwing her phone so did I and we cries in each other arm ignoring that we are at the gate and every passerby is getting a show but who cares. 

“I feel grateful you came back.” I gave her a glass of water and sit beside her, pulling her into a hug and kisses on her temple. 

“I have nowhere else to go. I am not trying to use you but I really missed you and meeting you was desperately necessary for me in this moment, didn’t you miss me?” she looks into my eyes, 

“Yes, a lot. I thought of pulling back you to me but you said I make you miserable.”

"Shut up. I was stupid." She lean into my chest to hide her face, 

"Sure, you are still.” I pull her cheek and I was reward with a smile, Oh My God, that was the thing I was lacking in my life. 

“I Love you, stupid.” I plant a kiss on top of her head and she look up at me with a smile painted on her mouth. 

“I missed you a lot. I didn’t realize it until that last patio night, when you were trying to make me laugh pretending nothing happened, began to come in my dream.” My heart skips a beat knowing that we both were at the same path. 

“I was having the same dream, you know? But you fade away every time. Please don’t leave this time.” I request and her eyes are filling up with the flood of tears again. I catch as a single tear escape from her eyes and then every else rushing tear. 

“I am sorry Faris. I can’t promise you. I don’t have much time.” The trepidation takes into my nerves and I push myself away. 

“What... What do you mean by that?” I panic, 

“I am ill. I am going to die. Zoya Faris is going to be gulp by death soon.” She whines, “I am infected by HIV- AIDS, that’s what make my body and face weak, I was admitted in the hospital for 7 months and doctors were endeavoring to treat me. I thought it would get better and I will be back with you. I thought everything would be back to normal but my all fairy tales broke when Doctors told me that they are no more going to give me false hope of life and the ultimate death will be my end but I wished to meet you before I would die and fight them to let me meet you, with a lot of trouble I was discharged from the hospital and searched every possible place where I could find your contact. I just wanted to see your face even if you were going to yell at me, I will just beg to let me meet you, look at your face for last time. I didn’t expect this much, I thought maybe you will just smile to me but here we are sitting so close, sharing over dreams and you are trying to convince me to promise to stay but I can’t promise long, I am going to die. I am so helpless Faris, I am sick, almost dead.” She mourns as loud as her body allowed. 

    I am helpless too, I already entirely dead, Zoya. I wanted to tell her but I was losing every courage but no I should be strong for her, for her life and mines as well. I go close to her and equally cried in her neck as she did. 

   I don’t know for how long we are here together but I am sure no death can chase us until she is in my arms and maybe we humans can’t show a miracle but we can see miracle because we are controlled by the God that is miracle Himself so hope will be linger betwixt our palms as long as we are holding each other's, till eternity.