A Change to Pursue

“Must I always do this?”

“Can’t I just have them in there?”

“Wherever. My head or my mind.” These were the thoughts filtering through Jason’s mind.

“Well, it’s better to have them written down. I can always go back to update myself and make a review.”

Jason Page is having a hard time deciding on whether to have a to do-list written down. He has been in and out on this. Precisely, he hasn’t done it for a while in the reason that he hasn’t found it effective. It’s been the same old story. It’s been the same unaccomplished tasks. It’s been the same pursuit and strivings. Nothing seems to have changed to him. It’s been slow. The odds haven’t been in his favour. Things have been coming in parts. He can’t lay hold of a hugely obvious change. He's tired of the whole scenario. It’s been frustrating. He has struggled with bouts of depression. He feels like running somewhere and get lost in a place unknown. Life’s been suicidal. Death isn’t a threat either.

“Hello! Are you there?”

“Hello dad!”

“How are you?”

“Dad, am Ok.”

“What’s going on son?”

“Nothing much dad.”

“Jason, am worried. Am not happy. A times when I lay on my bed and the thought of you come to my mind, I just can’t find sleep anymore. I just toss and turn.”

“Dad! What’s it? Why are you troubled?”

“Son, it’s been ten years you've been out of school. It’s been a decade you've been out on the streets. Sorry please, working. But I can’t see any much difference. You haven’t achieved as much to commiserate your effort. Your peers are all flying high.”

He cuts him short. “Dad! I understand what you’re saying. I can relate with everything you’re saying. But....why the peer talk?”

“Am sorry. But in life it’s your peers you look to appraise yourself and to know if you are really making progress.”

“Dad! Have you forgotten what Abraham Lincoln said?”

“Uh, what did he say?”

“He said, I’m a slow walker but I never walk backwards.”

“I understand. But am not happy with all the slow pace. You should be married by now.” Fred's voice drops low.

“Dad! Please I'll call you later. I'm running late.”

“I’ll be expecting your call. Love you son.”

“Love you too, dad. Bye.”

Jason shakes his head. His father is indeed worried. He has avoided going to see him for a while now. He's tired of his sermons. Although his mother is worried but she has decided to take it easy with him. She doesn’t want to add more burden on him. She a times makes mention of it in the middle of their discussion. She seems to understand him quite well. She seems to be able to see him inside out and relate with his pains. Life has been a long winding road for him.

The door opens. It’s Sandra, Jerry's wife. She opens the door with a warm smile. She’s fond of him. He's one of her husband’s closest friend. It’s either they are spending time together or making long humorous calls on the phone.

“Hi! Jason.”

“Hello! Sandra.”

“Where’s Jerry?”

“He’s upstairs in his study room.”

“Ok. I'll just go right up there and see him.”

“No problem. The choice is yours.”

Jason goes up and finds Jerry busy writing some things on a board. He wonders what he is doing.

“Hey! Hi!” He calls out to him.

“Yeah! Hi Jason!”

“You can have a seat. Just a minute. Let me be done with this.”

Jason takes a seat. “What are you doing?” he asks.

“I’m trying to write my top ten to-do list. It’s my routine every end of the year. It prepares me for the year ahead.”

“Nah! I don’t believe in it. It hasn’t really worked for me. It’s a futile effort.” Jason’s forehead furrows.

Jerry takes a turn. He stares at Jason for a while and asks, “How have you been going about it? Do you just write? Do you go back to the list to evaluate yourself?”

“Nah.... I don’t really do that.”

Jerry turns back and replies, “That’s where you’ve been getting it wrong. It helps a great lot when you go back to the list to do an evaluation.”

Jason stands up and walks up to Jerry to have a view of what he’s writing.

“Are you going to do all these before the coming year ends?”

“Yes, most likely. If there’s a default, it should be in the least priority. But this time around I want to make sure I do all.”

“Wow! That’s a nice aspiration.”

“Thanks for the compliment, buddie.”

“Yeah! You're most welcome.” He puts up a broad smile.

At home, Jason lies on his bed and ponders. Another shot at it will not do any bad. He picks up a cardboard paper and pen and goes ahead to write his to-do list. He runs through the list with excitement. A feat has been accomplished. He’s determined to follow this through.

“Hello!”

“Hey! Hi! Jason. What’s up?”

“Nothing much except that I have written mine also.”

“Wow! Nice one dude!”

“Please make sure you....” Jason cuts him short.

“I want you to come and see it.”

“Do I have to come. You can text, mail or WhatsApp it to me.”

“No, you really need to come and see this.”

“Ok. I'll try.”

“Will be expecting you.”

The next day Jerry stops over at Jason’s place. He was so excited to show him his to-do list. In there he has the following:

1) A better paid job.

2) An apartment.

3) Possibly marriage.

4) Improve my skills.

5) Additional qualifications.

6) Participate in more competitions. Online or otherwise.

7) Serve more and better.

8) Give and assist more.

9) Tour.

10) Buy a Porsche car.

“Wow! That’s a nice one Jason.”

“Thank you buddie.” They both shake hands and embrace.

“But please make sure you evaluate yourself from time to time. It can be monthly, quarterly or semi-annually. Anyone you choose.”

“Ok. I'll try.” Jason nods.

“What’s about item 3? Why possibly marriage? Isn’t it high time you did that?”

“Yeah! Of course. But you know how that hasn’t really worked for me this while. If it comes to be, I'll be glad.”

“It can work just fine. Only be optimistic. Then choose a date and both of you work towards it.”

“Another question I need to ask. Are you ready?”

“Yeah! Definitely I am.” Jason snaps.

“Then where’s she? Haven’t seen anyone yet. Can I get one for you?”

“No! Don’t even bother. I can do that myself.”

“Ok.” He laughs.

"Wow! It's like I omitted something. I didn't include savings!" Jason shouted.

"Yeah! Indeed." Jerry snapped his fingers. "That should be item 4. Really should be."