Home

Everyone who knows me, would tell you one thing , I scratch out the eyes of all those who refuse to accept that I have the world’s greatest pet. I still remember the first day I saw Johnny. It was quite cliche- we met at the local pet store. I was forced there along with my friends who were really excited to get a new pet. I was what they call, a lone wolf, and so I naturally wanted to be left alone. The thought of having a company, forced upon me 24/7, gave me the shudders. I simply stood in the clean pet store, surrounded by barking dogs (they were simply undignified and shameless) , squawking parrots (talk about jerks) and swimming fishes (Hmmm I thought, how it would feel if I had fish for lunch today) and arched my back. Yawning with boredom, I was about to resume my daily routine when suddenly I saw two big brown eyes staring at me from the cage’s iron bars. There are these moments in one’s life, when one simply, hopelessly falls headlong, into a sea of love. I saw this helplessness for me in those big brown eyes, and really I had no choice but to have this pet and enter my new home.

And so started my life of affliction. Everyday was more or less riddled with Johnny’s neediness and his perpetual desire to frolic no matter the time of the day. He had an annoying habit of staying up late at night and waking up even later. It’s a rule in my house that, all members have breakfast, lunch and dinner together. Since the only members in my house were me and Johnny, it was imperative for him to be up, so that I could have my breakfast. Waking up Johnny was a herculean task. No matter how hard I poked, yelled and cuddled him, Johnny’s warm, melting chocolate eyes continued to be screwed up tight shut. The only way to wake him up was to surprise him with a cannon ball, as I did today morning. 

“Mornin” I said to the bleary eyed, tousled haired Johnny. As was the mandate with his species, Johnny didn’t understand even this simple word. Instead, he fixed me with a baleful glare and I knew I was gonna face retribution from him sometime during the day. Johnny was hopeless and almost invalid without me, and there were times I wondered how insipid his life would become if I chose to leave him. He also had the annoying habit of staring at blinky, sparkly surfaces and inanimate objects with intense concentration that made me worry about his mental sanity. I always made it my duty to break this monotony by reaching out and making his life wonderful with my regal presence. After breakfast, it was my usual work time and I wanted to bask myself in the warm sunlight and have a little cat nap. As I am about to chase a bird in my beautiful dream, Johnny bounded up on me with his long reedy legs. Johnny’s bounds have the capacity of waking up even the dead- his arrival is like an earthquake. I realised the threat and tried to make a run for it but Johnny’s love of cream and lasagna had made me quite plump(I am not fat!). I barely managed to take two steps and Johnny was all over me, babbling about in long nasal noises and pure unadulterated gibberish. I tried to wrench myself out of the kisses and the hugs, but I kept getting entangled even further. 

Johnny was a fine member of his species, and like his kind, was unwittingly naive and stupid. I capered around with this dim witted animal and as soon as I saw a break in his cuddle armour, broke free and bounded away. The next 20 minutes or so, was pure cat and mouse play, me ironically playing the part of a mouse. I rolled my eyes, as, in an effort to catch me, Johnny made a fool of himself dancing like a clown. The morning shenanigans had completely disheveled me and I decided to groom myself. I found that its easier for me to concentrate on my work when I am in my best form. I sat in front of the mirror in the bathroom when suddenly Johnny sneaked up on me, and with his big paw, upended an entire pail of water on me. Let me tell you something about myself - I abhor getting wet. But looking at Johnny’s playful wicked brown eyes, I let him get away with this prank.

After this unceremonious bath, I was sure I was gonna have peace and quiet, and finish off my work , for Johnny had decided to bother someone else, and had left the house, looking smart as the devil himself. Little had I realised that, he was gonna bring a girl-another of his species into the house. I watched from the balcony window as Johnny and his lady friend surreptitiously entered the house. I was outraged. Me and Johnny were a family, two lone wolves, two dudes who had a nice time. When did this third being - that too one of opposite sex enter the picture? 

I was distracted by the smell of lasagna wafting from the kitchen door and decided to check it out once. There two two large plates- one was for me of course and the other one for Johnny and now his new lady friend I realised belatedly. I finished my share of the treat and was halfway through Johnny’s share when I saw the lady friend’s owner. She was the colour of milk with eyes full of naughty secrets, that were regarding me with obvious wonder at my handsome looks. Johnny entered the room, scooped me up in his strong arms and crooned “Oh Larry! You big fat naughty cat! Did you finish up the Lasagna’s?” 

I purred at him and my tail quivered in appreciation at his good work- he had finally found me a good feline mate. My heart was singing with joy as I realised that, me and my mate and our two human pets were gonna be a new family living happily ever after.