I am a tree

      I am a tree. Older than the oldest human being. I was around before you were born and will be around once you die. You are me, and I am you. And I have seen many a human throughout my life. When I was just a little sapling, I met my first human. It was tall, but then again, everything was… or I was just little.

           It was tall and had dark skin like the color of my bark. It had fur on its head that was bushy (pun completely intended). It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, and I consider myself beautiful thank you very much! It stopped to catch its breath, but I heard the sound of… hooves? Animals. Lots of them.

           The animals came with more humans sitting atop of them. But the beautiful human ran off before they could see it. I did not like these new humans, they hit their canine friends and they were pale. Sickly. Were they dying? But I never knew because their hooved animals rode away in the direction of the pretty human.

           The older I got the more humans I saw. Once, in my home, a bunch of humans wearing red appeared. They made little shelters like beavers, how cute! Except their shelters were very weak and blew in the wind… So not so much like beavers. I never wanted to meet a beaver, I wanted to live thank you very much!

           One day one of those humans urinated on me, but I didn’t mind. I’ve been urinated on by lots of wolves, so this was no different. I just hope this human knew that it was challenging the wolves’ authority by doing it. Hey, no bark off me, right? But as quickly as these red dressed humans were here, they were gone. Unlike beavers these humans could move their homes. And once they were gone it was like they were never there in the first place. Even the wolf came by and urinated on me!

           Time moved on. Storms came and went; sometimes my brothers and sisters would fall and did indeed make a sound. Once I was old enough bird started nesting in my branches, their babies were so loud. And squirls would jump on and off me all the time! So many friends!

           The next time I saw a human it was two brothers. An older one and a slightly younger one, hey just like me and my brothers! They made sounds at one another, and I watched them do this thing called ‘playing a game’. Where they took this light round rock and kicked it around. I felt them climb up my sides like the squirrels do and sit on my mighty branches. Well… not so mighty. More than once one of the brothers would fall.

           They came to play almost every day. Until they stopped and I never knew why. At least, until I saw one of them again. It was the older one, dressed in grey and having a female in tow. They made human sounds at one another, was this what human males did to mate? Squawk certain sounds at the female? Humans were strange indeed.

           But that was the last I saw of the older brother until many human years later. When I saw the younger brother dressed in blue drag the corpse of his brother up to my mighty trunk. I saw the younger brother dig a hole in the ground and bury his brother. I was no stranger to life and death, and I welcomed the brother into the sod we now shared.

           When I became bigger and, well, mightier, humans started getting a little too personal with my home. Cutting down my brethren for what I hope was more shelters, like beavers do. But I once used to be a part of a vast forest was reduced to half its size in a human decade. It was odd, but not an unwelcomed change. If those red dressed humans taught me anything is that humans are adaptable creatures!

           I saw more humans than I ever have before during that time. And I- ow… ow! Ow wait! Oh God! Oh God make it stop! What are you doing? Stupid humans! The agony!

           Two stupid humans were carving something into my side! If only I could fight back! Ow! This isn’t funny you dumb humans! If I wasn’t so nice, I would have sent bees to attack you! Yowch!

           Thank nature that the craving was only a one-time experience. Though that wasn’t the last time I saw humans, it never was. Two little humans came around me by accident one day. A little male human and a little female human. They were so cute!

           They loved to play and climb onto me and we just had the best time! Why couldn’t more humans be like these two? For years we laughed and played… or they did, but I was enjoying myself! Even when the little humans weren’t so little anymore, they sat in my branches and talked. It was a constant that I welcomed. Where nature is always inconsistent, I cherished the short years these two would bring me. Sometimes I felt as though they knew I was sentient and alive.

           Most humans ignore the fact that I can breathe, that I’m alive. Not these two though, they know better. They respect my might branches and my mighty roots. And I respect them, as nature intended.

           And now, being over two hundred years old, I can say I love humans. Despite of everything I have seen, most of which I never mentioned in this monologue. Humans are fascinating, beautiful, and so stupid. But I welcome them, for I am a great protector of all creatures. And those two tiny humans? Well, recently they brought a smaller baby human to me! They showed her to me, and she was so cute! Like a pup or a cub but less furry!

           Okay, that settles it. Little humans are superior to older humans!