Imprint of friendship

What imagery does the word “friend” bring forth? A person whom you can trust, who supports you during good and bad times, someone you can smile and cry with and be yourself with. But can we find all these myriad forms in one individual? Sounds like a tough call, saddling one person with so much responsibility.

As children, we are told not to talk to strangers, when in fact all humans are strangers to us. Except perhaps for our family. We gradually refer to some individuals as friends. What brings us closer to some in exclusion of others is not even tangible at certain times. Suddenly one fine day, we see ourselves sharing a part of our lives with some people. But how do we know whether the person feels the same way about us?

We meet so many people during our lifetime and have experiences that teach us a lot. Some make us lose faith and regret ever having net them. In a fraction of a second, that friend becomes a stranger again and we forget all the wonderful memories and all we remember is the hurt. Was it really worth it?

Many of my friends have turned into strangers now. At first, it disappointed me and I agonized over what went wrong, why it ended in such a bad way, without closure or explanation. But now I have grown up. I have also grown to accept that the only constant thing in my life is change.

I won’t say that friendship is bad based on my bitter experiences. There are very few people, like your family, who will love and support you no matter what.

I have always wondered whether there is any living being who can love you unconditionally, expecting nothing in return, and who will listen to you quietly without judging and will love you, without caring whether you are a good person or bad. These were the thoughts running through my head when I watched a beautiful documentary titled “My Octopus Teacher”.

This movie changed the way I look at life in a lot of ways. It made me realize friendships do not just exist among human beings who are strangers. Animals qualify as better friends perhaps, but we never think of addressing them as such. The documentary was unbelievable in the sense that a person is going underwater daily just to observe how an octopus survives and protects itself. Gradually the octopus also starts trusting this person and believes that he will not cause harm. But did that octopus expect anything in return? The octopus influenced the person’s life so much that he eagerly waited to see it, and for almost a year he used to go daily to meet the octopus. With no words being said to each other, with no expectations and complaints, the blossoming of this beautiful friendship blew my mind.

This documentary made me remember a real-life experience that, for me, was akin to friendship

I was posted as a bank manager in Jodhpur (a bustling city in Rajasthan, India). I must have been there for only around 4 months. One of my most wonderful memories was not with a human being, but with a dog. Yes, a dog. And no, he was not my pet.

That dog was a stranger to me; a fairly big, black mongrel, quite old and low on energy levels. He never barked unnecessarily like the other strays populating the place. I saw him every day, lying at the entrance of my office. Even when leaving the office in the evening, I would see him lying there quietly. So, one day, I gave him some biscuits, and he gulped them down. So some days I would bring him biscuits. Whenever he saw me entering and leaving office, he would stand up and wag his tail in anticipation, not of the food, but of companionship too. There was a strange joy I felt, and it made me forget my stressful day. In my mind, I thought of giving him a name, Jacky.

A few days later, I started bringing him a share of food, and he would happily enjoy it. I developed a tremendous affection for him. One day, I didn’t see him outside, as I was leaving the office, so I thought of giving the food to another dog that was standing outside. Just as I was about to extend my hand towards the other dog, Jacky came bounding, grabbed the food packet, and ran away.

This ritual of feeding him went on for 4 months.

The day finally came when I received orders that I had been transferred elsewhere.

I was caught up in the rigmarole of winding up my affairs and figuring out new arrangements. My colleagues organized a farewell party on my last evening. I bid goodbye to the last of them and was my way out with a heavy heart. That was when I saw Jacky running towards me. I felt guilty. How could I forget him? I stood there for some time, wistfully watching him wag his tail. Something passed between us as I looked into his eyes. It was as if I understood he knew I was leaving him for good. Without saying a word, this silent friend of mine expressed so many emotions. I couldn’t control my tears. As usual, I gave him his food packet and got into my car. Jacky was not interested in the food at that time. He ran after my vehicle for some distance and then gave up. He stood watching the dust thrown up by my car as I drove away.

I cried myself to sleep that night. Still, when I think of him, it gives me goosebumps and I hope wherever he is; I pray to God to give him a friend who never leaves him as he deserves a lot of love. I really hope human beings can also bring same kind of affection towards each other without any terms and conditions.

This peculiar silent friendship of ours is what depicts “strangers becoming friends”.