Sink

The seas were taking a heavy toll on The Captains vessel tonight. Though the seas were typically rather volatile even on a good day, he couldn’t help but think of just how vicious and unforgiving they were in the days before. Heavy swells lapped up against the side of the hull heaving him around his ship unforgivingly. The Captain had found himself in a storm that he had foreseen. He had observed all the warning signs and alerts that a storm was to be expected but headed no mind as to what was to come, reasoning that it was unlikely that he, a cautious and considerate man, could be affected by the inevitable.

The Captain bashed from side to side on the forecastle of his vessel, scrambling madly to secure his cargo and precious possessions. All the fish he had caught from the sea would surely have fetched a pretty penny at home. His wife and child needed the money that he had procured from his expeditions to keep his family fed and the bill collectors paid. He was currently on his way back from his excursions.

He had been away from the tender embrace of his child and loving stares of his wife for two months, 26 days, 14 hours and some change when the waves began to crash. As a seasoned sea captain, he paid attention to the mornings weather reports routinely. The weather seemed to become slightly worse by the day since he had begun his voyage. Little by little, the swells became larger and the wind more ferocious as the days went on. Though he had become accustomed to the rocking of the seas, he spent most days wishing for a break in the cycle of the unnerving seas. His only recess from the vexatious disturbances of the choppy waters was to work. He seemingly worked around the clock, frequently missing meals and sleep in favor of the work that he had convinced himself needed doing. He could count on both hands the number of hours he had slept in the last four days.

The Captain scrambled from the weather decks to the engineering spaces below deck to continue his mad scramble of securement and preservation of his belongings. The ship was listing heavily to the port side and he found himself standing at a near fourty-five degree. As he stood waist deep in the fridged waters of the Pacific, the reality of the situation began to sink in: the ship was beyond saving. The wind howled against the skin of the ship and the water submerged the decks as The Captain stood and stared at the wreckage that surrounded him. His livelihood was floating around the ship like driftwood and the vessel he had called home for so long was held captive by the seas. For reasons unknown to himself, he couldn’t move. He just stood and stared at the wreckage surrounding him thinking about all that he had lost. His ship was sinking and his possessions were beyond saving, meaning he would be going home empty handed and unable to support his family. Only as an afterthought did he even think that he would not be able to see his family again. His wife would receive a phone call from God knows who that her husband had driven himself into a storm and that a search and rescue mission had begun. His wife and his daughter would wait with bated breath by the phone day after day until hope would eventually fade that he would be found alive and would give way to overwhelming grief. A memorial service would be held, and kind words would be said like “he was a great captain” and “he died doing what he loved”.

Feelings of guilt and fear ensnared his thoughts so much so that he didn’t even register the light shining down from the open ladder well to the decks behind him. He couldn’t even hear the speaker from the Coast Guard chopper that had arrived on scene that help had arrived. The captain just stood and stared. He had been so careful and thought that he was so smart only to see the beautiful mess that he had made staring back at him like a bruise. Like a monster that was waiting in the shadow for the opportunity to strike, he had let himself come to this moment in time when everything that he had was lost.

Though not all was lost. Visions flashed though his mind of his wife and daughter standing on the docks with tears in their eyes waiving him off for the umpteenth time. The feeling of leaving them always filled him with anguish but still he went, telling himself that he would be back after a short time and everything was fine. He always made the same promise that everything would be alright and all would be the same when he got back and now the day of reckoning had arrived. Nothing was alright and everything wouldn’t be fine. He was sinking in his own hubris and selfishness. The waves continued to crash around him and help had arrived but all he could think of what was lost and how badly he had failed.

Suddenly, he felt his head clear. With images of his family passing though his mind and remembrances of the promises he had made, he felt himself moving toward the light at the top of the ladder well. The Captain stood and stared at the spotlight from the chopper from the flooded decks of his ship and watched as the rescue diver repelled down to him. The rescue swimmer loaded him into a basket and the operator winched him skyward and into the side door of the rescue helicopter. After the rescue swimmer had hoisted himself into the chopper, the pilot began to maneuver in the direction of what The Captain knew was shore. As they fled the scene, The Captain had time to take one last look at his vessel. The aft end of the ship was completely submerged and the forward end was soon to follow. The ship and the job that had defined him since the day he first cast off the docks had been lost forever. The Captain couldn’t help but smile.