God in the park

This evening just does not work for me, there is such an incongruity between my feelings and, well everything.  Gotta love calm wind playing gently on the harp made of leaves and smiling people with a spring in their steps, and nature so full of promise, not at all like me. How lovely. I wish I did not forget headphones. 

Stormy wind, branches breaking, the sky has gone dark illuminated only by rapid lightning; a shine of knife franticly stabbing shroud of night.

Do other people do that?  There is something powerful in imagining the world bending to your feelings. 

I get a few bumps. Damn it. Can’t even walk on a park path without stumbling on something. Ha, got congruity I asked for. My magnetism for weird situations and talent for forgetfulness and lack of orientation simply makes them unavoidable. Fair. But from August everything that could go wrong, went wrong, even things that I could have never imagined happening were happening. This year had it all from basic failures to the kafkaesque. At some point it becomes comical. Just like burglars in Home Alone being hit over and over again. I know, worse misfortunes happen to people,  and when it rains it pours, but there is just something odd when the rains so constantly that rain feels like a river with a current.

But I still, when I was not too sad, believed Shelly's words -  If winter comes can spring be far behind? Fuck Percy. Fuck, it is just as if some algorithm is broken. It's like in this Belgium comedy where God is a vicious programmer typing in new mean laws. What were they? Something about if you stand in a queue the other queue always moves faster. Yes, it's like If God changed algorithm from 'after bad times always come good times' to ‘after bad times come worst times’. After winter comes coronavirus and unemployment.

I did not pay attention, must have taken a longer path. How late I will be? No, no, don’t die, you still have some battery. Don’t you dare freeze like that? I see. You’re keeping up with trends, dying often and around the world. I need to know where Alice is. Is that cafe open? Is that even legal? Yes, it is open. Always a lifesaver, with its toilet during long summer days in the Noorderplantsoen and with its electric sockets in times of crisis. O, coffee is only available to go. To be fair, that’s reasonable. If I say that I need to charge my phone and that I will drink my coffee outside in the meantime, it should work. I need to learn how to stop my voice from becoming so high when I want something from people. 

They may have wifi. I can be able to connect with my laptop. Messages. Who’s Christine? The message says she is not ‘mean’, that I should try ‘it’ myself and click on the link. Those viruses send in messages just get worse and worse this looks like generated by the bot.  Whatever. Have to message Alice. Surprise, surprise I am running late. I am next to the cafe. If you did not find a spot yet, come here otherwise let me know where you’re at…. Now some Chris is messaging me? It’s probably some sort of joke. What are you saying, Chris? What freedom of choice is an illusion! Wow. That’s deep. So hard not to roll my eyes. What’s happening? I did not click on the link why it’s all going black. I need to turn off wifi. Why the hell is it not working. Something appears on the screen. 

The Game: you can design your world. No rule can conflict with any other rule. You can delete previous rule but then you need to consider implications for all other rules. If you play I let you go. Promise.

Law number….

This is so weird. Nothing else is working anyway. Well, If they steal my passwords I don’t have money worth stealing, so jokes on them. No, so much effort with changing passwords everywhere, fuck. The law number... could be that assholes don’t hack other people’s laptops

Error your law violates law 5 (there are mechanisms for the functioning of everything), law 6 (all mechanism can be understood through proper apparatus)...

There so many lines of this. Does it ever end? This is so much work just for some scam/ prank whatever it is. 

Okay again: First law: there should be no climate change

#error violates a number of natural law……..

This is so accurate how could they know the questions I will ask?  To be fair, there are pretty predictable. I will ask about something more random. You have  60 seconds to write what you think before you forget everything. Where is this pen? Why I am panicking? I don’t really believe in this. I got it. What do I think? Think. What does she trying to say? Are Gods us in future? The laws of Gods fall within the whole web of laws. Like human’s action fall within the web of human connections. The full outcome is only visible in future. The meaning of what’s happening arises from stories. Why am I waiting for oblivion? Shake out of this. Seems like I agree with Arendt in the end, and Gods maybe are not so totally mean, just limited. Anyway, what was that all?

Alice is here. I need to stop looking so scared, and tell her about it as If I never, for a moment,  believed it. Walking should make hiding it easier. Wait. Almost forgot about my phone. She tries to look intrigued by my story but I can see in her tense face that she really tries not to smile. Common Alice, tell me. Of course, how could I not connect the dots? Today is April 1st and I allowed ages ago Sara to install something on my laptop for her  AI/philosophy secret thesis experiment. So naive! but also there was just something nice about being fooled and forced into snap judgement.

I love sitting next to the lake on a denim jacket, it has such a careless feeling, although the distance between me and Alice quite quickly reminds me that those are disciplined times. With hours not seconds in my hand, what do I think?