Too Much

“I’m into it!” These words practically blasted through Chase’s earbuds at 12:03. Was he famous now? It feels like it. But not in a good way. All he did was sing in front of his crush at a party. It was a dare, a stupid one that made him look crazy and unfiltered. But, what could he do now? All he can do is re watch the video over and over and over again like he has been since this morning. “Thirteen thousand views…” Chase scoffs as he gets up out of his bed to grab anything he can eat and drink out of the kitchen.

His friend Emmanuel posted it on this vine like app. It was called Tippy Top or something…

Reluctantly, he exited out of the app and just turned on some music. 

Now laying in his bed with the lights off and a handful of chips and goldfish, he just stares at the wall. He can’t help but think of how embarrassing that was. He convinced himself that for now on he’s just going to keep his earbuds in and keep to himself. “Am I always loud and obnoxious? Does SHE think I'm loud and obnoxious?”

His brain just filled with thoughts that he couldn’t push away. It felt like the more he laid there in the dark, the more thoughts rushed into his mind. Like the one time he fell off the stage in middle school while helping the special guest with a magic trick.

“I suck.” He said out loud with a mouth full of Doritos. “I’m so fucking stupid.” Now that...felt better. Expressing how dumb and stupid he seemed gave him a little closure. He tried not to think of anything else by singing the songs he was listening to and turning the music up to max. Morning seemed to come quicker than falling asleep did. He was surprised he was able to sleep so well with crumbs around him. 

He got up taking his phone and earbuds with him. He turned it up and started singing to the top of his lungs. He would only do this in the morning because his mom has to work early shifts, so he is left in the house alone to get ready for school. 

After getting in the shower he gets dressed, feeds his dog, combs his hair then heads for the door. Going to school takes Chase 2 buses and a train to get there. The whole time he likes to listen to music, look out the window, and pretend like he’s in the music video. By the time he gets off the train and gets into the last bus that will drop him off in front of the school, he starts to see people from school. He has classes with a few of them, but he really doesn’t acknowledge them. But, most of them were at the party a couple of days ago. All he can think about is them calling him a “Simp” in their mind. And every time he sees them get a text message, he wonders if they are talking about how pale he looks right now. 

“Yeah, you should see the dumb look on his face right now. He’s such a ‘Simp’!” “Lol. He’s just sitting there doing nothing?” “Yeah looking out of a window. Looking like he’s in a movie or sumn.” “This guy…”

“Is that how they are talking about me? Will they always talk about me like that?” These questions would not go away. And the closer he got to the school, the more he imagined how everyone would be when he walks in. “Will they whisper in each other’s ears? Will they laugh and point? Or will they wait until they aren’t in my eye sight and talk about me behind my back? Will they even care? “Of course they will care. They can’t help but talk about dumb people like me.” What else could he think? Before he knew it he arrived at the bus stop. It was time for him to get off. He thought about staying behind on the bus, but he didn’t want to look like he didn’t know where he was going so he just got off. He was the second to last person to get off the bus, but being a 6’1” student-athlete, he walks rather fast and ends up in front of everybody by the time he reaches the gate of the school. Then, his heart was pounding. “Is everyone looking at me?” “Staring at the back of my head?” “Is my shirt tucked into my underwear?” He pulled his shirt out wards and down. Then his attention turned to the school. “Why am I walking so fast?” “Slow down…” “The faster your useless legs walk the faster everyone will see you and start talking shit.” “Honestly you deserve the shit. You did something without thinking and now you're gonna pay for it…” Now his attention turned towards the ground. His school has a pond in front and houses a bunch of geese, so there is goose poop on the concrete. Everywhere. That is the last thing he needs, to step in goose poop and have someone see it, or worse have it at the bottom of his shoe all day and for everyone to smell it. 

Stepping over and around poop distracted Chase from realizing he was now at the door. Without skipping a beat he opens the door and steps in. He cannot have anyone knowing he is bothered right now. That would only make matters more embarrassing. With his music on max and his head down, he focuses on navigating his way to his locker. But his wandering eyes and wondering mind causes him to take a peek at the upperclassmen. “Do they know?” “Are they gonna nickname me ‘Simp’?” “Is my nickname gonna be ‘Simp’ for the rest of high school?” He looks at them...minding their business. They don’t even pay him any mind. They finish their conversations about graduation and hanging out after school. That’s a good sign. Right? He sure hopes so. Up the stairs and down the hall is his friend Emmanuel there to greet him. “Chase. You are welcome.” “For?” “For making you famous. What are you gonna do with it is important…” “The hell are you talking about Manny? People laughing at me is not fame.” Chase couldn’t stand his friend’s nieveness. Emmanuel started, “Look, let me show you.” He then takes out his phone, plays the video and points at the likes. “Three hundred and frickin four likes! Thanks for the clout my guy.” Chase was astounded. The fact that so many people liked it tells him that...what exactly was it telling him? Did they really like it? Or were they only liking it because it was him humiliating himself?

 “Can I see the comments?” Chase said shakily. “Yeah. Dude, you okay? You look a little pale…” Chase scrolls through the comments, “That note though…” “Does he have a YouTube cause like...oop.” “Is his voice on Spotify cause I will most def pay premium for that.” He couldn’t believe his eyes. He was thinking about how people at school were going to react to it, he wasn’t really paying attention to the video. He knew he could hit certain notes, but he didn’t think it was anything serious. He started to smile. Was he worried for nothing? “Of course I wasn’t. You seem to have forgotten that your crush now knows that you love her. And now, she knows you're a freak!” Chase palmed his face. “Well, there goes my love life.” Emmanuel starts walking with Chase to his locker when Angel walks up to him. “Now play it cool.” “Hey, Chase.” “Hey…”