When Did I Know You?

“WHERE is Ellis and WHY isn’t he here RIGHT NOW?” Amanda demanded as she held on to the banister so she could some-what stomp down the stairs in seven inch gold heels and a tight (not to mention tiny) midnight purple dress without breaking her face. Her sister, Jane, was sitting on the couch eating chips while watching the reruns of some movie their mother had introduced them to when they were younger. Jane shrugged and she stuffed a rather large handful of chips in her mouth. Amanda recoiled, somewhat disgusted, as she reached for the bowl and dumped it in the open garbage can, saying, “Do you know how much processed junk goes into those things? A LOT.” Frowning, she left her sister to her own devices and headed for the kitchen where her brother, Oliver, was sitting, playing a video game on his laptop. He grunted in response to his younger sister entering the room. Amanda harumphed and opened the door to the fridge before pulling out a glass pitcher of iced tea and setting it down on the counter. She poured herself a glass and pulled out the barstool beside her brother’s chair and tucked a brown and blond curl behind her ear. “Do YOU know where Ellis is?” He shook his head.

“Naw, but he did say he would play Minecraft with me later. I don’t see why you need him so much. Honestly, it was cringy enough when you two started dating, but you could at least cut me some slack and knock of the I-would-be-dead-if-you-weren’t-there act.” Amanda huffed and pulled out her phone to check and see if he had replied. Nothing. She grabbed her iced tea and made way for the living room, where Jane was still watching reruns. Plopping herself down on the couch, Amanda wrinkled her nose at the new bag of chips that her sister had opened. She offered to go get the guacamole and some mango crackers, but Jane shook her head aggressively and said she didn’t want anything to do with that health nut stuff. Suddenly, the doorbell rang, and Amanda jumped up, not even bothering to say goodbye to her sister, went to the door and opened it to Ellis’ smiling face. 

“Hey.” He said, reaching forward and hugging her. She stepped on to the wide porch by the window and shut the door behind herself before the walked down the driveway towards Ellis’s car. He opened the passenger door for her, and she smiled warmly to thank him. “So.” Ellis started once he was backing out of the driveway and on to the street, where her angled himself west so hey could make it out of town and to the country. “You said there was something you wanted to talk to me about?” Amanda broke down and lost her composure. 

“Yeah. I…” She paused and checked her purse for water proof mascara, which she swiped on quickly. “I loosing myself, El. I can’t be me without hurting other people because I have self esteem issues. Cara can’t even walk in heels this tall, and I’m going to a drive by movie with them on because I worry the college boy who needs money for a car thinks of my shoes. So I automatically jump to self defence and seeming like the kid who is so much tougher than she actually is because if I don’t, then I don’t think I’m good enough.” Amanda felt her defences crash as she poured her heart out to Ellis, and she opened up about the self esteem issues she had been having for weeks on end. In turn, he offered the best advice he could give:

“Well, I love you, and anyone else who doesn’t is seriously missing out and will also seriously regret it when they are working for you. Also, no one is perfect. Everyone has flaws, but the real flaw is picking apart the things you don’t love the best about yourself, because there is someone out there who will love that part of you.” His golden and brown eyes looked up from the road for a second to smile and and meet hers. “Look, Amanda, I really don’t care if you don’t want to eat chips or chocolate because you’re worried about your weight. But the truth is, I don’t mind if you’re three pounds over how much Ariana Grade or whoever weighs. Honestly, I would like it better if you had a bowl of popcorn every now and again so that I worry less that you’ll die in June from hyperthermia bacause of lack of fat storages. If you won’t go out in public because you’re having a bad hair day, fine, but I like it better when you don’t put so much asthetics on how you look, because you’re gorgeous. And, if the popcorn boy cares about bare feet, he can kiss his sweet job goodbye for two reasons: one, I will pound him so bad he won’t be able to work again, and two, I’ll tell his manager that he has a problem with my girlfriend’s footwear.” Amanda laughed once, then looked down at her hands and laughed again.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you, Ellis. While we’re here, is there anything you want to talk to me about?” His smile faltered as he stopped abruptly as the light turned red, and for a second, Amanda worried something was wrong with his mother, who had been fighting mercilessly with his father about his drinking habit just days before his fatal drinking overdose. So not only had Ellis lost a father, but he had also lost a brother (who had died the next week because of malnourishment) and a funtioning mother, who blamed the whole thing on herself. Ellis couldn’t deal with the death of his mom, who he still loved to, well, death. However, his smile returned to his face just seconds after it had vanished, and Amanda was forced to believe that nothing was wrong. They pulled of they highway and on to an old gravel road, where Ellis rolled the windows down and pumped the music through the old speaker he had set up on the dashboard. Amanda smiled and they sang along until they reached the sign indicating the movie theater was coming up. Ellis pulled over and reached in the backseat for a hoodie, which he handed to Amanda. 

“What’s going on?” She asked, confused. Ellis just smiled and handed her a pair of her jeans that she had left at his place the week before. She sat slackjawed with the clothes on her lap while Ellis rummaged around in his hockey bag for a hair elastic. He motioned for her to turn around, and he pulled her hair up in a tight high ponytail, the motioned for her to put the clothes on before handing her slip on vans. “Ellis, what are you doing?”

“You said you have self esteem issues, so I want you to start getting over them yourself. This should help.” Now it was Amanda’s turn to let her smile falter. Start getting over them herself? She intended for Ellis to always be there to help her get through them, not to be suddenly left to her own devices. What was he hinting at? She obeyed anyway and pulled the jeans on and the hoodie over her head after taking off the dress. Then, she pulled on the shoes, and Ellis opened the door for her to be let out. They talked as they walked down the road several kilometers before they found the theater. Ellis spread out a blanket and dropped his phone on it before leaving Amanda to go get the popcorn. She sat admiring the functionality of the big screen tv and the sunset before the ringing of a phone pulled her from her thoughts. It was Ellis’. And written big on the screen was the caller ID was ‘♡ Bae ♡’. Checking her phone, Amanda assured herself that she hadn’t actually called him, and when she was done, she laughed and answered. 

“Um, hi, ‘Bae’.” She said. The girl was skinny and curvy, and she was wearing a shocked expression at being found out. At least, that’s what Amanda thought.

“OMG, Ellie, you sound horrible! That must be some cold! Are you out with you-know-who?” Deciding and understanding that she was doing something horrible, Amanda decided to play along. 

“Yeah. Finally got rid of her. So, why are you calling?” 

“To tell you that you need to tell her.” Suddenly, Ellis showed up behind her with two large popcorns. He noticed the FaceTime and said,

“Tell who what? Oh. Wait. This is gonna get bad.” Now, it was ‘Bae’s’ turn to be surprised. 

“Ellis? Wait, then who was I talking to?”

“You-know-who.” Ellis and Amanda said at the same time. Then, he took the phone from her, and said, “Look, babe, I’ll call you back later, okay? Alright, mwah, bye.” He hung up and put the phone in his pocket. “Look, Amanda, I can explain.” Amanda laughed.

“Do you think I want to hear it? Cause I don’t. Ellis, I thought you loved me!” 

“I DO. It’s just… you’re kinda… needy.”

“Needy?!” Amanda laughed. “OH, I’ll show you needy. When it’s you crying for me when your stupid ‘Bae’ leaves. And you know what? I won’t pick up. I won’t call back, and I won’t feel bad. So suck it and goodbye.” Amanda stood up and marched back down to the road where she took out her phone and called Jane, who picked up the phone right away. Still walking toward the highway, Amanda sobbed to her sister, 

“You were right. I’m sorry. I was a crappy sister. And I should have listened to you when you said that Ellis was bad news, because now he’s broke my heart because he was a jerk. Actually, no, that’s wrong: he was always a jerk, and I’m just finding out now, so I feel like a dummy. And now, I’m staying single until I’m thirty, and I owe it to him. But our biggest problem is that I am now-”

“In the middle of the road trying to walk back home?” Jane guessed. “Don’t worry. Oliver and I are on our way. We’ll be there soon. With extra chips.” Amanda smiled in the darkness. 

“Thank you, Jane.” She paused the added, “And, I love you.” And for the first time since she had met Ellis, Amanda was free. She loved someone and didn’t have to worry about them loving her back. She was herself. And she was loving it. 

The next day, Amanda woud be at a coffee shop with her siblings and Cara, partying and enjoying herself, not caring what anyone else thought. She would be on he third extra-fat chai latte when Ellis walked in with ‘Bae’ who would later be known as Jennifer. They would order coffees as well, and Ellis would be really weirded out. But Amanda? She wouldn’t even notice when they show up. Because Ellis is now no one she ever knew. And now that she thinks about it, when did she ever know him?