Her

New Year’s Day, 2017

I stood in the kitchen, clad in a maroon colored dress and sipping my fourth glass of Sauvignon Blanc. There was glitter all over the floor and empty bottles littered the coffee table. Who knew that a New Year’s Eve party could cause so much upheaval? Not me. Definitely not me. Glancing at the clock, I let out a sigh of defeat. 2:00 am. Seth still wasn’t here. He’d been gone since last night. Where the hell was he? I was about to call him for the third time that night when I heard the sound of a key turning the lock and the door opening. 

“There you are,” I said, the bite evident in my voice. “Where were you? You missed the entire party.”

“Oh, for Christ’s sake, Ava, I was only gone for an hour.” He tossed his keys on the coffee table and draped his jacket on the arm of the sofa. He reeked of age-old beer and his dress shirt was crumpled. 

“So, who is she?” I asked with feigned interest. 

“Excuse me? Who’s who?”

“The other woman you’re cheating on me with.” 

“For fuck’s sake, Ava, she’s just my assistant. We’ve discussed this already.” He sighed and went upstairs. “I’m taking a shower,” he said, before leaving. I stood in the empty living room all alone. Seth wasn’t always like this. At least, not when we first met. But marriage has a bad habit of morphing people into someone completely unrecognizable. He was happier, back when we met. More laidback. Less stressed. But I guess five years changes you. 

Seth and I first met at an engagement party for our co-worker and mutual friend, Kimmy. I remember seeing him there, leaning against the bar table stoically, distant yet magnetic. His deep cobalt blue eyes and ebony black hair was enough to captivate me. He was in the very back of the bar with his friends, laughing and drinking, and all I could think about for the rest of the night was him and the way his smile lit up his face like a fuse. Looking at it now, I can’t ever pinpoint where it all went wrong. Did we veer off the path somewhere along the way? Were we doomed from the start? Or were we just simply doomed from the start? All questions, yet no answers. 

I proceeded to clean up the mess that Seth had left, as well as the remnants from the New Year’s Eve party, when Seth’s phone buzzed. I knew I shouldn’t. I told myself right then and there that I should just walk away and pretend like I never saw it. But a small part of me wanted to know. A small part of me needed to know. Without thinking, I picked up his phone and tapped on the most recent notification. I froze when I saw the name on his screen. Rachel Conway. My best friend. 

My breathing was heavy and my heart hammered in my chest as I sat on the couch and read through the text she’d sent him. 

Rachel: “Hey, babe. I had fun tonight. Can’t wait for tomorrow.”  I felt tears stinging my eyes as I scrolled through their previous conversations. 

Rachel: “Where are you? You didn’t forget about tonight, did you?”

Seth: “Of course not, babe.I just needed to take care of something first. I have a surprise for you.”

Rachel: “Really?”

Seth: “Yep. You’re going to love it.” 

I threw the phone down, paralyzed with shock. I felt an uncontrollable surge of anger bubbling within me. I kept scrolling, ignoring the voice in my head screaming at me to stop. I couldn’t.Not anymore. I was in too deep. 

“Ava, what the hell are you doing?” I looked up and Seth was standing at the top of the stairs. 

“I could ask you the same thing.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Don’t be stupid, Seth, I know. I know you’ve been cheating on me. And with my best friend, no less!” His silence at that was deafening. I wanted him to say something, anything, but he didn’t. 

“How long?” He didn’t reply, and at that moment, I finally realized what people meant when they said that silence speaks volumes. 

“How. Long?” I bit out, more forcefully.

“Three months,” he replied in a faint whisper so low that I almost missed it. The more I looked at him, the more I loathed him. I didn’t know what to do at that moment. But what I did know was that if I couldn’t have Seth Driscoll, then no one else could. 

January 2, 2017

I finished setting the table by putting the two glasses of wine on either side. Everything was ready. To most people, it seemed like a romantic dinner or something from a novel, or even those cheesy Hallmark Christmas movies. But the truth was that tonight would be a night that neither Rachel or I would ever forget. I had always suspected Seth was having an affair. All those nights he came home from work with lipstick on his shirt or when he’d sneak out of bed in the middle of the night. I didn’t know, but I suspected. And today, my suspicions were proven correct. 

She arrived at 5:30 on the dot in a royal blue dress, paired with black stilettos. Rachel was definitely prettier than me, I’ll give her that much. 

“Ava,” she said, sliding into one of the wingback chairs. “It’s so good to see you again,” she said, her voice laced with saccharine sweetness. 

“It’s been quite a while since we’ve gotten together like this,” I replied, agreeing with her. 

“This is lovely. Did you put it together all by yourself?” I nodded as I served her a plate of steak. It had always been her favorite food since we were kids.

“So, Ava, how’s Seth?” she inquired, taking a bite of steak. “I heard he’s been—”

She stopped mid-sentence. Her eyes widened and I watched as she doubled over in pain. She clutched her stomach and let out a scream in agony. She fell to the floor and her body began twitching violently. 

“Oh, sweet, sweet Rachel. Maybe this will teach you to not have an affair with your best friend’s husband.” 

As soon as the words were out, she began foaming at the mouth. I loomed over her and watched as her face twisted with horror at the sudden revelation of what I’d done. I never knew I was capable of poisoning my best friend, but everyone says that love makes you do crazy things. 

I glanced at the clock on the far wall—an hour and a half left before Seth got home. Plenty of time to clean up the mess. With deliberate focus, I dragged Rachel’s body to my car and forced it into the trunk. The darkness outside was already settling in, even though the evening had just begun. Taking the backroads, I drove in silence all the way to Seaglass Lake. The plan was simple, meticulous. Before discarding her body, I stabbed it twenty times, and secured it with dumbbells I’d swiped from the gym. I knew enough to understand that human bodies float in water. If I’d simply tossed her in, she would eventually resurface. But now, her body would sink to the bottom of the lake and no one would ever find it. Unless they reported her missing, of course. But they wouldn’t. Everyone would just surmise that famous accountant Rachel Conway left the small town of Willowdale behind and never looked back.

I got home an hour later, with thirty minutes to spare before Seth arrived back home. I washed the dishes and switched out the red candelabras for the beige ones. We all need a little change of scenery once in a while. As I was setting the table again for Seth, I noticed something that wasn’t there before. A piece of paper tucked into the flower vase. I pulled it out and saw that it was a letter from Rachel. I sat in one of the chairs and began to read.

Dear Ava,

By the time you read this, I will already have left Willowdale. I’ll be on a plane to Covington, and you’ll neither see nor hear from me again. Believe me when I say I never meant for things to end this way. But the time has come for you to learn the truth about the man you married.

It all began when I first met him at the law firm. I had heard bits and pieces about him from colleagues who’d known him long before I did. He approached me one day and I was instantly mesmerized. He was tall, charismatic, and shrouded in an aura of mystery. Against my better judgment, I became addicted to him. Almost like you were when I first introduced you to him. He offered to take me home that night, since my car was being repaired and I agreed. We slipped into easy conversation and that was the moment I knew that I was falling in love with him. 

The next day, he took me out to dinner. I noticed the absence of a wedding ring, so I assumed he wasn’t married. Divorced, maybe, or possibly widowed. Ever since then, we’ve been together. All those late nights where he would come home late from work, he’d been with me. All those times where he came home with a lipstick-stained shirt and reeked of women’s perfume, he’d been with me. 

You have to believe me when I say that I was going to tell you.

Every time I tried to open my mouth, however, my words would fail me. 

On our third date, he invited me over to his place. You were out with your mother that day, shopping, and wouldn’t be back until after midnight. You and Margot always loved staying out late. At first, everything was normal. The night was progressing the way it should be. It was perfect, even. But then Seth told me he had a surprise for me upstairs and instructed me to wait. I listened to him, but only briefly. I wished I’d waited longer. I wandered around the apartment, giving me something to do, when I stumbled across a hatch on the floor. It was half covered by the carpet, but still visible to the eye. I opened the metal handle and strided down the wooden staircase. 

I never should’ve gone in there. 

I should’ve left the second I found her body. 

But fear rooted me to the ground and immobilized me. 

The first thing that hit me was a wretched smell. I turned the lights on and jumped back in horror when I saw her. Kelsea Jones, who’d gone missing three weeks ago, dead on his basement floor. A pool of blood surrounded her head and she was covered in stab wounds. I gripped the table to steady myself and felt my legs trembling. I was about to leave and call the police when I heard the sound of heavy footsteps thundering down the stairs. 

The hatch door was thrown open and Seth stood at the base of the stairs, clutching a knife. I stepped back instinctively, but he advanced towards me. He looked over at Kelsea’s body and then back at me. He then pinned me to the wall and ever so slightly lifted my chin to look up at him with the blade of the knife. He ran the blade down my face and neck, and I could feel tears slipping from my eyes. 

His voice was low and menacing as he said:

“From now on, you know nothing. Kelsea Jones is missing. She was last seen getting into her boyfriend’s car and was never seen again after that. If you breathe a word of this to anyone, I’ll kill you, and then I’ll kill Ava too, and it’ll be all your fault. Do you understand?” 

Tears were streaming down my face as I nodded slowly. 

“Good girl,” he said, and led me back upstairs. 

Every time I saw you, I could never tell you. If he were to ever hurt you the way he promised he would, I would never forgive myself. I’m so, so sorry, Ava. I should’ve told you. I don’t blame you if you decide to shut me out or never speak to me again. But I’ll finally live in peace knowing he can’t hurt you if I keep my mouth shut. 

I’m not writing this as a confession, I’m writing this as a warning. Seth Driscoll is a very dangerous man. You need to stay away from him. I despise myself for not telling you sooner. If I could go back and change everything, I would do it in a heartbeat. All I can do is hope you see him for who he truly is and leave him on your own. 

I’m running out of time. Meet me at the airport in an hour and we’ll talk then. My final words to you before I disappear forever. We’ll talk soon. Stay safe. 

xx,

Rachel