Kay-Day

This Happened To Charlie Brown On Kay-Day

Once upon a time in a huge metropolis called Danville, Va. there lived a really nice guy named Chip. Actually, that was his nickname. People called him that because he was, "a chip off the old block" according to his parents, but unfortunately the, "block" was just what his head was shaped like. He resembled Charlie Brown so they called him, "Blockhead." He was always trying to do the right things, but somehow things always seamed to go wrong for him. When he wanted to be a place-kicker for The Danville Doe-Does the holder who was named Lou, would always pull it out at the last second and he would fall flat on his back and kill himself. Then everybody who saw it always went into hysterics since they though it was the funniest thing they'd ever seen. When he tried to pick the best Christmas tree, everybody laughed at him. When he tried to steal a base after being walked, he din't get half-way home, so that was where he kept going, "home." When he went to pick out a nice Christmas tree, beauty was in the eye of the beholder, but everybody beheld it was awful-looking. He seamed to be a magnet for pain.

Then one day he met a little red-hared girl who swept him off of his feet. That means she pulled the rug from under him since he wouldn't move for staring at her while she was sweeping and he ended up mopping the floor, only it was with his body. If he could have gotten an A for effort, he would have aced his report cards, but instead his grades were Dandy, at least it was the letter it stood for, D.

Then one year he went to a celebration of Kay Day, that's the day set aside to honer a really important lady whom everybody loved named Kay. He'd been training for several weeks to be the fastest, the strongest, the most cunning and the best atholeet at all the events. Yet on the discus throw, he ended up throwing it into the crowd, injuring 3 children. At the running backwards race he landed in the consesion stand, spilling all the food and drinks so nobody could have any. At The Running Of The Bull race he got chased by the bull, nearly goarding him but people said, "He should have won that. 'Bull' is what he's full of." At the discus throw he threw his 15 pound discus into the judge's head, knocking him out cold. At the shot put he actually put the whole shot into the back of the judge's head, knocking him out cold. At the pole-vault, he broke his pole and went under the bar making him feel like a, "Poll" named, "Charlie Brownski." That would have made even Murphy look like a champion in comparison to how his day went. On top of all that, he got in a fight with a brown-skinned kid who thought he was making fun of him by choosing that name. It seamed like he was a victim of Murphy's Law, although even Murphy couldn't have have his days go anywhere near that bad for him. Lucy said it right when she said, "Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you are the Charlie Browniest." For him. Kay Day was short for, "Kill Day," which is what he wished it would do to him just to put him out of his mizorey, but the day still had more activities to go, much to his shagrom.

When he sat down to get lunch, who should come sit down beside him but the little red-haired girl. The only reason was because all the other seats were taken and she had been participating in all of the events a female could do. She had a bag on her back frilled with blue ribbons she had won in all the events she had participated in. She sat down beside Charlie Brown and whispered in his ear, "Hay! You're the funniest act I've ever seen in my life! I can't remember a time I've laughed so much in one day! Thank you for cheering me u! my parents just split-up several weeks ago and I haven't laughed in over a month! I just want to thank you for making me feel so great! Now, you really did cheer me up big-time! So thank you very much!"

Then she hugged him. Charlie brown wasn't used to having anybody do that to him, much less the prettiest girl in the whole school. Since he still wasn't smiling, she stopped hugging him and began to tickle him. He laughed not just because of her magic fingers, but she had done something that nobody else had ever done for him, that's make him feel like like he was actually loved by somebody.

He went home walking on an invisible cloud, for not only had he actually been kissed, but it was by the prettiest girl in school. It brightened him up so much he changed his name to Charlie Green, since he had new life. Later that was the color of paper people were giving him to cheer them up when they needed a laugh. He even received some green pieces of paper with photos of Benjamin Franklin on them. He even received some with the photos of Woodrow Wilson on them, since he is on the $1,000.00 bill, which is no longer in print. At any rate, he was really bringing home the, "bucks," since in college he, "kneaded" some, "doe." He actually got paid for, "loafing," which was the perfect job for him since he didn't have much, "bread."

On his way to his front door, he saw Lucy trying to place the football on the ground and humming some made-up tune. As Charlie Brown saw it, he sneaked up behind her and actually kicked the football. It went 89 yards in the air before it even hit the ground. At that moment, a talent scout just happened to see him do that and offered him a full scholership to Harverd Univercity. Several weeks later he went to a meeting of students from all over the country so he asked a guy sitting beside him, "What collage are you from?" When he proudly said, "Yale," Charlie Brown said, "Well, alright. WHAT COLLEGE ARE YOU FROM!?!?"

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Needless to say, you can guess where that relationship went. As he was mentally kicking himself for saying such a stupid statement in front of everybody who was there, that made all the students who was around him think he had just as much sense as a poison ivy plant, he heard a familiar voice behind him say, "That was the funniest answer anybody has ever given to that question anybody has heard in history! May I use that line to makeffgfgvvf all my seroritty sisters laugh? I promise I'll give you the credit for that awesome punch-line! They'll get a kick out of that! Even more then the, 'kick' they get from Kerotty!"

Charlie Brown's mouth went from an n shape into a u shape when he heard her say that phrase to him so in other words, the corners of his mouth pointed north instead of south. That inspiration made him so proud he went the whole year with a 4.0 grade average, acing all of his classes. The main thing that had given him confidence was hearing those magic words from the little red-haired girl who he'd always thought was the prettiest creature this side of Heaven. They became really great friends, helping each other with classes they were the strongest in so they both graduated top-of-their-class. After they graduated he, "popped it" and she said, "Yeah!" They both used their degrees to be very successful people. Especially Charlie Brown sine he did the same thing in his classes that he did when he was playing baseball right after he changed his position to left field. Then he was literally, "out-standing in his field." So at any rate, like the best written stories of all-time will officially finish up with,

"THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER!!!!!"

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The end. By, Cuz Roye.