Biting my Tongue

Lizzy hung up the phone with a sigh. Her husband had been in Germany for his job since the day after they got home from our honeymoon ten months ago and he was finally coming home. Unfortunately, his mother and sisters would arrive tomorrow night, a full two days before Tommy’s arrival. Lizzy looked around her home, the one she furnished after five or six months of wishing her husband was there to have an opinion. Just then, Daisy came running up to her. She had adopted the beautiful yellow lab from a local rescue after four months. Her brother was concerned that she felt unsafe and that was her motivation, but that wasn’t it. Besides, Tommy had insisted on having a high tech security system installed. The house was nearly ready, she was planning to make the beds, touch up the floors, and wipe down the high traffic areas in the morning after she dropped Daisy at the groomers. Tommy’s mother and sisters said they were coming early to make sure everything was ready for his return. Insulting, but not surprising. Whatever, the important part was that Tommy was coming home. It was getting late, so she hopped in the shower quickly before letting Daisy out for a few minutes and going to bed.

The next day she dropped Daisy off at the groomer then got the house in perfect condition for the visit. By the time her ‘guests’ walked in without knocking, dinner was ready, the house was spotless, and Daisy was clean and fresh.  Pam, her mother in law, sniffed the air.  « Oh, are you…cooking? » she asked, as if she wasn’t sure she was smelling food.  Just then, Shelly walked up.  She was Tommy’s younger sister and Lizzy’s favorite new relative.  « That smells delicious!  We didn’t get a chance to eat at the airport, what can I do to help? » she asked, enthusiastically.  A réa smile broke through on Lizzy’s face as she got down the salad bowl that had been a wedding gift from Pam.  « If you want to put your things in one of the guest rooms then help with the salad that would be great! » she said.  « Let me show you all to your rooms. ». She put Pam in the room furthest from her own, then Tracy in the next.  Tracy was Tommy’s older sister and she was very protective.  She put Shelly in her favorite guest room, the one with the built in window seat.  She could see Pam running her hands on the wall trim looking for dust and finding none.  She led the three women downstairs and into the kitchen where she served drinks and showed Shelly the salad supplies.  Pam was inspecting the plates, satisfied that she had found something wrong.  « I see you’re not using the china that my husband and I gifted you, may I ask why not? » she asked sharply.  Lizzy smiled, which was obviously not the reaction Pam wanted.  « It’s such a beautiful set, but it seems to risky to use for everyday use, especially since it is generally just me here.  I do plan on using it for Tommy’s welcome home dinner! » she said, quieting Pam for the moment.  «the salad looks wonderful Shelly, thank you so much for putting that together! » she said, she got the impression that Shelly didn’t get a lot of praise.  They began t eat in relative silence, and Lizzy turned to Tracy who had not yet spoken a single word.  « How is Victor doing?  Still at the same firm? » she asked, remembering how much Tracy like to brag about her husband’s legal career. It worked like a charm, Tracy began to talk about her husband’s path to being a partner, lamenting the fact that he worked so much and she only got an hour with him at night and an hour in the morning most days.  Lizzy bit her tongue and said sympathetically, « that must be rough, do you think it will calm down at all as he moves up? »  « I hope so, it sucks that he’s never around » she replied.  « Lizzy knows all about that » said Shelly.  Honestly Lizzy wasn’t sure how Shelly got to be so sweet, but she was grateful for her young sister in law.  « That’s for sure » she said, shaking her head sadly, « All the delays have made me feel like I was in some kind of never ending nightmare. »  Sensing her distress, Daisy trotted into the kitchen and sat down by her, getting as close as she could.  « It shouldn’t be in the kitchen » snapped Pam.  Lizzy did her best not to snap back, but she knew her words sounded sharp when she reached down to pet Daisy and said « she’s allowed in here, Daisy is a very well behaved dog and this is her home. »  Daisy took that opportunity to snuggle under Lizzy’s arm.  Before Pam could react, Tracy spoke up, « she really is well behaved, and she is a beautiful dog » she said, smiling at Daisy.  « Is she a rescue? » asked Shelly.  « She is, » said Lizzy, finally   relaxing, « I adopted her from a local shelter.  She’s really done an incredible job of adjusting. »  The rest of the evening passed more pleasantly with more questions about Daisy and with talk of plans to welcome Tommy home.  The only dark cloud was Pam’s near silence.  The next day was spent shopping and decorating and that night Tommy’s father, also named Thomas, and Tracy’s husband, Victor arrived and they ordered pizza and played with Daisy as much as she would allow.  It felt strange to Lizzy, having a pleasant time with Tommy’s family.  The only holdout was Pam, still looking for something to criticize, but Lizzy didn’t mind so much now.  After the couples paired off, Lizzy and Shelly relaxed in the living room with a now exhausted Daisy and got to have a real conversation.  Lizzy was thrilled to be able to call Shelly her sister as Shelly was just as thrilled. Being the youngest in a fairly uptight family had clearly been isolating for her.  « I’m sorry about my mom ». She said, looking down and fidgeting with her hands.  Lizzy gave her an understanding smile and reassured her « It’s really ok, and certainly not your fault.  I know not all of this can be blamed on missing Tommy, but I’m sure his absence and the anticipation can’t be helping.  I almost wish I hadn’t cleaned so much before y’all got here, I know how badly she wants to find something to criticize. »  Shelly giggled and said « you’re probably right.  And beyond being so clean, your house looks amazing! »  « thanks, » Lizzy smiled, I had a decent amount of spare time to spend figuring out exactly how I wanted it!  Originally I wanted to wait for Tommy to get home, but it was just getting ridiculous, plus all of our stuff was in boxes because there wasn’t furniture to put it in! » The two women stayed up another two hours or so talking and laughing until Lizzy had to go to bed so she could get up early to go to the airport.

Lizzy parked her car and tucked the garage ticket into her visor. She was so excited getting out of the car she could hardly close the door. Ten minutes later she was standing at baggage claim, watching for signs of exiting passengers. Suddenly she saw him come around the corner and she could feel her heart warm. Within a few long strides he had his arms wrapped around her. On the drive home, he couldn’t stop smiling as she told him about everything that had been happening in the past ten months. As they got closer to the house, Lizzy began to doubt herself. What if Pam was right and every decision she had made about the house was the wrong decision? What if Tommy hated it? Noticing the shift in her mood, Tommy gently put his hand on her shoulder, and with concern in his voice asked her « What’s wrong babe? Where did you go just now? » Lizzy forced a sad smile and confessed « I made a lot of decisions on my own for our home. I guess your mom’s quiet disapproval is just as strong as her overt criticism because I’m so afraid you’ll hate everything I decided on! We can redecorate if you really hate it, but I can’t give Daisy up. » Hearing the panic in her voice made him sad. It also made him annoyed with his mother. « Lizzy, » he started calmly, « of course we aren’t giving Daisy up, that’s not even a question. I know me being gone for so long forced you to do a lot on your own, but I’m sure you did a great job with the house. I’m sorry I was gone for so long, I missed you so much. » Lizzy took a breath and smiled, « I really missed you too. I’m so glad you’re here, I love you so much, » she said, feeling relieved.

When they arrived home, everyone was clamoring to give Tommy a hug and Lizzy ducked out of the way and rolled the suitcases to the laundry room. She waited a few moments for then crowd to calm, then asked « Are you hungry? I picked up bagels and I can make you some eggs as well. » « That sounds divine, » Tommy replied, « I’m starving. ». While Lizzy prepared his breakfast, Tommy sat and caught up with his family. After breakfast they walked through the house so that Tommy could see everything. « Obviously I wouldn’t have made any of these choices » remarked his mother, rolling her eyes in a way that she thought was subtle. Then Tommy spoke the words that made Lizzy want to marry him all over again. « Then it’s a good thing Lizzy made the decisions because I think it is perfect. » he stated simply, squeezing his wife’s hand and giving her a smile. Just then Daisy decided to give him a chance and came walking up to him slowly. He said hello to her and got down on her level to give her some love. He then got up to take a shower and a quick nap while his mother stood silently.

After his nap, Tommy asked to speak to his mother privately.  Maybe two hours later, Lizzy felt a gentle tap on her shoulder.  She turned around and found herself face to face with her mother in law.  « Lizzy, I have been a little harsh with you, and maybe that’s not fair, » she began, « Tommy is my only son and I want the best for him.  Maybe I’ve had a hard time accepting that what he wants isn’t the same as what I would choose for him. »  Lizzy knew that this was the closest she’d get to an apology, so she simply said « I understand.  I love him too. »