Vivian's Blizzard

Vivian stumbled through the icy mounds of snow covering the ground, almost in a daze. The dark grey clouds covered the sky, ensuring not even the slightest pinpricks of light peeked through; the only source of light coming from the old, rickety flashlight in her hands. She had been using her phone as a light source prior to the flashlight, but her phone had long since died. The beacon shook as she gripped it tight in her palm, a combination of the adrenaline rushing through her and the cold surrounding her. She wasn’t aware of how long she had been out in the snow. All she knew was that her friend was outside somewhere in the cold, and had been for a few hours at the least.

She cupped her hands around her mouth once more and shouted, her voice coming out raw and shaky from its near constant abuse. Like in all her previous attempts, her voice was absorbed by the snow around her, barely reaching her own ears. She paused in her footfalls with a shaky sigh, her arms falling to her sides and her open hand clenching into a fist. Vivian had been searching for almost an hour, and all her efforts had so far amounted to nothing. Snowflakes continued to pelt her face and wind whipped about around her, tangling her hair and piercing through her clothes to penetrate deep into her bones. Throughout her search she spotted no sign of North; her only constant companions being the sharp chill of the weather and the feeling of failure beating down on her.

She stepped forward as her legs buckled beneath her, sending her to her knees. She squeezed her eyes shut as tears welled up behind them. Balling her hands into fists, she pressed them against her head as a shout of frustration tore its way through her throat. Despite everything in her body telling her otherwise–begging her to turn back around, pleading with her to go home and rest–she refused to let herself stay down. She refuses to go back toward a warmth and comfort that she is privileged enough to return to while North is stuck alone in this frigid hell.

With newfound determination, Vivian dragged her fists across her face to clear her tears before heaving herself back onto her feet with a ragged breath. She pointed her flashlight out and angled it toward the ground around her, circling her surroundings once, twice, before raising it higher and circling once more. In the moment, the light coming from the flashlight feels more like the beacon of a lighthouse, beckoning sailors to safety. Vivian could only hope her light could do the same for North. The process repeated a few times more before suddenly, Vivian spots a slight shuffling in her peripheral.

“North? Is that you?” she questioned, swinging her light toward the direction of movement. She froze, her eyes–squinted in the snow–scanning for any new hints that her friend could be somewhere close nearby; her ears listening for anything other than the howling of wind rushing past her. After a few seconds of waiting with bated breath, a sudden shuffle catches in her beam. She almost dropped her torch in surprise as she rushed over, tripping over herself in the process.

Coming across the prone body of her friend, Vivian’s heart clenched in her chest, twisting—almost bursting with relief. She scrambled to her knees next to where the other girl was laying on her back, her body trembling from the cold and her skin pallid. North’s face split with a shaky smile at the sight of her. Small as it was, the sight of it seemed to light up the area around them, shining like a star in the night sky. It filled Vivian’s body with the warmth of the sun, a mixture of affection and something she couldn’t quite place running through her veins. 

“Oh, thank God I found you, what were you thinking? The news of the blizzard was all over the news, there’s no way you didn’t hear about it!” She laid a hand over North’s face and her breath caught in her lungs at the frigid temperature seeming to radiate from her body, seeming in the moment even colder than the snow falling around them.

North leaned her head into Vivian’s palm, closing her eyes and relishing in the gentle touch of the hand, and the feeling of being found. “I want-ted…to get you a g-gift,” she stuttered, the chattering of her teeth hindering her speech. “I know y-your birthday is coming up soon, so I…I wanted to ge-get you a gift,” she shifted her eyes to meet Vivian’s, lids heavy.

“That’s…you couldn’t have waited until the storm passed?” Vivian’s brows furrowed as she held the other girl’s shifting eyes.

“I fo-found the perfect-t gift…I had t-to get it right away. I wanted-ed it to be perf-perfect…” North’s voice lowered to a mumble, looking to the side. Out to the endless stretch of dark snow surrounding them, isolating the two girls from the world around them

“Anything you could’ve gotten me would be perfect, I promise,” Vivian tried to reassure, rubbing her thumb along the cheek of the other’s face, both in an attempt to gain her attention and to keep herself focused in present.

“It had to be perfect. I wanted to-to use it to…to…” North trailed off, before continuing in a whisper. “T-to ask y-you to be my girlfriend…”

Vivian’s mind scrambled to a halt as she tried to process the information. Her heart fluttered in her chest as she tried to fight the smile slowly spreading across her face. At any other time, she would have let herself indulge in the moment. But she had to much to focus on, her main priority being to get North to safety. Anything else could wait until after everything was over. Then, and only then, would she let herself have what she wanted.

“Why don’t you ask me for real after all this is over?” She asked, smiling, not wanting her refusal to answer to come off as a rejection.

North’s sleepy smile widened almost imperceptibly at her words, perhaps she had caught the meaning of her segue after all. Vivian glanced around the snow, just realizing that the space around her was dimmer than in had been, before spotting the trampled remains of her untrustworthy flashlight in the snow mere inches away from her. A quick curse left her lips as she looked around desperately, futilely, in search of another source of light.

“My-my phone,” North mumbled, handing over her phone. “It st-still has some batt-battery left in it-t.” Vivian let out a sigh of relief as she gently took it from her hand, her own hand trembling only slightly less. They both have been out in the cold for longer than they should have been, she thinks with a grimace.

She glanced toward the top of the phone’s screen. 12 percent. Not ideal, but she could work with it. She looked to the left of the battery’s percentage, a pit falling in her stomach as she reads the symbol representing an absent signal. Probably the reason she couldn’t track the other girl’s location in the first place. She huffed a deep breath while sliding her eyes shut, bracing herself. She opened her eyes once more and looked to North, her gaze resolute.

“I won’t be able to make any calls, unfortunately. But I can use your phone’s flashlight to get us back toward the road. The streetlights should provide enough lighting from there.” She looks to North, “Is that alright?” North just nods, before attempting to prop herself onto her arms, sitting instead of laying curled into her side.

“Woah,” Vivian leaned forward and took the other girl into her arms. “I’ve got you.” She lifted North up with one arm underneath her legs, another wrapped around her back. She tossed her slightly to shift her weight evenly across her arms as she stood up, the phone resting awkwardly in her hand. “It might have been easier to just let you hold onto your phone,” She says, chuckling softly. North gave her a small smile for her efforts, before letting her head roll, landing in the space underneath Vivian’s neck. The feeling of the other girl’s soft breath against her neck sent a shiver running up her spine as heat rushed to her face. She checked once more that North’s weight was evenly distributed, before angling the phone’s flashlight toward the ground and continuing onward.

Her trek from before had left her running in circles, and her lack of prior knowledge of the area certainly didn’t provide her any help. She was hopelessly lost, but she wouldn’t tell North that. Vivian looked to the sky, wishing not for the first time that night that the skies were clear, just so she could track the stars. She might not know much about constellations, or starts in general, but she could point the north star out from any point on the ground. When in doubt, go north, she used to tell herself. She could have used that advice now.

Just head north, she thought to herself, even while not knowing where exactly north is. She looked down at the girl in her arms, before turning her gaze straight ahead, her feet falling into step soon after.

Not five minutes into the walk, North stirred slightly. “I’m tired…” she mumbled, heaving a sigh with effort. Vivian looked down to her, the girl’s skin appearing impossibly paler. She just held her tighter to her chest. “Try not to fall asleep just yet. You can sleep when we get help. Just-just keep your eyes open for a little bit longer,” Vivian responded, quickening her sluggish pace.

After a few more minutes, the phone’s dim light illuminating the ground around them suddenly flickered off. With another quiet curse, she shifted North’s weight to one arm, using the other to pocket the now dead phone. North settled back into her arms evenly once more, and Vivian looked out into the open space around her, blinking her eyes to adjust to the lack of light. The snow looked grey, and the path ahead of her felt endless now that she couldn’t see more than about a foot in front of her. Regardless of the darkness, or of her awareness of North’s weight in her trembling arms, she refused to stop. Stopping now would result in the both of them not getting the help they need, and she could not–would not allow that to happen.

Eyes squinting in an attempt to bring in more light, she continues forward once more. Her breaths rise and fall almost as heavily as her feet. She tripped over a mound of snow, but regained her footing. Flakes of snow gathered on her eyelashes, now that she couldn’t bring up an arm to brush them off. 

She blinks. 

She breathes. 

She walks.

Eventually, a light in the distance, almost like the distant rays of a rising sun. Hope swelled up in her chest as her legs almost buckle beneath her. Light meant civilization, and civilization meant help. A few more fumbled footsteps and Vivian spotted the outline of streetlamps, and the paved road they line. Cars rushed too and fro, looking more like ants from the perspective their distance provided, but the sight was more than enough for tears to well up in Vivian’s eyes once more, however from relief rather than frustration.

“North!” Vivian shakes her arms, jostling her friend’s body with them. “North, l-look! We can get help. We-we’re gonna make it!”

But no response from the girl in her arms. 

Vivian tries again. 

“North?”

No response.

Her breath sped up as she risked a glance to the girl in her arms. She spotted the pale blue complexion of the other’s skin. The stiffness in her limbs that went previously unnoticed. The lack of movement at all from the other’s chest.

Vivian fell to her knees and placed North down on the ground. She tried to move her to lay flat, but her body remained in its curled position. She placed her fingers on her wrist, searching desperately for a pulse, and gripping harder when there is no pulse to be found.

“North, come on. Wake up!” But still no response. 

She put her head on North’s chest; strained to hear breathing, a heartbeat. Anything. But still no response.

Her stomach sat heavy inside her, only getting heavier as the seconds pass. Her tears fall down her face and freeze on her cheeks.

“Polaris, my north star, please! Just wake up!” She sat up, taking North’s face into her hand. “I need you, please…” she sobbed, “I love you too…”

She pushed the hair framing North’s face behind her ear, eyes scanning her face as the truth of her friend’s death finally hits her. 

“I loved you, too,” she whispered, cradling the girl’s frigid cheek in the palm of her hand, more precious to her than any other. She then let go, her hands curling into fists as she rest them against North’s chest before placing her head over the other girl’s lifeless heart. 

She let out a quivering breath, before lifting her head and releasing the scream that had built up within her, tearing out of her throat. The scream that fell deaf on North’s ears. Swallowed up by the snow and carried away by the wind. She screamed until her throat gave out.

She was all that remained, surrounded by silence and the frosty embrace of the dead.