You're invited! to Tea and Tarry
From 3PM to 10PM
We look forward to seeing you there!
Why is there always a certain amount of dread and excitement attached to social outings? instantly doubt going since you might not feel like it on the day and future casting can be a serious thing, to almost craving the company of new acquaintances and friends, wanting to know what kind of interesting is there to encounter. The fascination too much so eventually, on the very day, an hour before it starts, you do. However, this event held more angst, since one of the hosts was your former colleague and best friend, one that you hadn't seen for 3 months after needing a calmer life, though the way gone about leaving behind the work and friendships should have had more care, it was needed so that the implosion of self didn’t occur. Believing of course that actions within little communities can cause detrimental reactions, and for all the selfishness expressed by yours truly in the aftermath, it was enough of a burden to carry forward. Leaving the home, there was more deep breaths than logically and humanly needed, though that could easy contradict itself since the rattling of tails was beginning to sound. To venture 2 blocks to the Morrissey's, one would have to lead into the main street and through 2 parks, the walk short but ultimately sweet, you thought about driving but ended on walking, since it'll help calm that nervous serpent circling your spine, the distractions of nature, on a not so cloudy not so sunny day. There will probably be an unequal number of social circles but at least the comfort of knowing the hosts is present, even when their thoughts about you were more than in the air, how about not in this atmosphere instead. Now what was the last thing we talked about? That didn’t involve the heartache, when was the last time we talked? Was it when I left? Okay so what conversation could be considered the PG version. That’s right, Michael wanted to paint their front door fire engine red, and Henna wanted it forest green, both agreed on gold accents and doorknob, extensions in their backyard for a garden bed, they got a puppy in between the last interaction and now, a little chub pug named Kit, maybe, either way eagerness bloomed into each step at meeting them and their new little family member. Nothing else came to mind as the distractions started in place of reciting the typical scripts. That was good. Really good.
The area was quiet, slow hums of metallic engines, small
chitters of afar speakers, and the trees were bright in their splendid
colouring, swaying to the rhythm of each push and pull given by the wind, a following orchestra of creaks to groans from their wooden bearers. Small birds flew, large birds sored, both entering and exiting the scenic levels provided. Being outside in moments like these truly felt alike a fresh start could happen at any time, almost as if nature was inspiring it. Padded cobblestone was announced through an ankle wanting to give out, this path was the marker to the end of the walk being soon, and though knowingly short it still was a little sad in its recognition. Maybe another wonder was due after this expedition, one that lead into the nearby woods, rivers, and mountains. Entering the street revealed that neither the hosts had gotten what they had wanted, what stood as their entrance was copper in colour with darker accents, the house they had painted a deep green, new flora littered about in an enchanting welcome. The cries of laughter and humorous exaggeration sprung from the backyard in waves, the unmistakable short burst known as Henna’s laugh. From the front everything seemed to be going well at least… it was good.
Hesitation grew roots, wrapping round and round, the tightening of throat was the reminder the serpent hadn’t left, the doubt back having heard the fun, now wanting to leave at that contentment. The walk had done its job, now the rest being up to wanting to be present in the lives of people you liked and cared about, in the short 3 years Henna and I had worked together, before I became a recluse of course, it was fun, we laughed and cried, talked too much and not at all, and despite the barriers that had appeared between us, I just missed my best friend. I knew she missed me too, but I was unable to resemble a sliver of who I was becoming then, I turned into a different soul, a sad one that both did and didn’t want to be alone. Wanted help and yet just went through the motions. Alas … Coming here today was one thing, going and seeing Henna would be considered growth. Shifting legs felt alike weights had been attached but that wasn’t the issue, was it?
I heard there was a 5 second rule but instead of food it was with thoughts and it could be adapted to anything. Are you struggling to get out of bed? Don’t think about it for more than 5 seconds, otherwise you’ll convince yourself not to do it, since retreating into comfort is far too easy these days and the hard parts usually are what you need to do the most, the ones that help you get better at least. So, if I did it in all but five seconds, it would go like this.
1. Walking to the side gate
2. Entering and walked alongside the flower beds
3. Turning that corner
4. People talking, kids screaming and running, pets sitting and playing, all too familiar feelings overwhelming the other as turning to leave starts happening
“Rae?” shock, hopeful and denial sounded in Henna’s voice
Whipping around revealed the facial expression matched the tone, she looked the same but brighter somehow, happier, though whether that was since not being associated with me had occurred or not. But it didn’t matter anymore, I did it.