The Waiting Room

I’m sitting in a grey scruffy chair that has become flat and hard. It’s old and tethered like the faded floral wallpaper. I begin to get what the sad and old furniture feels like. I’m in an empty waiting room except for a kind woman at the desk, at a beaten pawn shop waiting for some reassurance. Or in other words, money for my wedding ring. I never wanted the divorce but after the suggestion was given by my wife, the idea was evident and reasonable. I had just never seen it before. 

  The only fresh youthful looking thing in this stuffy waiting room is the kind woman at the desk. I almost look as bad as the chair. Unshaved with dark bags under my eyes. I refuse to submit to the seduction of alcohol, but the sleepless nights are a different story. Me and the kind woman at the desk exchange smiles, of what emotion I don’t know. Perhaps there is none. Perhaps it’s for my own good. 

The kind woman at the desk walks over to me offering me a muffin. I accept. I don’t remember the last time I ate something but the slight ache in my stomach suggests I've forgotten breakfast. I see that her name tag says Athena. A beautiful name for a beautiful girl. She gives me a smile and my muffin and then goes back to her desk. 

My palms sweat and I can’t seem to make eye contact with her. The upbeat Jazz playing through the speakers isn’t helping with my uneasiness. I am legally and fundamentally single now, so why is this bothering me so? I just need to wait a little longer and I’m off. Never to see eachother again, only fate holding our destiny. 

My wife didn’t like when I would get unique and witful in my choice of thinking. I believe she was threatened. By the gentleness with a sprinkle of daring in Athena’s eyes I know she would understand me. But not when there's exchanging of silent smiles between us. Do I dare strike up a conversation? I shift my eyes away from hers. I decide to look again but she’s already occupied with her typing. 

She suddenly looks up again at me and smiles. I open my mouth to say something but she’s already beaten me to words. She asks me how I'm doing. Do I tell the truth or reply with a casual lie? I go with the less embarrassing route and reply with “Fine. Thank you.” Great. I return the question with a stutter and she replies with another one of her gentle smiles and says she’s doing well.  I give her a nod and a dopey smile, then force my eyes to look away before they become too attached. 

Several minutes go by and I almost forget why I've come to this fantastic place. Casual discussion gets passed around in the blaring silence between me and Athena. Then suddenly when i’m about to open up, a stranger walks in. A fairly handsome and tall stranger. Disappointment sinks in and I accept what fate has given me. Perhaps this is the end of me and Athena’s parallel. 

The handsome stranger gives Athena a bright smile after telling her his business and sits down with a magazine. The Jazz music becomes slower and outside it’s gray. I've barely spoken to the girl and I'm already feeling failure. I see the handsome stranger look over his magazine and smile at Athena then look back down with a slight shake of his head. 

I pick up a magazine from the coffee table and copy the exact move he did. She doesn't notice and continues to type at her desk. Suddenly she gets up and I dart my eyes at the magazine trying to act casual. She gives a little laugh and walks to the back room. I’m confused at first but then I realise what magazine I've picked up. “The Stay At Home Mother’s Digest” my cheeks burn and I slap the magazine back down on the table.

The handsome stranger looks over at me with sly eyes and pursed lips. I give him a smile and he looks back at his magazine with a shake of his head. What a nice guy. Athena comes out with a brown paper bag and hands it to the handsome stranger. He takes the bag with a winning smile and a wink but she doesn't seem won over. Then he leaves with a raucous out the door. 

And so, we’re back. But this time I force myself to take advantage of this wait. I ask her questions about herself, wondering if I'll remember every single word that escapes her pleasant mouth. Just this company with her sends me to another world. Only one other time have I ever felt this way. And it wasn’t with my ex wife.

It was with a girl at my high school. Our time together still occurs in my dreams. Emotions of another person like that, I haven’t felt for ages. After high school we went our separate ways. Never to see each other again. Fate had not intended for us to reunite, but a new opportunity had come along. This one I would not miss.

I didn’t care about waiting anymore. Nothing else was on the agenda and talking with her made the pain of the divorse a little more bearable. She asks me questions as well, and I answer with complete honesty, even the embarrassing ones. 

The jewelry lender finally comes out with my money and sends me off with an apology for the wait and hopes of a good day. I exchange the hopes with him and look at Athena. And she’s looking at me. I look at the kind woman at the desk and paint every aspect of her face into my memory so I wouldn’t forget what she was like.We give our smiles, with more emotion from our first introduction. 

I thank her for the warm hospitality, the only warm thing in this shabby waiting room, and she returns it with a tender laugh. Just before walking out the squeaking shop door, I look around the faded and tired waiting room one last time, and walk out never to return. I accept that fate will take its course with Athena. I slowly walk down the New York sidewalks with the waiting room jazz still playing in my mind, thinking, I would sell a thousand rings if I could wait here with her again.

Fin.