Another job that requires me to serve snobby rich people only to make my life miserable. I heard the "young master" was an ass hat but I guess that is none of my business. "Charlie what are you doing get to work." said the most ugliest woman I have ever seen no offense. I don't even remember meeting her proves to show how horrible I am at keeping a job. "Yes, ma'am" I said trying to restrain an eye role. Through the next half and hour all I have is the shrimp platter to comfort me which feels absolutely great. The marble floors, red carpet everywhere, chandlers glistening in my face is getting awfully tiring. I can understand their need for money but the urge to impress other with it I will never understand. "Why doesn't she love me!" a guy whaled as he leaned against the marble walls of the entrance to the party. Oh great a drunk. I didn't realize I was staring for he gave me a death glare so I shuffled away in a little dark corner on the balcony outside the party. "I mean what can I say what they don't know won't hurt them right if im slacking off a bit." I drifted closer to the edge and got grabbed on my right arm by some random dude which was actually kind of scary. “Help me out for a bit.” he whispered “Um excuse me I really have to…” I couldn’t get away he pulled me in to put me in a headlock. “Sorry bud” he said as if he was apologetic but his smirk told me otherwise. I tried to run away but even though I am a guy I have zero upper body strength which is clear to this guy for he doesn't even feel anything from my struggle. I noticed a maid tripping down the hallway clear a bit drunk calling out something. Of course she gets louder and I start to hear a name airplane no Arnold. “Andy I know you don’t like women who cling on to you but I love you.” she screeched as her mascara fell down her face turning into a huge scene. I saw the drunk guy in the hallway chasing after her saying “Why can’t you give up on him, I have money” he said as he casually took out 100 bills as if it was nothing. All I could do was watch this spectacle happen while being in a headlock which is not really a good look. Other people in the party obviously started to notice for the hostess of the party had to scurry along to chase them. The stranger loosed his grip and turned me around to give me a big flashy smile that could blind a blind guy. “Hey I’m Andy sense you’re here we might as well hang out.” All I could do was stare back at him in absolute confusion his messy brown hair and convincing blues were not helping at all. “Alright” which might be the most stupidest thing I have ever said. "Let's go" he said smiling back at me and pulling me in the hall outside with my shrimp platter. "Um I didn't really thinks this through and I'm still working so I might as well go back before I get in trouble," he still stares back at me as if he confused. "You're also kind of stranger so if you don't mind." I look up to only see he was laughing. "You just realized this was a bad idea," I stared blankly. He turned and smiled. "Anyway you're alright I'm your boss now" we made it down the staircase with him still pulling me but with my hand this time and we stood in front of a man dressed in tux obviously a guard with his stature. "Where are you going sir?" He said but shot down within a moment "Where I want" he said coldly has he dragged me into a black Sudan. "Can we backtrack for a moment your my boss and we are driving somewhere that you haven't mentioned yet making me really suspicious if you are my boss or not actually are you going to kill me." He gazed at me only to say " You talk a lot for someone who looks like their an introvert." he smiles again making me question if any of his past smiles were real. "All you gotta understand is you and me doom to meet so why deny it.Well that's according to my horoscope" He said as he was putting his car his keys in the car. I couldn't help but smile. "Is that what you said to the maid because you actually got my heart to skip a beat." I turn to him and he smiles "I'm glad it worked' I looked at my hand to see it missing. "Where is the shrimp platter." He started up the car and started to drive and turned toward me." Oh I threw that out when we were making a run for it guess you weren't paying attention to your dear pal which is bad." Already hearing him I know being near this guy at all is bad but he just is very alluring. I just stare out the window as the cars passed us by . "You know for someone who has been kind of kidnapped you're pretty calm" The answer to that question is I don’t know but I don’t dare give him an answer where he looks at me with a meaningful look in his eye and suddenly starts to smile. It will make me want to stay by his side anyway I want to live a quiet life. I must have gotten deep into this for I know what his reaction is . “Well I guess you didn’t seem to psycho so I trust you" he then suddenly just started chuckling. "Thanks for not thinking I'm a psychopath" "No problem, so the car stopped are we here?" I turn around to only see open land with nothing but green. "Perhaps you really are going to kill me" he sighs "We are here for sightseeing come on get out" we walk for a minute to a hill. "Are we going to climb this hill because I have never been athletic "he chuckles and turns around and smiles offering me a hand and for some reason I go and grab it.
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There's a good nucleus to "Mister Night". It needs work though. The story on revision could use being separated into five or six paragraphs. Then there are a series of spelling issues that need correction. The most glaring is there are three to four different stories being told but they do not flow. There's the main character who has a story. But as the story moves closer to the end, it jumps into a completely different story plot, setting and characters without a transition. And then next moves into another story plot, setting, and charac...
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