It All Started With A Ring

Trigger warning: A story of loss because of Cancer

Chapter 1

Looking at the rings now, Katie found herself lost in thought. Memories really of the love with Tracy that would never continue. So many memories, so long a life alone. They were married for 16 years, and she had been gone 5 years.

Suddenly a smile formed on her lips as she just caressed the diamond on her finger. Without another thought she pulled out her journal and began writing a letter to the woman who took her breath away those years ago. “I remember when you gave me this,” she said, lost in thought. “We were in the park on that bright sunny day. You had been so secretive just days before. Always on the phone and when I asked who you were talking to, you would laugh that sweet, innocent, laugh of yours and say it was a surprise. I love surprises so I just smiled back and forgot about it. At least for a while. But in the back of my mind, I found myself wondering what you could be planning. Never dreaming it was this.” Katie smiled again caressing the ring wishing it were Tracy.

“It was so beautiful that Saturday, we woke early and had breakfast in bed. Then after cleaning up and dressing, we headed out for the day. We had planned the trip to the zoo for months then the picnic, after that arm in arm we walked through the zoo seeing all the animals and attractions. "

“I couldn’t help but laugh when the dolphins drenched us as we watched them perform.” She laughed again at the thought. “We were both soaked. But then so were those sitting next to us as well. Thank goodness it was a warm day, and we dried soon enough. I remember though there were those who were angry that they got wet. Come on, what do you expect at a dolphin show? To stay dry? Hello.” She shook her head lost in thought.

“After we left the zoo, we went to grab food and head to the park. There were so many couples and families there all having a great and fun time. And we were going to fit right in. As we walked through the park we watched as families played ball, Frisbee, and tag. There were even dogs running around having fun in the sun as well.

Then we found the perfect spot under the tree by the lake so we could watch and feed ducks. You always did like ducks. Anyway, after we ate, we spread a blanket, and sat under the tree when you reached into your bag and pulled out a small square box and handed it to me.”

“Open it,” you said, smiling from ear to ear.

“Smiling, I did just that and saw the most beautiful ring, the very ring I now cherish. The very ring I will never replace.”

“As I looked at it, you gently took the box and lifted the ring from within. You shifted and told me you weren’t much for speeches, but you couldn’t let one more day pass without telling me how much you love me and wanted to spend every day of our lives together, you didn’t care what mountain you had to move, you wanted me in your life. Would I marry you?”

Katie paused for a moment as she relived the memory smiling. “Even though there were so many others there, some now watching there was just you and me. I remember as tears began to fall as I nodded yes instantly. YES! YES! YES! I cried as I pulled you into my arms and we both now cried.”

“Without realizing it, we had attracted a crowd of onlookers all watching with bated breath for my answer. After I said yes, cheers erupted, and everyone congratulated us before they headed their own way again. But for us the celebration continued as we headed home.”

“That was 16 years ago today and for 15 of those 16 years we were happy. Happier than we ever were. Then one day we headed to the doctor, and they diagnosed you with cancer. "

Chapter 2

As Katie sat there, she looked back at what she had written, it was clear her mood changed from happy to sad. As she now remembered the day that changed their lives forever, leaving her to carry on alone, she began writing again.

“That day at the doctor’s office our lives changed forever. Even though he gave you a year it still wasn’t enough time to get all the things we wanted to do or say or experience before you were cruelly taken away from me. "

“As I sit here now, I remember you saying there’s no need to be angry at the doctors or nurses and your right. They did everything they could to help you and make me feel at ease. Somehow, they knew I needed someone to be angry at and they were right. I did and still do. And I know you knew as well. But I’m getting ahead of myself, the years we shared before you were diagnosed were the most magical because we shared them together. Traveling to places we may never have before, and I won't again. At least not physically. We shared so many laughs, laughs I won’t forget. "

‘Each time I look at my ring, I smile because of the memories we made, and the happiness you brought me. I also remember seeing how you tried to hide the sadness in your eyes knowing that one day we would no longer be together, and I would be alone. But you didn’t have to hide anything, and I’m glad you finally let me in and shared your pain as I did mine. To see you suffer and know there was nothing -NOTHING -I could do to help broke my heart. All I could do was hold you as you cried. Which in turn made me cry and before long, we were both crying together. Now a year later, I sit here alone remembering the days after we said good-bye to you. "

“I refused to leave our home, because every time I did someone was giving me their condolences. And at first it was okay as I expected it. You were well loved and are very missed. But I couldn’t begin to heal with everyone telling me how much you meant to them. And no matter how hard I tried, they continued to console and comfort me. Then I remembered something you said early in our relationship; that to help ourselves we must help others. So instead of pushing everyone away I brought them to me, kind of like ‘suffer the children unto me kind of thing’.”

“I also spent many hours and days listening to songs that spoke to me of sadness and loss and how much it hurt to be without you, wishing upon every star - whether falling or not- that you would come back to me. Knowing the only time I will see you again was when it was my time to go. Then one day as I was cleaning the dressers I found a letter addressed to me from you, dated days after you were diagnosed. It was 5 pages long, leave it to you to write a letter this long. But it’s a letter I cherish every single day. And I read it every time I am missing you. Which is often. "

“Even while I write this, I find myself pulling it out to read it. To remind me of how much I was loved at least once in my life by someone very special.” To show Tracy that what she said was true she pulled the letter from a back pocket of the journal and opened it.”

“My darling Katie You are my life, my world, my everything. From the moment we met I knew we were going to not only be friends but so much more. And I’ll never regret the day we met, or years later when I asked you to be mine. You made me so happy when you said yes. And I vowed if it was within my power, I would never make you cry. Then came this STUPID diagnosis. No longer could I protect you anymore. Instead you began to protect me. You protected me against the pain and despair of seeing this thing spread, taking away the one thing I truly treasured- you. You were my strength when I was weak, my happiness when I was sad. Thank you. I will forever love you. Never forget that. And never think you are alone, I will always be with you.”

Love Tracy”

While there was more of the letter, Katie copied the letter sealing the original in the safe so it will be forever safe. She then highlighted the parts that touched her heart deeply and kept it by her bed.

There was another envelope with the letter, but it said do not open or read for 1 year. And to honor Tracy’s last request she didn’t. But today it was a year and a day since the passing, and it was time to see what it said.

“Dear Katie, it’s been a year and if you are just now reading this, you haven’t looked at this since my passing. But now it’s time to focus your grief into something positive and help others who are also suffering as you are. The following pages are organizations that I have looked into on your behalf and scheduled an appointment for you. I know what you are thinking, how could you Tracy, well I could and did because I don’t want you grieving for the rest of your life. You have a lot of love in you and it’s my hope that you find someone else to spend the rest of your life with and give them the love I have cherished during my life.

I love you.”

There were 4 different organizations on Cancer that Tracy had chosen for Katie to get involved with so her days would be filled helping others. And she was going to honor Tracy and speak with each one to see which one she was going to work with. 

Chapter 3

The top three were American Cancer Society, Children’s Cancer Organization and Breast Cancer Society. There was even an animal cancer agency. After reading through each one, she began making phone calls and speaking to them. The one she decided on was the animal cancer foundation because they both loved and cared for animals. She was even going to adopt a pet or two in Tracy’s honor.

Days later Katie came home with a volunteer position at the animal clinic and a cat and dog to foster.

“Welcome home you two to Tracy and Katie’s place. May your stay be safe and comfortable. Make yourself at home.”

The end