We weren't no scaredy cats

The Neighbourhood kids always talked about the creepy, old abandoned treehouse in the middle of the woods, past the creek that ran behind the fences in our backyards. Jane and I weren’t scared of nothin’. We were going to spend the whole night in that “scary” treehouse. We got the essentials to spend 24 hours in the treehouse; blankets and pillows, a ouija board, a little alarm clock, a few board games, and of course a chamber pot, pee bucket, whatever you wanna call it. And yes. We dumped it out off the treehouse patio porch thing. What? It’s in the middle of the woods! 

Me and Jane were all set by 9 A.M. the morning of our mission. We told the other kids what our plan was. They were all shocked that me and Jane of all people decided to do this. We were kind of known for bein’ scaredy cats. We would never go with the other kids when they went down to the water hole to swing off a rope into the water. Sure it sounds like fun, but there were too many sharp rocks. Oh and that one time when all the Nebbies (that’s what we call the preppy neighbourhood kids) went down to the theatre and watched a shark movie. I still haven’t seen it and it’s been years since it came out. Yes I can spend a night in a creepy treehouse but I can’t watch Jaws. sharks frighten me, okay?  We weren’t no scaredy cats. Anymore, at least.

 Alrighty, So Jane and I had all our stuff ready to go by nine. We told our parents we were going to a sleepover at a friends house, and then we left. The Nebbies were too frightened to even get near as we went up because of the spirits that could be lurking. They believed that a couple had built the treehouse as an everlasting sign of their love and then hung themselves from the railing of the porch area after they finished building it. 

Jane ‘n me ran to the woods, through the creek leaving our bare feet and the tips or our jeans muddy and wet. I don’t know why we were wearing jeans. Maybe to protect us from mosquitoes? Because July is humid where we grew up so our legs were sweating to death. When we got to the treehouses location we stood and looked up at the bug infested, cobweb ridden box of wood. We stood for what seemed like a while but was probably only a couple seconds until I motioned for Jane to start climbing up the long path of boards nailed into the tree. She seemed hesitant at first but she started climbing. As she climbed up into the leaves and branches off of overgrown trees around us, her backpack with the half broken strap bobbed up and down and looked like it was going to snap. Soon enough, she got to the top and opened the door. I heard the hinges creak from the ground. She stepped inside the dark frame and quickly pulled out her flashlight and turned it on. When she shone the light, the inside didn't look too bad. Of course there were spider webs and dead bugs and dirt and dust coating everything, but that was to be expected. Other than the cleanliness of the quite wide space, it was overall in pretty good shape. After taking a quick look around Jane yelled from above and said it was safe to come up.

 As I was climbing the tree ladder I began wondering that if Jane deemed the treehouse unsafe or there was a person in there, would Jane have “Tarzaned” the get away or climbed down the ladder? 

Anyway, I got to the top and looked inside, where I previously explained that the area wasn't too dirty, and it was pretty spacious. Us being smart, we brought bottled water and rags so we dampened a rag and wiped down the small checkers table that was built inside. (It was rumoured that the couple loved board games, especially checkers.) After one wipe of the table, there was enough grime and dust to sculpt an anthill. Several rags later, the table was filth free. We started to dump out the contents of our backpacks on the table when I had an idea. I had to leave Jane all alone for a few minutes to run by my house real fast. I told her I would make it quick, and ran as fast as I could back to my house. When I arrived, I opened the door real slow and peeked in and did a quick look to see if the coast was clear, because momma would think it's weird to come get cleaning supplies while I'm at a friends house and she would find out I lied. I snuck in real quick, grabbed a ton of wet wipes, paper towels, rags, a couple little art things like paint, some little decorations and even a little handheld broom and threw it all in a bag and ran right quick back to Jane. I climbed up the ladder with my bag in my mouth. When I got to the top, Jane wasn’t in the treehouse no more. I immediately got worried and started calling out for her. She must’ve not heard me but I saw her down by the creek lookin’ at the little minnows and toads. She probably got bored being by herself since I’m her best friend and all. I went to go get her and to show her my plan, which was to clean the treehouse and porch so we could use it as our little getaway spot/clubhouse. By this time we hadn't been there long, but from 10 A.M to 3 P.M. We cleaned like fiends. We dusted, wiped, and swept the hell out of the treehouse. When we finally finished, the place nearly sparkled.

 After we were done cleaning, we rinsed our sooty rags in the creek, and tossed our used wet wipes and cleaning supplies back into the bag I had brought them in and set them aside. Then from there we put up the decorations I brought, which were just little bunting banners and a Beatles poster or two. After that we organised the stuff we brought from our houses. We laid out our blankets and pillows next to each other on the floor, put our snacks in our pillowcases, and stacked our board games on the game table. Our pee bucket had already been out and used a few times so I wiped the inside down real quick. And now, you must be wondering why I brought paint. Well, Jane loves to paint so I thought I’d surprise her by letting her do little paintings or murals on the walls and the outside of the cabin. I gave her the paint and she loved that I thought of her hobby. But I forgot the paint brushes, so the first thing she fingerpainted on the wall was J+J on the inside of a heart. That’s the reason we’re together today. So fellas, always bring paint. But that’s a story for a different day. 

Anywho, Jane made some pretty good finger murals considering I didn’t bring much paint. I think it was little 8 ounce bottles of the standard colours of the rainbow minus indigo because who needs indigo? We soon got hungry and each ate a granola bar and a couple of cashews. Then me and Jane talked for a while. I didn’t realise how long we talked ‘til I looked at our little clock. It read 8:47. My daddy taught me how to tell time on an analog clock when I was real little. Since it was getting dark, we decided to do the ouija board to see if those treehouse spirits were even real or if the Nebbies were full of baloney.

 Jane and I put our fingers on our homemade ouija board the way we saw the other kids do it, and we asked a question; “are there any spirits here?”. Nothing happened immediately after we asked the question. After a minute we almost moved on but then I felt a cold chill and I got goosebumps. Our fingers started to move to the no. those darned ghosts. We ain’t stupid. If you move our fingers then you’re here. So now we knew that they were silly ghosts. At least weren’t meanie ones tryin’ to hurt us. This time we asked “is the couple hanging story true?” and our answer was yes. We tried to get the ghosts to tell us why they did it but they wouldn’t budge. I think that they wanted their love to last forever and remain true. So they killed themselves so their love would be preserved because I don’t think you can cheat on your partner in the ghost world. That's just my hypothesis. I’m probably wrong. We talked to that couple for hours and they were actually pretty rad. 

Around 12 we decided to play the board games we brought. I beat Jane at every game we played, except for one. I beat her at Which witch, King oil, and Bermuda Triangle. But she wins every time at Scrabble because she’s smart like that. I don’t know why every time I play her I think I’ll win. 

You may think this is a lot of stuff, but we have huge matching camping backpacks we got for Christmas from our parents one year even though we ain’t religious. That’s why we had so much stuff. 

It was 3:33 A.M. and we each made a wish and then went to lay down on our blankets and pillows. It was actually quite comfortable despite being on a wooden floor. Me and Jane inched closer and closer as we closed our eyes. Keep in mind we were youngins so we didn’t do nothin’ naughty. We went to sleep after chattin’ a little bit and saying goodnight to the silly ghosties.

 We woke up fairly early and decided to go tell the Nebbies about our adventure, but of course, so our clubhouse wouldn’t get overrun, me and Jane lied and said it was the dirtiest place we’d ever seen, (which most definitely wasn’t true, because my great auntie Brenda’s house was. She was a hoarder.) And we said it had tons of mean spirits that threatened to haunt us forever, and we said that there were spiders big as ceiling fans. We told the Nebbies we left early because it was so creepy. After that, none of them wanted to go near it but for some reason still called Jane and me scaredy cats even though none of them were brave enough to go up there in the first place. But whatever. We got a nice lil’ treehouse all to ourselves and I would say that’s a win. 

Oh and when we went back to our houses none of our parents ever found out we lied about going to a friends house. So that’s good too, because if my daddy found out I ever lied about something, he would whoop me ‘til I couldn’t sit down. I guess it worked though because today I’m a little sneaky but well disciplined. But I think he still whooped me a wee bit too hard. What? My butt is sensitive.

 Well, anyway, that’s the story of me and Jane fixin’ up the treehouse. none of the Nebbies ever found out we lied either. Well one did, but we threatened to tell her parents she was hooking up with someone five years older than her so she wouldn’t tell the others. She got quiet real quick. 

Told ya stupid Nebbies we weren’t no scaredy cats, but did they believe us? No. it’s okay though. We know we aren’t.