Not My ID!

The beeping of monitors has become the ever-present ICU audio wallpaper. I can’t open my eyes and I’m stuck, paralyzed in this uncomfortable prickling bed. I can hear my uncle’s voice mumbling something to me from time to time, but I can’t make anything out of it. I’m assuming he’s the one taking care of me right now. My uncle, Sean, is an endocrinologist but I’m not sure if he’s one of the doctors treating me right now or I’m just in another hospital and he’s just visiting. I don’t know how many days have passed, but I hope it hasn’t been too long. I just don’t want them to take out the ventilator thinking that there’s no chance for me to wake up and live a normal life again because I don't want to die for the second time. I just have to at least move my hand or a finger while a doctor or a nurse is checking on me. I have to give them a sign that I’m now conscious but still 99% paralyzed.

Instantly I hear footsteps walking inside my ICU room. Perfect timing. Okay, I just have to move my finger and just hope whoever’s in the room with me notices.

“Ruben” my uncle’s brittle voice called out to me. “I want to say that I’m sorry in advance if I accidentally kill you right now…”

Hold on, what did he just say?

“For four years I’ve been constructing this complex contraption that can transfer someone’s mind into someone else's, and you’ll be the first test subject for my experiment. But don’t worry, I’m confident this will work. It has to.”

Huh?

“I have to stop the ventilator first”

For crying out loud, somebody arrest this man! He’s gonna kill me!

After the sound of a single monitor beep, my eyes instantly opened. My eyes quickly adjusted to the white ceiling above me covered with multiple glow-in-the-dark stickers. I sat up on my bed gasping for air as I scanned the scrupulously spotless ICU room. 

“I’m alive…” I whispered to myself with my hands on my chest, still gasping uncontrollably. I looked around again and realized that my uncle is nowhere to be found.

“Uncle Sean?” I called his name. 

All of a sudden I hear multiple shotguns firing somewhere in the hallway. Without warning, two cops barged into my room with their guns pointing right at me.

“Woah! W-what’s going on!” I raised both of my arms up instinctively.

“Shut up!” one of them said as they both began closing in on me.

“Look man, I just woke up from a coma…”

Suddenly, three strangers appeared behind them with guns pointing at the back of the cops’ heads.

“Hello officer! We’ll take it from here, thanks!” said one of the girls before pulling the trigger, killing the two police officers right in front of me. I sat there on my hospital bed in utter shock. The guy tagging along with two of the strange girls looked at me weird.

“What? Get up. I have a jewelry store to rob at seven.”

“What?” I asked, still utterly stupefied. 

The guy sighed exasperatedly. “Robbery due at seven. Dinner at nine. I’ll kill you at eleven if you don’t get up right now!”

“I don’t know you! My name is Ruben. I think you got the wrong room, sorry.” 

“You’re so funny, you should be a comedian!” said the guy sarcastically. “I don’t know if you’re having a temporary memory loss or you’re just messing with us. If it’s the latter, I’ll kill you. We came to save your ass only because Gwen insisted.”

“Well, he took a fucking bullet for you, so stop being an ass and help him get up.” said one of the girls.

“Fine!”

He came closer to me and hoisted me up from the bed.

“I don’t want to piggyback you. You’re heavy” and dropped me on the floor. I winced at the pain of my butt harshly making contact with the cold and sooty floor. 

“Drew!” the two girls scolded at the same time.

“So walk,” he said impudently. 

“I think my tailbone just ruptured…” 

The two strange girls helped me walk out of the ICU room. I looked around to see a lot of police officers scattered everywhere on the floor unconsciously. The nurses and doctors were nowhere to be found. They’re probably hiding in patients’ rooms. There was no sign of uncle Sean anywhere.

“Can you walk now? You’re heavy.” said the high ponytail girl.

They both slowly let me go and helped me stand still on both legs. I was a bit wobbly, but I adjusted quickly.

“Who?” I pointed to the high ponytail girl.

She scoffs at me. “Jae, you can’t be serious right? I’m Lola! You seriously can’t remember ME?” she asked.

“I’m not Jae, I’m Ruben Bowie. I think all of you are confused because I look a lot like this Jae guy. Sorry to disappoint you, but I hope you don’t kill me though.” 

“What's he talking about?” Gwen said.

“Hey! Save the chit-chatting later because more police are coming this way, so just leave that useless demented guy behind so we can get to the car in time! Yes?”

“Shut up Drew! Go distract them alone while we find another way to get him to the car, yes?” Gwen retorted.

“For fucks sake!” 

“Come on!” Lola said as they both dragged me towards the elevator is.

As the doors were closing, I saw Drew giving me the middle finger. 

“Honestly, what’s his problem?” I asked in frustration.

“He’s like that 'cause of what you did yesterday, if you even remember.” Lola said.

“Huh?” I was puzzled at her vague answer.

“Nevermind.” Lola gave up.

“You know this is kidnapping, right?” I said.

“Tsk. You’ll remember us soon so this does not count as ‘kidnapping’ but ‘saving’ you, you ungrateful bastard.” Lola replied.

I turned to look around the elevator and was met with a mirror and I was appalled by my reflection. That is not me! Who is that? This unfamiliar red-head guy, face almost completely covered in freckles, and this weird scar across the lip. My hand instinctively touched my face and I was even more confused than before.

Without getting the time to process what I’m seeing, the elevator door opened up and I was once again reluctantly dragged by these two strange nutcases. 

“Where did you park the car Lola!” 

“Wait, I forgot! I think it’s this way!” Lola pointed to the left.

They continue to drag me towards their car parked in a dark corner, closest to the exit. I had no time to contemplate whether I should follow these two strangers, but I guess I don’t have a choice because I’m not even in my own body and I have a feeling that these cops that are after them are after me too for some reason.

As soon as I took a seat in the back, I buckled myself up with the seat belt. Gwen, who called for the driver’s seat, hit the gas and made a reckless U-turn towards the exit. As we egress the area by heading west, numerous police cars emerged from all directions.

“T-they’re closing in on us!” I cried out.

“Keep your eyes wide open baby ‘cuz I’m gonna snake through these cars!” Gwen shouted erratically.

“Gwen no!” Lola yelled as Gwen daringly sped up towards two incoming police cars. 

Lola and I yelled at the top of our lungs as we reluctantly watched Gwen driving foolhardy towards our death. Unexpectedly, the two police cars briskly hit the breaks leaving just enough space for the car to swiftly pass through without a single scratch.

“You crazy motherfucker! I hate you! Y-you almost had us killed!” I screeched at the top of my lungs. 

“But here we are still in one piece! Aren’t you thankful that I saved our ass from the cops?” she grinned smugly.

“I’d rather just be arrested by them for crimes I never even committed than to die a painful death, thank you very much!”

“Oh boohoo! Save your tears for later because we’re gonna fetch Drew at the entrance.”

“Tsk. I’m pretty sure he’s already arrested by now…” 

Speak of the devil, there he is dashing out of the hospital entrance like a madman, scampering towards the speeding car.

“I spoke too soon.” 

“You’re gonna run him over!” Lola yelled.

“Can we all agree on the fact that we don’t like him?” Gwen said grimly.

“GWEN!” she shrieked.

She finally hits the brakes. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you!” Drew yelled as Gwen just cackled like it was all part of her plan.

Drew yanked open the backseat door, still giving me the same distasteful look as I scurried to the other side.

“Is homicide funny to you!?” Drew grilled Gwen.

“Let’s not pretend like you weren’t running towards my car while I’m speeding! Just say you’re purposely trying to get into an accident to sue me or something.”

“Like hell I would risk fracturing 206 of my bones to get money off of you! And stop pretending like you’re not broke!” 

“Broke!?”

Police cars started charging towards us far behind, but the two were too busy to notice as they’re still quarreling about the incident.

“Get out of the car! Let’s see how you like it when I speed towards you!”

“This is MY car. Get your own. Oh wait, you can’t because YOU’RE broke!”

“I BOUGHT THIS CAR FOR YOU!”

“NO, YOU STOLE IT!”

“JUST DRIVE!” Lola and I yelled in unison.

Gwen immediately hits the gas and speeds away from the situation. We enter the busy highway. With Gwen’s driving expertise, she’s able to slip through cars to get as far as away from the police cars.

“Where are we going!?” I said as I gripped on to the grab handle tightly. 

“Jewelry store! We’re still sticking to the plan, remember?” Gwen said.

“Oh...of course…”

After forty minutes of speeding on the highway, Gwen pulls up in a mall parking lot. She parks under a tree surrounded by thick bushes, closer to the exit. Gwen and Lola unfastened their seatbelts and opened up the glovebox to take out their handguns. 

“Oh, Jae, this is yours.” Lola passed me a custom green Kimber handgun.

“This is not mine!” I said clasping on the handgun restively.

“It isn’t?” Lola asked puzzledly.

“It is. He’s got dementia, remember?” Gwen said.

“Oh, right!” Lola agreed.

Drew was the first one who got out of the car. He scanned the parking lot, checking if there were any police in hindsight. Drew tapped the backseat window to get my attention.

“Since you’re useless because of your dementia, stay here and be on the lookout. If you run away, I will kill you myself. Capiche?”

“He needs to come with us. He’s better at aiming than you.” Lola tried to reason.

“Not anymore because people with dementia can’t remember anything! All of his skills are now wasted.” Drew walks away, getting ahead towards the mall.

“You heard him. Stay here and be on the lookout.” Gwen said to me sternly. “Run away and I will shoot you in the leg!” she warned as she and Lola got out of the car, leaving me behind.

I sat there frozen and stupefied. My mind is filled with so many questions that only one person I trust can answer. Uncle Sean. I jumped to the front seat and looked through the glove boxes and found a burner phone. Perfect. I just need to call uncle Sean and ask him what the hell is going on. I punched his number and pressed the dial button. One ring. Second ring. Third ring...

“Hello?”

“Uncle Sean!”

“Who’s this?”

“It's Ruben! HELP ME! There’s these three strangers who abducted me and they think I’m their friend ‘Jae’ and that I have dementia. I don’t have dementia! I’M LITERALLY IN A CRIMINAL’S BODY!”

“Calm down boy! Hold on, let me just process this...hmm, this means my experiment worked!”

“What experiment- wait, YOU DID THIS TO ME DIDN’T YOU!” 

“Calm down-”

“REVERSE WHAT YOU DID! I’D RATHER STAY IN A COMATOSE THAN STAYING HERE! REVERSE IT!” I yelled furiously to the phone.

“I’m sorry, but the device can only do that one time! I have to make another one and that can take me another four years.”

“ARE YOU SERIOUS!?”

“I need you to tolerate this situation right now! I know it’s perplexing, but I need you to stay alive and not get caught by the police...for at least four years.”

“FOUR YEARS?”

“In four years you’ll be back to normal! Take my word! In the meantime, you have to tolerate being Jae Backman, one of the most wanted criminals in America, along with those three who abducted you.” 

“IDENTITY THEFT IS NOT A JOKE UNCLE SEAN! MILLIONS OF FAMILIES SUFFER EVERY YEAR!”

“...Are you...quoting The Office?”

“TELL ME WHAT AM I GONNA DO NOW! I WANT TO GO HOME!”

Police sirens immediately filled the place as the police cars thronged into the mall’s parking lot. A helicopter appeared, hovering not too far from the car I’m hiding in.

“I’m doomed.” I chuckled.

“Ruben? Are you there?”

I turned off the phone and anxiously lay down on the car floor as multiple police cars passed me by. I held my breath the whole time as if it’s gonna elevate my camouflage ability.

Three of the car doors opened up in unison, and to my surprise it was the three of them. 

“GET UP!” Drew yelled.

“OKAY!” I sit myself down.

They all put on their seat belts and I instinctively put on mine. We watched as the police cars patrolled to another area of the parking lot.

“BABE, HIT THE GAS!” Drew yelled.

Gwen hits the gas and we sped away from the mall parking lot, leading mobs of police cars trailing right behind us. The helicopter I saw not too long ago was also catching up to us. The police started shooting and aiming for the tires. One of the bullets penetrated through the rear window car, missing my head by an inch. 

“WE’RE GONNA FUCKING DIE!” I screamed at the top of my lungs.

“NO WE WON'T! NOW MAKE A RIGHT TURN!” Drew yelled.

“THAT’S NOT POSSIBLE! WE’RE GONNA CRASH!” Lola shrieked, gripping tightly to the grab handle.

“DO IT NOW!”

After putting a ton of pressure on Gwen, she succumbed and jerked the car to the right. The car soared from the highway like something you only see in movies, and it landed somewhat safely on the roadway, still in one piece.

“WE’RE ALIVE!” Gwen shouted.

“NOT FOR LONG!” Lola pointed towards the incoming cars moving our way. 

It took only a second for us to realize that we’re driving in the opposite direction as everyone else.

“AAAHHHHH” We all screamed in unison as Gwen made an effort to avoid getting crashed.

“I’M GOING LEFT!” She yelled before jerking the car to the left, driving out of the road and heading on to grass. The car was uncontrollable, and before we had time to think we crashed into a tree. The impact was so great, the tree was knocked down and the front of Gwen’s car was almost completely wrecked. Thankfully the airbags came out just in time to shield Lola and Gwen, while Drew and I got our faces painfully planted on their car seats. We were all still conscious and it seemed like nobody was seriously injured, except for a few bruises and scratches on the face and legs.

“I am NOT TRYING TO END UP LIKE PAUL WALKER TODAY! WAKE UP GUYS! WE NEED TO HIDE!” Drew yelled, wincing in pain.

We all got out of the car as our brain began to register the pain everywhere in our body.

“Bush! Two o'clock!” I pointed at the thick bush not too far away from where we were. 

As we all painfully crawled our way to the bush, Gwen’s car behind us burst into flames. The police sirens were getting closer, but we all made it safely to the bush. The police arrived at the chaotic scene we left for them to deal with. Now we have to focus on relocating to a place further away from the police. 

“Drew, you got any plans?” I asked him, clutching my right arm in pain.

“To be honest, I just wanna go home, man.” he said, still gasping uncontrollably.

“Forget that! Thanks to you three, I don’t have a home to go back to! I say we're back to the hospital.”

“Are you hearing yourself? What the hell do you think they’ll do? Treat us and let us go?” Lola questioned.

“My uncle is a doctor there. Why don’t you just trust me this time? I trust you guys to drag me along with your crazy adventures, so it’s time you put your trust in me too.” I preached.

“Jae, you don’t have an uncle…” said Lola.

“I am NOT JAE, and I DO have an uncle, and MY NAME IS RUBEN. NOW FOLLOW ME.”

“He’s gone loony again.” Drew whispered under his breath.

“I HEARD THAT!”

They all reluctantly rise up from the ground and limp behind me as I lead the way. I have decided that we’re all gonna go back to the same hospital as I have so many questions for uncle Sean. Until then…

“Do you even know the way to the hospital?” Gwen finally asked the question.

“That is a very good question, Gwen. Why don’t we just stroll around a bit while I watch out for signs of a hospital. Yes?”

“Told you he’s still unhinged.” Drew commented. 

Change of plans. Now Drew is the one leading the way, and until then I’ll find my way back home and I hope they do too.