Pillow Talk - Hot Legs Sandwich

(Sexual content)

“Move your leg slightly.”

“Huh?”

“Move your leg slightly, so I can put my feet between your legs, open them slightly, that’s it. Great!”

“Huh?”

“I need the warm bit, there. It’s like a hot legs sandwich, your legs are the bread, and my feet are the tasty filling inside. Much better than a hot water bottle. More cozy.”

“Huh!”

“You should be pleased that my sexy feet want to be in your leg sandwich, be grateful.”

“Huh!”

“Do you remember coming to bed? You were blotto, absolutely blotto last night!”

“You snore when you are drunk, the whole room moves, it’s like being at sea, with the windows open, portholes, or whatever.”

Hmmm.”

“I saw you chatting up Alison tonight, I wish you would give me more attention like that now and again.”

“What were you two talking about anyway? Sooo close, whispering in each other’s ears. I saw you!”

“Anyway. What were you drinking? You were plastered!”

“No – don’t move, don’t. Go on your side, please! I need my feet in the leg sandwich.”

“Hmmm.”

“That’s it. Ohhh I could pay for this!”

“Your leg sandwich.”

“So, what were you and Alison talking about? Were you talking about me?”

“She has a better stack than I, and they are real, no fillers, no cement, no wonder bra!”

“Your head kept wandering inches away from her bobbies, you were swaying, one minute whispering in her ear, next minute leering down at her chest, next nearly spilling your drink down her chestiles. Poor girl was being eye-raped and trying to avoid your drink spilling down her expensive dress, all at the same time!”

“Good job your hands were occupied!”

“I didn’t know you were a cleavage kind of guy. You always said you liked my boyish, elfin shaped body. I can have a boob-job if you want! – You need to pay for it though.”

“Hmmm.”

“Or you could buy me a dress like the one she wore, it was Chemena Kamali designed, low cut, she wasn’t wearing a bra, just the dress and some perfume, but I guess you know that don’t you.”

“Huh!”

“Those shoes matched the dress, amazing. Did you notice her shoes, you stared at them for so long down through her cleavage. You must have seen them.”

“What were you drinking tonight?"

“Or was it a quick sniff in the bathroom, you were away with the fairies!”

“You didn’t notice me coming to bed, did you?”

“Nah!”

“You didn’t notice me all night! Only eyes for Alison!”

 “Good job you have warm legs for my poor cold feet.”

“Did you know that Alison has a tattoo in an intimate place?”

“Huh?”

“Yes, it’s a small butterfly, very colourful, with purply-blue wings, and a bright red body. Would you like me to get a tattoo? I think it’s sexy, edgy – for my intimate few. You might like it. Maybe, dream about me. Want to undress me, to discover my butterfly. You might want to start paying me more attention, and not that Alison!”

“She has it right above her Venus de milo, where only lovers’ dwell!”

“Do you remember collapsing on the couch?”

“Nah”

“You were out of it!”

“What did you two talk about anyway, Alison’s an interesting girl. Did she say anything about us? me and her.”

“I knew you were safe with her; you know why? She doesn’t enjoy men, not sexually, she prefers women. So, I watched you two tonight, all night; and laughed, chuckled inside, knowing that your best chat up lines weren’t going to make a blind bit of difference to getting into that girl’s knickers. You had no chance of taking off her Chloe designer dress, and her slipping off those designer shoes – no chance!”

“Huh!”

“Anyway – Alison loves me! I’m the only one that knows about her butterfly!”

“Huh!”

“Next time you come to bed, stagger, and collapse into the bed, stoned out of your bloody mind. You might want to find out who is in bed with you. Ménage à trois, you may have heard about. I’m your girl for the moment, but I’m not sure Alison is up to sharing. Not in this bed tonight, isn’t that right - Alison?”

“What?” He said, and at the same instant leapt out of the bed, tripped on the floor in the dark bedroom, and collided with the wall. Fumbling for the light switch, he finally made a connection.

The bedroom was immediately bathed in light. Squinting his eyes against the bright light, he stared at the bed. Avril with her head propped against her angled hand and arm formed a triangle, and upon her face was the biggest impish grin on her face.

However - she was alone in bed.

So many feelings went through his mind and showed on his face. The strongest all-encompassing feeling stayed on his face, that of embarrassment. “You bastard!” He stammered hoarsely.

She let her head lean backwards, and let out a dirty throaty chortle, knowing that she had won, in so many ways - again. “Come to bed, big boy, I need your hot body, especially those legs, my feet are freezing!”

He staggered back to bed and positioned himself ready for the feet 'intrusion.

“What if I had been in bed with Alison, you certainly wouldn’t have known anything!”

“Are you two having an affair?” he asked meekly.

“You wouldn’t be none the wiser, the mysticism of a woman, her secrets she never reveals!”

“You owe me a designer dress and shoes, and some jewelry.”

“What for?” He said full of suspicion and surprise.

“For believing what I said.”

“I can’t win any which way, can I?” He said defeated.

“Of course, not – once you understand that I’m always right, you will feel so much better.”

“For now, I will take a feet sandwich as a measure of your faith and commitment, until we hit the shops tomorrow, for what you promised! Open those legs slightly. Move your leg slightly to the right, there’s my feet, yes now close your legs, open them slightly, a bit, that’s it. Great!”

“Huh?”

“Good night, and by the way Alison is hiding in the cupboard!” She sniggered.

“Nooo – don’t move your leg, my feet will get cold!”