Coffee Shop Talk

John groaned as he worked his way through the crowd towards the sign that read “Pick Up Here.” Why couldn’t life ever be simple? All he wanted to do was get some coffee and be on his way, but of course, the only coffee shop in this shitty little town was packed with wall to wall dumbasses. He shouldered his way into an open space by the counter so he could hear when his coffee was ready but, looking at the crowd, it was going to be a while.

“Wow this place is really popular today” someone said.

“I’m sorry, what?”  John said, coming out of his bitter thoughts.

“I said, this place is really crowded today” the man standing next to him repeated.

“Yes” John answered, hoping the monosyllable reply would convey his disinterest.

“I guess the coffee here must be really good if this many people are willing to wait for it. I’m sorry I haven’t introduced myself.  I’m God.”

John rolled his eyes and silently cursed his luck. Why did the crazy guy have to pick him to talk to, especially today of all days? Finally, he relented and took a good look at the man and was surprised. He was a tall, attractive guy, plainly dressed in an old pair of faded blue jeans, with a white cotton oxford shirt, untucked with the sleeves rolled up, and of course, leather sandals. He had shoulder-length blond hair and a handsome face with a broad grin on it; his hand was extended for shaking. 

John was certain he would regret it, but he shook the stranger’s hand.  “I’m sorry, did you say your name was God?”

“Well, that’s what most people call me, or at least most people in this part of the world. Different people call me different things. I try to not be too picky about what they call me. I’m just happy that they believe in me; so many people today don’t” he replied with a half-smile that said he had had this conversation a hundred times before and had heard all the jokes but still didn’t mind doing it all again.

“Let me get this straight. You’re God. Like THE God, like from the Bible and everything, like the one I’m supposed to be praying to, to save my eternal soul or something.”

“Yes, that’s me, the Creator of Heaven and Earth and all that other stuff. I know it’s a lot. No one believes me at first, not Moses, not Joan, no one. But I’m telling you, John, I am God.”

John needed a moment to process what this guy was trying to tell him and had a small fight or flight moment. Should he confront this guy on his bullshit? Or should he just walk away and do without his coffee?  He had enough things to handle today and he did not need to add a crazy stranger to his to-do list. Before he could decide, though, the stranger made the choice for him.

“I understand it’s a lot to take in, especially for someone like you that hasn’t been to church in twenty years. But I promise you that I am God” the stranger said.

John closed his eyes and took a deep breath, wrestling for control of his emotions. “Look. I don’t want to be an asshole, but this is just not the day for this shit. I just want to get my coffee and get out of here. I’ve got a lot of things I have to take care of today.”

The man gave John a sympathetic look and said, “I know John. That’s why I’m here. I’m here to help you.”

There it was again.  John thought the stranger had used his name before, but now he was certain. Who the hell was this guy? John forced a smile on his face not wanting to make a scene in the crowded shop and said “Look, this is bullshit. There’s no way you’re God, and if you were, wouldn’t you have a host of angels to get your coffee for you?”

The stranger nodded his head slightly and smiled. “Let me guess you need some proof.  You need a sign. It’s a little crowded in here for a burning bush. How about I tell you the next three orders?  They are a double espresso for Matt, an iced latte for Susan, and a large cappuccino for Alice.”

John cocked his head and gave his supposed Lord and redeemer a condescending smirk.  “That’s not much of a miracle.  You could have just listened to everyone as they ordered” John said a split second before the young girl at the counter called out “Double espresso for Matt, a double for Matt.”

“Would it help if I told you Alice was going to put three sugars in her cappuccino? No, I guess not. How about I make you a star?”

“Jesus Christ, I’m not even an actor.  How are you going to make me a star?” John said, anger starting to slip into his voice.

Again, the stranger just smiled, ignoring John’s anger and sarcasm. “I know how upset you are about your Mother, so I won’t chastise you for using my son’s name. Besides, I was talking about an actual star, like the Sun? You want a real miracle to prove that I am who I say I am, and I think creating a tiny star should qualify as a miracle.”

Again, the odd man extended his hand, this time with the palm up. Almost immediately, a tiny point of light appeared several inches above it. Slowly, the point of light grew into a yellow-orange ball the size of a marble. John stared at the tiny miracle, unable to comprehend what was happening but also unable to take his eyes off it.

“Everyone is always impressed with big, but this little one is actually a lot more difficult to create because it doesn’t obey my laws of physics. Of course, I’ve got to contain its heat so it doesn’t hurt anyone. You know, he looks lonely to me.  How about I fill out its solar system?” And with that, other tiny orbs appeared and started revolving around the newly created miniature star. In under a minute, there were six small spheres ranging in color from blue to green to red, all spinning in their orbits around the star, several with their own moons.

John stared at the impossibly detailed and beautiful scene above the stranger’s hand. This had to be a trick!  It was impossible that he was actually waiting for his coffee with God. But how? How could anyone create such an elaborate scene in the middle of a little coffee shop? And still, John’s brain rebelled against the evidence literally right in front of his face, while his heart urged him to acknowledge the truth, that this man was who he claimed to be.

John continued to stare at the marvel before him when God began to speak. “John, I know what you’re going through is hard.  Losing a loved one always is. But I want you to know that your mother lived a long and mostly happy life. It took her a couple of years but eventually, she came to understand that you were right and that you had to go your own way, including leaving her and this little town. She forgave you, but by then the chasm between you two was too deep and she didn’t know how to bridge the gap. Her last wish was that she could have told you how proud she was of you and that she loved you and always will.”

Slowly tears built up in John’s eyes and spilled down his cheeks.  He could not stop staring at the miniature sun and its tiny planets until the man on the other side of him gently nudged him and asked “Hey are you John? I think your order is up.”

Blinking, John was surprised to find himself still in the crowded coffee shop. The same young girl at the counter was holding a large paper cup and calling out “John?  Is there a John in here? Your order is getting cold.”

John looked around the room, but he already knew that God was gone. Not gone, but no longer in the coffee shop. Sluggishly, he made his way to the counter, thanked the girl, and absent-mindedly dropped a dollar in the tip cup. He smiled to himself and headed for the door. His mother’s funeral would be starting in about thirty minutes and there was a lot he wanted to say to her.