Oh well, here we go again

The shrill beeping of the mechanical alarm clock wakes me up dutifully as always. As my hands scramble to find the offending device, I hear the sweet melody of birds singing. Silly me, when have I ever thought the chirping of birds were sweet? Or melodic? This pandemic is doing things to me, I am almost sure of it. Scratch that, I am hundred percent certain of it. Look at my slowly dwindling sanity for instance, yesterday I found myself apologizing to the rubbish bin for knocking it over.

Shaking my head to clear my thoughts, I try to get up groggily from my bed. Key word being “try” here. But what can I say, when the warmth of the bed is calling, my pillow looks enchanting and my body is responding?

Five more minutes can’t hurt can it?

Plus, I am sure today is Saturday, meaning no school. But is it really Saturday? Leaning back into my bed, I sigh into the warmth it offers against the chilly morning atmosphere. Now, where was I? Right, the date. I am fairly sure it was Friday yesterday, because I remember the day I ate cereal was Friday and I am sure I ate a bowl of cereal yesterday. But I eat cereal every day nowadays. No, I am certain there’s something different I do every day.

I get up, I eat, I study and then I sleep. Repeat the pattern again and again, quite like a template, a story of my life in the pandemic. Wait, is that it though? Is that all I do? Every day?

Hold up, I have math every Friday. Did I have Math yesterday? Or chemistry? I have chemistry every Friday too.

I really can’t remember at all. I sigh, and hopelessly stare at the sky hoping for a forget-me-not-blue as a type of pick-me-up. It's grey, not the grey you get from rain, the grey that reminds one of sadness or everything dull or isolated. How very typical.

It seems like everything has changed to gray ever since the pandemic started. All different hues of gray, like all the colors are sucked off along with the life this city bustled with.

Something doesn’t sit right with me. Why does it feel like that every day has been the same since this disaster struck? Since when did my routine go from unpredictable to tediously repetitive?

Now, suddenly the bed doesn’t seem warm anymore. I burrow further down, to chase some of the warmth I desperately need right now.

Maybe if I fall back sleep, and wake back up, all of this would turn out to be a bad dream.

However, once-welcoming but now eluding, sleep does not come easy. I toss and turn trying to sort out the mess of tangles I got myself into.

Now that I think about it, everyday feels like a chore, nothing’s happening, but is that really a bad thing?

It’s boring but nonetheless, it’s not bad, that is better than bad, so technically it’s good. Right?

Then why do I feel so suffocated now?

I feel like an animal shut in its cage, I concluded. It being in a cage isn’t the sad part, but I wonder if it sometimes wished to have grown up in the cage right from the start instead of being given a taste of all the thing it could do outside from it.

Maybe if I didn’t know what it was like, it wouldn’t have been so devastating, would it?

Or from time to time, I find myself craving company. Maybe then the tender passing of time wouldn’t bother me so much, or I wouldn’t mind the accompanying worry or maybe it would ease the boredom away.

Maybe, I would be grateful for the cage of pandemic, when I have someone to share it with me, because I would have all the time in the world to listen and speak and give.

No, no, no why am I so sentimental all of a sudden? Why did me realizing that everyday has been the same for me, suddenly make me so sad?

But who wouldn’t be sad, if they can’t even remember the date because everything has been the same for an eternity??

Am I sad because I am not in control anymore? I was never in control anyways, I am sure it has got nothing to do with that.

The magic of my bed is gone now. Might as well as get up and maybe try changing the way my day goes by.

I am forgetting something though. What was it again?

Right, the date! So much for my musings, I still haven’t remembered the date yet.

I should go find my phone from the depths of my bed, that way I can finally see what day it is today without spiraling into a mish mash of a poetically pathetic musing.

Emerging back from my bed, rather like a sea monster, with my phone at hand I give a triumphant shout as I finally manage to breathe. That duvet is thick enough to suffocate a man.

Anyway, what is the date today?

Today is…Wednesday? How in the world did I get Wednesday to be a Saturday?

I have missed my chemistry test along with it.

Right, I am never trusting myself ever again.

Forget the pandemic, my academic record would be history and even a miracle can’t bring me back if mom ever finds out.

Speak of the devil, the caller ID shows mom’s name on my phone.

“Hello-“

“Why do I hear you have not attended today’s-“

 Oh well, here we go again.

Author's note:

Hi! I am new here, so please be kind? I literally have no idea what I just wrote up there and I feel like I butchered the ending, but oh well, what can I do?

Oh, plus some weird wordings and typos might be literally everywhere , please point it out and feel free to critique my mistakes, I would be happy to know what I am doing wrong. Thank you!

Anyway, come say hi!